When you have higher self-esteem, more people want to be friends with you, and you'll start attracting people you didn't have access to in the past. You start to hang out with people that are more confident, trustworthy, interesting, and fun.
In this article, I would like to share with you 5 ways that having higher self-esteem attracts better people into your life.
1 – You Have Clear Boundaries
People who aren't able to say "no" think they're being nice, but are often seen as untrustworthy. This weakness of character makes people doubt that they can be loyal, and therefor don't pick them first for friendship.
You actually need to be able to say "no" when you want to, and never make false promises. This comes with higher self-esteem and people can tell that you have that in you. You know that you don't have to sacrifice your self-respect to please others.
2 – You're There to Give, Not Just to Take
With higher self-esteem, you naturally strop thinking that in order to have more, you have to take from others. You start to realize that there is a lot more value in the world that we can all use. People can sense that you have an abundance mindset.
People just love to be around givers who are ready to help and contribute positively to their lives. One of the main concerns of people about friendship is to end up with selfish people. And when you adopt this abundance mentality, great people will think that you'll be friends with them if you like them for who they are, not for what you can get from them.
3 – You Celebrate Your Uniqueness
With high self-esteem, you realize that you're unique, and like it. You have no problem with some people not agreeing with your opinions and way of life. When you celebrate your uniqueness, you tend to explore it. This is exactly what makes you an interesting person.
For example, if you like Southern Italian cuisine, even if no one you know does, you start to get more and more interested in it, which means you'll start to know more about Italian geography, history, and world views. You'll maybe even go there on vacation.
Who wouldn't want to hang out with someone who's so passionate about a subject, and isn't afraid to dig deeper in it? People would love to be around you if you're passionate about something; you would inspire them to get passionate about their own interests. This is the case no matter what your interests are; they don't have to be conventional or politically correct.
4 – You're Cheerful And Optimistic
Higher self-esteem means that you'll have an optimistic view for yourself and for others. This is what philosophers call hope for the self, for the other, and for the relationship. This hope and positivity toward the other person makes them instantly want to be around you, as you make them feel great about their future.
When you have that positive energy within your own life, you start to project it on to others. First, they're instantly hit by your cheerfulness, which catches their attention; second, they realize that you not only like yourself, by you also like to be with others.
5 – You're Able To Make Fun Of Yourself
Liking yourself means that you're realistic, and can see your imperfections, quirks, and stupid mistakes. You know you can improve what you want but will never be perfect; and you're okay with that.
One important aspect of self-esteem, is to have a realistic view of yourself; you see your strengths, weaknesses, and you're perfectly okay with the fact that you'll never be perfect.
This opens the possibility for you to not take yourself too seriously, and make fun of yourself, when you do something stupid, or even highlight some quirks, just for fun. This is a big sign for confidence, other cool people recognize it, and know that they can chill and have fun with you.
This shows a very human and vulnerable side of you, which is very attractive to confident people. We're all vulnerable and have weaknesses, but the ones who don't feel the need to cover their weaknesses all the time are seen as courageous. I often suggest to my readers to show a side of them they're not too proud of; it's an instant charmer.
If you want to learn more about friendship and how it works, I recommend that you get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter.
In it, I'll show you the best techniques and strategies for making friends and building your social circle. I'll also share with you new tips for having amazing conversations, that instantly make people want to get to know you.
See you there.
– Paul Sanders