Relationships

Happy Marriage – This ONE Question Holds The Secret

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Steven Aitchison
Written by Steven Aitchison

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Have you ever met a couple who seem head over heals in love? They just seem to have the ultimate happy marriage?

Even after being married for years they still seem to adore each other.

In fact it can be quite sickly being in the presence of this couple as it's clear they are just so in love – cringing!

a picture of an unhappy couple

To be honest I haven't met many couples like this. It seems nowadays that it's okay for couples to put each other down in the company of friends and family.

I have also watched TV programmes like 'Couples come dine with me' where they are positively rude to each other in the company of guests. Some of them are outright hostile to each other.

It baffles me why couples would be in a relationship where they clearly don't really respect their partner.

Well, I have to say I am part of a couple where we just adore each other. We're not gushy, and pawing each other all the time. We just have a huge respect and admiration for each other.

I honestly think my wife is the most intelligent, most loving, sexy, funny and fun person in the world, and I love spending a lot of time with her. She genuinely is my best friend.

We've been together now for 18 years.

To be honest I never understood the whole concept of marriage. I couldn't understand why you would commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life, how boring and constricting would that be, I thought marriage was an outdated concept and seen myself as being either single or in a long term relationship.

That changed when I met my wife, I finally understood why people got married.

Don't get me wrong I still think marriage is an outdated concept and we might be the last generation where marriage is the norm. I think for millennials, it will be unusual for couples to get married. instead they elect to commit to each other through action and not with a piece of paper under religious pretences.

That said I love being married but I could equally say I love being with my partner it wouldn't make that much difference.

I digress slightly.

A lot of people say you have to work to have a happy marriage and to an extent that's true. What people are really saying there is you have to stop being as selfish and think about someone else as well as thinking about your own needs.

There's thousands of books that have been written about having a happy marriage but I have managed to whittle EVERYTHING down to just one question.

If you ask this one question every single day when you wake up and take action on it you will have a much happier marriage than you may have thought possible.

The ONE Question For A Happy Marriage

Every morning as you get out of bed ask yourself this one question:

'What can I do today to make my partner happier?'

That's it. That is literally all you have to ask every day.

However, you've got to take action on that question.

The things you do to make your partner happier don't have to be huge sweeping gestures, in fact the smaller things often make your partner smile the most.

I'm talking about small things like:

image of a man ironing whilst partners looks on happy together
  • Moving the car closer to home so your partner doesn't have as far to walk in the morning when they're going to work.
  • Making breakfast before they go to work.
  • Doing a chore they hate doing.
  • Preparing their lunch.
  • Texting them just to tell them you're thinking about them.
  • Running a bath for them coming in from work.
  • Recording their favourite TV programmes.
  • Buying them a book by their favourite authors.
  • Tell them you love them
  • Ask how their day went at work today and actively listen.

You see it doesn't have to be big things you do as long as you ask the question and take action this will truly help you have a happy marriage.

You might think this is too simplistic and being married is much more complicated than this and there's lots of dynamic pieces to it.

Not true.

We make it complicated.

All you have to do to have a happy marriage is think about your partners needs instead of your own and if you do this every single day then you genuinely will have a happy marriage.

And by the way a lot of people reading this might be thinking 'Well if i think about my partners needs all the time, when do my needs get met?'

All I am asking is you start your day thinking about your partners needs.

A few other articles you might enjoy about having a happy marriage:

7 Things to Give Up Immediately for a Happier Marriage.

12 Romantic Things You Could Easily Do for Your Wife

A Simple Guide to Better Relationships

Newly Married

The Happy Couple

A simple guide to improving your relationships

What do you think?

Let me know in the comment below what you think about this.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.