Relationships

What’s The Quickest & Easiest Way To Kill New Relationships?

Bart Rippl
Written by Bart Rippl

When was the last time someone neglected to remember your name?

I’ll bet it wasn’t that long ago, maybe even today.

Perhaps the individual is a neighbor with whom you’ve conversed before. Or a fellow volunteer or co-worker. Perhaps a customer or supplier.

And how did this make you feel? Slighted? Inferior? Belittled?

body_language_3And what was your opinion of the person who didn’t bother to remember your name? Jerk? Fool? [Expletive deleted]?

I don’t know about you, but when someone doesn’t bother to remember my name “”     particularly after we’ve encountered one another on several occasions “” my estimation of the offending party is that they’re lazy and don’t really value the formation of new relationships.

Now I’m going to turn the tables. And as one of my college professors used to preface each controversial topic he was about to broach: “If I offend you, it’s completely intentional.”

When was the last time YOU neglected to remember someone’s name?

It’s okay to admit it. I’m not here to wag my finger or to otherwise judge. Suffice it to say that you’re in good company.

But I want you to remember how you felt when that most recent person neglected to remember your name “” because this is how you make people feel when you neglect to remember their names.

A bit of tough love, perhaps. But I’ll pay you the compliment of being brutally honest. If we hope to make any meaningful improvements to ourselves & our lives, a little self-reflection sometimes is in order. And that goes for me, too.

Yes, I’ll freely admit that I’m one of those persons who always remembers your name. And I’ve spent a great many years perfecting this craft. And no, I do not have a photographic memory. Far from it.

Had we met at some point in the past, I may have engendered in you a sense of annoyance at my ability to remember your name “” I get this reaction all the time. Or perhaps you silently admired me for this subtle compliment that I paid to you. Maybe the entire encounter sailed right over your head. It matters not.

“But honestly, Bart. What in the world has all of this got to do with the Law of Attraction?”

In a word, everything.

Permit me to explain.

We all are supremely aware that with the LOA, a positive mental attitude attracts positive experiences and circumstances and that a negative mental attitude attracts conditions which we would regard as negative or undesirable.

I’m sorry, but when other people’s names are simply not important enough for you to take the time to remember, how can this be regarded as anything but a negative mental attitude?

Meeting people for the first time, and learning their names, comprises the very bedrock (or foundation) of all relationships. Over a quarter century of personal and sales experience has proven this maxim to be utterly irrefutable.

So if you’re a practitioner of the LOA, you want to maintain a positive mental attitude towards life & living, right? Towards your fellow travelers? In spite of all the reasons you shouldn’t?

Then I’m here to impress upon you the importance of remembering people’s names as a means to attracting positive experiences & circumstances.

The pure joy that this skill has brought to me is incalculable. And I want you to share in the joy.

“But I don’t know how to develop this skill, Bart.”

Understood. But you should take solace in the fact that there are plenty of books and websites which can guide you and provide helpful techniques.

The important part is to simply recognize how critical this one simple skill is to starting, and maintaining, lasting and meaningful relationships.

And talk about enjoying an edge in business and in life? You’ll really stand out in the crowd sporting this rarefied ability.

Self-help swami Dale Carnegie, author of the timeless classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, said it best:

“If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.”

So go out and compliment some people in this fashion.

And relish all of the positive energy that you pull in.

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About the author

Bart Rippl

Bart Rippl

Commencing with his first job straight out of university in 1989 as an industrial supplies salesman in the Midwestern United States, Bart Rippl has more recently turned to digital publishing and online marketing. He and his wife Michelle practice yoga and are active in animal rescue. They live in Cleveland, Ohio. You can find him here