Old friends are great but, let’s face it, they don’t all stick around. Everyone seems to move, get married, or launch into a career that makes them just disappear from your life.
We all need new friends, if we want to avoid being lonely. In this article, we’re going to talk about exactly how to do that. Read on:
Secret #1 – Meet People Who Actually Want New Friends
Very often, when people think of making new friends, they fantasize about joining crowded groups of friends. That’s good, but not necessary. I suggest that you focus on people who are actually want to meet new people.
In order to do that, you can start going to the events that attract such people: expat events, meetups, and social gatherings that are based on an interest, a hobby, or a charity.
Secret #2 – Use The Double Commonality Technique
If you want to turn a stranger into a friend, you need to find things that you have in common with them. Many people know that, but it’s only half the truth”¦ Having one commonality with someone is just a chance of being friends”¦.
You need two commonalities.
When you meet someone new, and you find ONE thing in common with them, look to find a second, that has nothing to do with the other. Having two different things in common is more rare, and speeds up the rapport building.
Secret #3 – Use Your Hobbies and Interests
Meeting people with whom you have things in common is like a shortcut to making friends. No matter how obscure or rare your hobbies are, you can find others who are into the same things.
Avoid trying to make friends with the “popular kids” and you’ll save yourself months or years of frustration. Start by making friends with people who have the same interests as you do, develop your skills, then start making friends with popular people if you want.
Secret #4 – Go Where Meeting People is Inevitable
One of the hardest things about being social and making friends is about working up the courage and motivation to get out of the couch (or the bed) and go meet new people.
There is a way to meet new people that doesn’t require any motivation or courage. You do that by joining the organizing team of an interest groups that holds regular meetings. It can be a local meetup groups, expat community, professional association, NGO, or any specific interest group.
Why does it work? Once you commit to the team, you have to show up.
Secret #5 – Introduce People to Each Other
It’s not intuitive to introduce people to each other, as you’re developing your social life. It wasn’t intuitive to me either, until I noticed that very socially skilled people do it all the time.
Even if you have very few friends right now, take advantage of every opportunity to connect people together. If you do it, they’ll start meeting each other, and, of course, include you. They’ll also start bringing others to the mix, and introduce them to you.
Secret #6 – Don’t Leave It To Chance, Take Control Instead
Making a few decision is a great way to start your way to a the social life you want. You can start by deciding on how often you want to go out, with whom you want to hang out with, which activities you prefer to do, and more.
Most importantly, don’t ever think that making friends and being social is a natural ability reserved only for a category of people. It’s a skill that you can learn. If you start using the techniques and principles that work, you’ll have the friends you want.
If you want to learn more secrets of meeting and making new friends, I recommend that you get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter.
In it, I’ll show you the best techniques and strategies for making friends and building your social circle. I’ll also share with you new tips for having amazing conversations, that instantly make people want to get to know you.
See you there.
– Paul Sanders