Do you ever think or feel that the people you hang out with might be holding you back? Have you ever thought that to access your next level of success and happiness, you need to have access to new people?
We instinctively know that we tend to be influenced by the people we hang out with. As they say: “birds of a feather, flock together.” But, beyond instinct, an amazing body of research proves that the influence between friends is stronger than we thought.
Researchers now say that the best way to have success is to surround yourself with successful people.
Discovery #1 ““ friends make you more ambitious
In a social experiment, researchers had people stand at the bottom of hill and estimate its steepness. Those who were alone reported that the hill was much more steep than did those who were with close friends.
This means that when you face challenges, you’ll be have more courage to face them, if you’re surrounded with good friends.
Discovery #2 ““ friends root for you, harder than you think
Freya Harrison, Ph.D., of Oxford University, asked subjects to do series of squats, in exchange for a small payment, to see how long they’ll go. After that, he had them do the same, but this time, their friends and family members would get the payment.
The results were shocking: people did 1.5 more squats when they were paying their friends, than when they paying themselves or their family members!
Discovery #3 ““ friends are very important for your health
Redford Williams, of Duke University, found that people who were lonely were up to 3 times more likely to die of coronary artery disease within 5 years. Another study of Duke University found that people with heart disease are twice as likely to die if they have less than 4 close friends, over a time span of 4 years.
Tom Rath, the senior scientist at Gallup, says that Ã¬If your best friend has a very healthy diet, you are more than five times as likely to have a very healthy diet yourself.Ã®
And so on…
Every now and then, a scientist shocks us with some experiment that proves, again, that friends are pulling us up, or down.
Now, Should You “Fire” Your Slacking Friends?
We can now ask questions like: Should you break-up with the friends that don’t pull you up to more success and happiness? Should you only make friends with successful people, and pay less regard to other sides of their personality, like honesty and loyalty?
In my experience, it’s more of a gray area, than a black-or-white.
There is no need to launch on your contact list, erasing anyone who seems to be slacking off. But, you can start to have a priority list, where you put the people that inspire you, and start hanging out more with those.
Here Are 3 Ways To Take Advantage Of These Scientific Findings
1- From Now On, It’s Okay To Be Picky! Now that you have scientific proof that friends can make or break the ambition and persistence you need for success, you can pick and choose your friends, with no guilt.
2- Recognize That You’re Not a 100% Individualistic. If you’ve been telling yourself that you don’t need anyone’s help to reach your goals, then it’s time to give yourself a break, and recognize that you could use some support. You deserve it.
3- No More Confusion. If you get confused between having ambitious goals, and hanging out with unambitious people, then it’s time to change. Now, that you know that success and successful friends go together, you can build a social circle that is will support your dreams and aspirations.
4- Bonus-Tip: If you want to easily spot the right friends for you, the ones who will influence you towards more success and happiness, then write a list of the qualities you want in them. Be a little more ambitious than usual. When you write down that list, it’s much easier for your busy brain to spot these people.
Give this a try and see these potentially great friends pop up everywhere.
If you want to get more insider tips on how to find the best people, and know how to make friends with them, then I recommend that you get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter.
In it, I’ll show you ways you can blast through shyness or hesitation, hold great conversations, and make friends with interesting and fun people.
See you there, and good luck!