Happiness is such a vague word.
When I was in college my friend calmly told me that his life sucks.
A few months ago his father was diagnosed with cancer. He and his mother spent all their money in hopes of keep him alive. But the cancer was too severe and his father died.
His job application was refused in a couple of places. He was desperately looking for a job. Now, he works in a call center – a job he doesn't like but he needs money.
I remember him smiling, confident and happy. He believed that his lifestyle was the result of keeping positive thoughts in his head. He didn't bother working, because his father was supporting he and his mother financially.
Today, I can't remember the last time I saw him smiling.
And I wonder.
Is happiness dependent on life circumstances?
The real world
I have a dream that one day we'll live in a world where happiness won't be affected by the challenges of life, but by the type of our actions.
Until than we live in a world where different life circumstances affect our lifestyle and we have to adapt to these changes.
Imagine yourself in these 5 life circumstances:
1. You have an unbearable boss
You like your job, but you hate going to work. Your boss shouts and puts pressure on you. He is not well organized and makes you guilty for all his failures.
2. Going through divorce
Breaking up with your life partner isn't easy. After living together for a while it's difficult to share the good memories. It's even harder when you have to share the property and kids.
3. Living in a bad neighborhood
You live in a city with a high crime rate. Every time when you go out of the house you are at risk to be mugged or become a victim of a crime. You are terrified to use the subway because of an overwhelming tide of junkies.
4. A parent's death in your childhood
It's a shocking tragedy when a parent dies and you're still very young. You immediately mature and you take responsibility for your younger brother or sister.
5. Working at a job you don't like
Finding a job you'll love is difficult. In my case it took me about 6 months of looking for a better job opportunity. Until then, you have to go to your job and do it like you love it. Otherwise you can be fired.
I believe it's difficult to be a positive thinker when you're going through one of the above circumstances.
Who said that life is easy?
In many cases it's not. You have to endure things you don't like, go through challenges and obstacles. This road may either break you or make you stronger.
If you manage to keep calm, be confident and think positive in these circumstances, then you are on the right track to your happiness.
You'll understand that happiness is not how much you have, but how much you enjoy.
Don't confuse happiness with pleasure
You may perceive happiness as the amount of things that bring you pleasure.
You think if you could gather everything, you'll be happier. If you miss something, your happiness collapses.
It'll only make you tired.
It's like a beautiful chocolate cake. First serving is delicious, second one not so much and third one you'll feel disgusted.
You fail to understand that the outer world is limited. In the pursuit of happiness you need to look inside of you.
Your dreams should correspond to the life you live today. Find things you can easily enjoy.
You should always try to change your circumstances to better ones. It doesn't mean if you're in bad life circumstances you can't enjoy beautiful moments that'll fulfill your heart with happiness. On your journey to happiness follow these basic principles.
- Be an example to follow: Tell me who are your friends and I'll tell who you are. You're the average of 10 people you spend most time with. It's never too late to set goals and dream big. You have to live with a vision of yourself first, and don't ever compare yourself to anyone else.
- Focus on things that matter: Our world is full of interesting things and we often have the desire to try as many of them as possible. Some of them will make you busy and will make you unhappy. Focus on things you enjoy that truly matter to your heart.
- Choose to help others: Help people when they need it. Be compassionate about someone who is in a worse position than yours. If someone is sad, make them smile by telling them a compliment.
There is always a way to be happy
Happiness is something that comes from within. It's a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment.
Happiness needs to be supported by acts of generosity. When you save a child or make someone happy and you don't ask for recognition.
Just doing that, you feel a deep sense of adequacy with deep nature, and you would like to be like that all the time.
Instead of living with anger, depression and stress try to keep serenity, inner strength, confidence and freedom.
Find the power to move forward.
It's worth it.