Are You in Danger of Being Used Romantically?

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Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters. "• John Mark Green

Do you agree or disagree with this quote? I find that it's tough to look at the evidence and disagree because in life, some people will try to take advantage of us.

In other words, their objective is to receive everything they can without giving up much or anything in return. To find an example of this practice in action, look no further than romantic relationships.

Before you panic, my aim isn't to frighten you about falling in love, and I'm not here to suggest that it's impossible to experience your version of lifelong romantic bliss.

Instead, I want to emphasize the importance of doing your due diligence by determining where to spend your time, but also with whom you decide to dedicate your heart.

Participating in today's arena of dating is somewhat like a game of chess. Although I don't like to convey a correlation between matters of the heart with games, I cannot pretend as if I'm oblivious to the present environment involving romantic relationships.

Since the interest of some individuals is to play romantic games, and because there's the possibility for us to end up on the receiving end, it's our obligation to determine if we want to participate or not.

At this point, some readers will wonder why we have to carry this burden when we're not the perpetrators of this romantic crime. Well, who else will look out for our emotional safety besides ourselves?  Instead of seeing this as being accountable for the actions of an opportunist, try to see it as as you being responsible for yourself.

In my view, no one is more responsible for our emotional wellbeing like the reflection we see staring back in the mirror.  Do you think the people you meet each morning, several months ago, or last year will have a greater concern over your wellbeing than you will? Realistically, what do you believe?

Through an honest and objective assessment, I presume that you will have a stronger concern for the safety of your heart.  To put things into perspective,  women spend roughly 287 days, over their lifetime, choosing what to wear on average.  In regard to a  survey by Deloitte, it appears that groups between the ages of 14-33 will binge-watch, on average, shows for five hours straight.

With these two examples, whenever we want to spend time doing something such as choosing an outfit, or whether to binge-watch one television series versus another, we somehow find the time.  Basically, when we want to make time for something, we don't seem to have a problem uncovering it.

Although our friendships and romantic relationships will take up a vast majority of our lives, it doesn't seem that we spend an adequate amount of time making sure that we're aligning ourselves with compatible individuals.

For instance, when we find someone physically attractive, we should reconsider falling prey to what meets the eye. Keep one thing in mind: salt and sugar will seem exactly the same until we finally get a taste.

With this concept in mind, William Shakespeare once said, "All that glisters is not gold." You see, someone may have the most visually stunning exterior in existence, but what resides underneath the surface is potentially hideous.

In my experience, what speaks rather beautifully to our eyes will sometimes convey a revolting message to our hearts and thoughts.

With that said, we have every right to enjoy watching an awesome new show, and we have every right to spend ample time determining what to wear. Why is this? You're the senior executive of your life; therefore, you can live it however you choose.

Nevertheless, this doesn't mean that we should undermine the importance of allocating a suitable amount of time to make sure that we're choosing the most fitting partner.  If we look at the evidence, it becomes fairly easy to admit that some people will try to take advantage of us.

Since this is the case, the ball is in our court to minimize these individuals from occupying much of our emotional space. We cannot stop life from taking its course, but we can limit the number of toxic individuals from remaining in our lives.

So, instead of us wandering from one relationship to the next in the blink of an eye, it's imperative to put a little more due diligence in the process. After all, isn't your heart and time worth it?

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About the author

Alton Walker

Alton Walker discovered that the most beautiful, but also the most difficult thing about being in love is that it requires our active participation for it to thrive. His goal is to inspire readers to see that the magic of love doesn't only exist in fairy tales; it resides right within all of us. However, we must believe that it's possible, and we must then be willing to work to make it happen. Until we do, it will always appear as a mere fantasy. You can find him on, Instagram and twitter