Relationships

Are We Contributing to the Failure of a Relationship?

Alton Walker
Written by Alton Walker

Are you afraid to admit when certain aspects of your life are in shambles, or do you feel comfortable enough to look at your life and determine through an objective lens that it’s time to make a change?

Personally, my romantic life at one point was heading down an unfruitful path, but I was unwilling to acknowledge this potential dead end. At the time also, I was definitely reluctant to admit that I played a role in the long-term failures of my romantic relationships.

To put things into perspective, it’s difficult to make improvements in life when we’re hesitant to acknowledge that improvements are necessary, but it’s even more challenging for the corrections to occur when we deny that we’re the ones most suitable to make them.

By the time you reach the end of this article, I’d like to convey why it’s important to recognize what’s going on with the state of our romantic relationships, and why we should begin making adjustments as soon as we become aware.

Upon discovering the person staring back in the mirror, I realized that my romantic relationships didn’t experience long-term success because I denied the importance of understanding who I was, but also who I could become.

Whether platonic or romantic in nature, I now uphold the belief that unfamiliarity with one’s self will lead to strained relationships. Therefore, whenever I discuss the subject of relationship with anyone, the main focus is to see how much each individual knows him or herself.

As a disclaimer, knowing who we are will not make the relationships in our lives flawless. Nevertheless, knowing who we are can mitigate some of the issues that may arise when we lack self-awareness.

For instance, I may not close a multi-million dollar deal this week, but I’ll have a much greater degree of success to do so than someone who tells him or herself that it’s impossible. In other words, a person doesn’t produce positive results simply because s/he knows his or her potential, but it does increase the chances of this person meeting an objective by being self-aware.

When we become cognizant of who we are, and when we pursue a path to create a healthy relationship with ourselves, there’s a greater degree of willingness to assess not only the good taking place in our lives, but we’ll also recognize the bad.

Furthermore, the likelihood is that whenever we become aware that change is necessary, we won’t run in the opposite direction and deny the reality of what we’ve discovered.

Why? Why would someone in this position be unafraid to confront something so uncomfortable? This person realizes that growth is unlikely whenever the mind chooses to remain stagnant. In other words, like an antivirus program used to monitor the health of a computer, we should consider scheduled or unscheduled checkups of self-reflection in our personal lives.

Without doing this, all aspects of our lives may appear like sunshine and rainbows on the surface. Beneath the outward appearance though, it’s as if everything is falling apart at the seams.

Although I continue to experience moments of self-reflection, it doesn’t mean that my marriage is somehow perfect. On the contrary, I’m well aware of the imperfections, but I’m also conscious that each day affords me a new opportunity to be a better husband.

Because we’re both self-aware about our flaws in the marriage, we know that we must grow individually to improve as a couple.

Whenever two flawed individuals enter a union, and they both refuse to work on their faults, what do you believe will happen? There’s usually one likely scenario: a flawed relationship that’s unaware of its shortcomings.

I can understand why we’re afraid to stare at the reflection in the mirror and truly build a relationship with it. However, until we do, our relationships with everyone else will continue to suffer.

Upon realizing what caused my romantic relationships to fail over the long haul, it was apparent that I had to change things within and around myself. By doing so, my life improved.

So, are you afraid to admit when certain aspects of your life are in shambles, or do you feel comfortable enough to look at your life and determine through an objective lens that it’s time to make a change?

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About the author

Alton Walker

Alton Walker

Alton Walker discovered that the most beautiful, but also the most difficult thing about being in love is that it requires our active participation for it to thrive. His goal is to inspire readers to see that the magic of love doesn't only exist in fairy tales; it resides right within all of us. However, we must believe that it's possible, and we must then be willing to work to make it happen. Until we do, it will always appear as a mere fantasy. You can find him on AltonWalkerInspires.com, Instagram and twitter