I still feel sad when I hear stories about women, and men too, who have sacrificed certain aspects of their lives in order to stay in their relationship or to keep their partner happy. When did our own happiness suddenly take a back seat? I don't get that. More often than not, it's the women who do this. It's an age old mentality that women must do everything to make sure that the home and the family are happy but what about her? But we are moving away from a patriarchal society (Or at least we should be).
We don't live in the 1900's anymore. I would like to think that we are more progressive than we were 100 years ago. We've come a long way that's for sure. Our technology has grown, our houses, our status symbols, our wealth, everything but our mentality.
I get it that we all have to make little sacrifices whilst in long term relationships, or when we are married, like nights out with the boys, holidays with the girls, watching football 24/7, shopping for shoes, you know what I mean. But there's just some things you cannot sacrifice.
7 Things You Absolutely Should NOT Sacrifice For a Relationship
Now this should really go without saying but I still see news stories about how some woman and men let their new partner abuse (mentally, emotionally, physically and financially) their children because they didn't want to run the risk of them leaving. That is just mental in the most mental sense. Your children's wellbeing is THE most important part of your life and should be paramount in everything you do.
Unless you were raised by some sort of cult parents that had you sacrificing goats on the 3rd Monday of every month. (Is that even a thing anymore?) If you are a Catholic or Christian or whatever faith you follow and you attend church regularly, don't give that up for anyone. It's your faith, your religion. If your new partner isn't interested and couldn't care if you go or not, then continue going. If your new partner talks down to you about your faith, so much so that you stop going, then you have a situation on your hand. Don't give up your faith.
Ever. They will always be there for you no matter what. If your new partner doesn't like your friends and tries to convince you that they are not good for you, then they're not good for you. Your good friends are always by your side. Why would you toss them to the curb for a relationship? Do they not deserve better than that? Yeah, you might not see them as much but dropping them from your life is not good.
They don't want to go to family dinners every Sunday so you end up staying home too. Eventually, you just don't see your family very much anymore and communication is few and far between. they've made it almost impossible to even reach out to them. Your family is important and yes you won't see them as much but your partner should not actively sabotage your relationship with them.
This includes but is not limited to: self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect and self-love. The person you are with should be boosting these things for you, not taking them away. If they don't then it may be time to drop them.
Your dreams and goals.
We all have them and should have them. You should always be dreaming your dream and working towards your goals. If your partner does not support your dreams and goals and talks you out of them or down to you about them, they're intimidated and don't want you to succeed. The person you are in a relationship with should be your #1 fan when it comes to your life's work and aspirations.
Your independence, financial and otherwise.
If you had a bank account before entering into this relationship maintain it as your own, simply because, you just never know, right? Other independence includes being able to go out alone or with friends and keeping your own interests and hobbies. You never want to lose sight of you and who you are. Stay true to you. You never know when you might be the only person around to love you.
I do think it's different when you are married. Married couples who have their own bank accounts just baffles me. If you've made as big a commitment as marriage then why you can't have joint accounts just seems a little strange, in my opinion.
If you have sacrificed any or all of the above for a relationship it's not too late to take back your power and live life on your terms, for you. Be free, be happy, be love.