That word makes us cringe. The thought of being stuck with anybody or anything really is horrible but what happens when it’s a manipulator? People say you aren’t stuck anywhere and for the most part, they are right. If you don’t like where you are move, you’re not a tree. Right? Sometimes it’s not that easy. You are required or obligated to stay where you are. Whatever the case may be, you are in a room and you are with a manipulator and you are stuck. What now?
Manipulative people know their gift. They aren’t stupid. Understand this right now, they know they are manipulators they probably just don’t call it that. They know exactly how to make people do what they want, when they want as often as they want. You aren’t the first to get caught in their web and you won’t be the last. Happens to the best of us. The positive side of this, if you can even find one, is that there are ways to deal with this type of people.
1. If it’s just you and them alone in a room, just nod and agree.
Only of course, if you aren’t agreeing to anything that will hurt you or anyone else. Just let them go on and ramble and come up with whatever ridiculous plan they have and let them be. It is pointless in trying to argue any reason into them so don’t even bother. If the manipulator is your partner it might be time for you to come up with your own plan soon.
2. No need to argue.
It’s an argument you won’t win if winning is the end result you are looking for. It won’t happen. You are probably right and have all the logic but that will all fall on deaf ears. The manipulator is also never wrong and always right. Remember that now and it will save you tons of grief, frustration and days of tears and anger. You can’t argue with a manipulator.
3. State your case and your opinions too.
Let them know that you have a voice, be diplomatic, and have your say. If they have pushed you too far then flip to your stand your ground mode. There’s nothing wrong with doing that. The only problem is, they may or may not listen to you or care what you have to say. You could be wasting your breath. Remember #2. Be calm, assertive but not argumentative or aggressive.
4. Everything is temporary.
Even the time you have to spend with this person right now, it will come to an end soon, unless it’s your partner, then your problem is much bigger. If it is only a family gathering or a one-night event or something of the sort, you will be done with them soon. Before you know it, you will be back home and detoxing all that negative energy.
5. Let’s talk.
Is it possible to discuss this situation with this person? Sometimes it is and you may have great success so don’t discount that route. Try and talk to them and let them know their behaviour is uncalled for and how it makes you feel. If the manipulator happens to be your partner, maybe they will try to get help for whatever their situation is. You won’t know until you talk about it and find out. Get to the root of the matter. Work together if you can. People can change.
6. Talk to a friend.
Is there some way you can deal with this person that maybe you aren’t aware of yet? Maybe someone you know has been through this exact same thing and they can help you. Seek out the advice of guidance of a friend you know who has been involved with a manipulator and what tools they used to handle them. It just might make your encounters more enjoyable, if anything.
Manipulative people may not be the nicest people to deal with, but like any other person, there is always a positive and loving side to them. They know this too. They are charmers. Though it certainly isn’t pleasant to deal with them, it s also not impossible. If they need help, subtly offer it to them and let it go.