10 Things You Need To Remember When Your Heart Is Breaking

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Being in love is purely one of life's most beautiful gifts but when we fall out of love that gift turns in to an emotional rollercoaster and is no longer so sweet. We will experience every emotion known to mankind with a raging fury. Our minds are scrambled our hearts are fried. We are at our lowest of lows. Yes, the proverbial heart break is no fun at all. It feels like your heart has been ripped out, trampled on, spit on, tossed in the air and shot at with a skeet shooter and then shoved back inside for you to deal with it.

But how do we deal with it? That's the million-dollar question. We don't want to deal or heal or anything of that nature. We want to scream and cry and throw things, and you should. It's actually a great part of the healing process. But what else should we know or be doing? While you are going through the dreaded heart break, remember these very important things.

heart_breaking1. You will be ok.

I know it sounds almost cliché but really, you will be ok. You've probably been through this before too and you managed to heal yourself quite nicely from the last time. Don't neglect the emotions you are feeling but just keep in mind that healing happens and you will be just fine.

2. He/she doesn't deserve you anyway.

It doesn't matter who did the breaking up, you are deserving of great love. Period. Everyone is actually. Sit and think about all the shitty things he/she did to you. You didn't deserve any of it.

3. Don't do anything stupid.

Like texting the ex for no reason. Time to let it go. Stop punishing yourself. It's torture. Your ex has moved on and so should you. Don't go slashing his/her car tires or keying their car. Don't post ridiculous hate messages on their Facebook page, just don't do anything stupid. It's rather immature. It shows your character, not theirs.

4. Get rid of all things that remind you of your ex.

Especially if it was a bad break up or it was their decision. Holding onto any of that is just going to torment you more. Toss the dried flowers, the love letters, the picture from your first vacation. All of that has to go. Your healing will be prolonged if you hang on to it.

5. Don't contact them if you don't have to.

No phone calls, no letters, don't go stalking them at the bar they hang out or at their work. Just leave them be. Delete them from y our phone, rolodex or wherever else you have their contact info.

6. Don't hang on to their friends or ask their friends questions about them.

In other words, no interrogating his/her people. It doesn't matter what they are doing now or what they did last night. It's none of your business. Your heart isn't going to heal any faster by some of the things you find out.

7. No sneaking around.

And you know what I mean. You probably already have done that. Stop doing that. It's called torture. Your heart doesn't want to be tortured anymore. It wants to mend and be happy again.

8. Hearts are made to love.

Your heart really wants love, good love. That's what hearts want. Don't close your heart off from love. Don't let your heart be tarnished by a breakup.   This probably isn't the first one, though we do hope it's the last. Keep your heart open for love.

9. This is your time to re-evaluate you.

Did you have any part in the breakup? Was it something you did or didn't do that maybe you could have or should have? By that I mean, maybe being more understanding or less selfish.

10. Don't be in a rush to get over it and move on.

You and your heart need time to heal. Think about what just happened and why. Was there a lesson to be learned from this heart break? Can you avoid a repeat pattern?

Too often when we go through heart break our emotions get the better of us and rip us to shreds. We hate men/women, we are angry, we are sad, the list goes on and on but one thing is for certain, you've been here before and survived. You probably came out stronger and happier. You will get through this. You should never take any regrettable permanent action for a temporary pain.   Give your heart some time to heal. Allow yourself to go through the myriad of emotions that you need to. When you are done, yo u will feel refreshed and in a much better position to love again. You'll be ok.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.