SEX
POLITICS
RELIGION
Conventional wisdom says not to talk about sex, politics and religion in the office. The problem is that any office, workplace or organization is mostly made up of people and if the volume of blogs, internet sites, magazines and other media is any indication of popularity, people love to talk about: SEX, POLITICS AND RELIGION!
We’re in the middle of the most contentious political season anyone still alive can remember. Can we have respectful political conversations in the workplace?
I say yes; but we need to make a few AssUmptions™. I know, once again I’m going against conventional wisdom which says when you assume you make an a#$ out of you, and me. I think you’ll find these AssUmptions™ useful:
- Not everyone shares your point of view.
- The other guy is entitled to his or her opinion.
- The other guy has a rational reason for his or her opinion.
- Silence does not always confirm agreement.
- EVERYONE is entitled to at least two things: Thoughts & Feelings.
Carry these AssUmptions™ with you into nearly any conversation and you can enjoy a respectful and perhaps even an informative exchange of ideas.
You don’t need a list of rules; in fact I only really observe one rule in life; the Rule of Respect. Talking to a group of first grade students on the subject of Respect I started by asking for a definition. Being the expert I was just about to launch into my pre-programmed script on the subject when one young man stood up, bowed and said, “Respect means taking care of one another!” I’m not easily moved to tears but I had to sit down and take a few minutes after that one! To this day I’ve adopted this definition of Respect and have tried to live my life by that Rule.
As we go through the political season I will, from time to time, interject some of my “Guidelines for Respectful Office Conversation” and items from my “Top 10 List of Stuff You Should AVOID Doing or Saying in Office Conversations.” These are fun, but if you stick to the Rule of Respect you’ve pretty well got things covered.
For now just remember two things:
- When it’s obvious that what you’re doing or saying is not “caring” for the other person, it’s probably time to let it go.
- While you’re at work, remember that you’re there above all: to WORK!
“Talking Religion in the Office” has to wait until football season starts!
About the author
Jim is now a regular at ‘Change Your Thoughts’, if you haven’t already visited his site I would urge you to have a look. Jim is an author, businessman, personal development trainer, black belt Karate instructor, football coach….the list goes on. He is the creator of the Dynamic Components of Personal Power program. Visit Jim’s site at www.jimbouchard.org for more information on his self development program.
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“The other guy has a rational reason for his or her opinion.”
Oh, that’s the point I keep forgetting about. When you are perfectly sure you are right, that’s too complicated to imagine someone could have the right to have another opinion.
There’s the rub! We all forget this point from time to time; except me of course because I’m always right and your opinion doesn’t matter to me!
I’ve found this to be the most useful AssUmption TM. When I can at least concede that the other person has a rational reason for his or her opinion, I’m more open to listening at the initial stage of the conversation. Then if I really don’t agree, I can find a respectful way to express my opinion without engaging in personal attacks.
And it works…most of the time!
Best thoughts,
Jim
I’ve been fortunate to meet some people who can have conversations about most anything and see them as just that: conversations. Not arguments to make someone wrong, not opportunities to show who is smarter, and not personal attacks based on differing opinions. I agree that respect is key, and as part of that is to stick to the topic and not make it personal.
Thanks for the 5 Assumptions – they’re essential when talking taboo.
I don’t believe diversity makes us stronger. I believe that our ability to get along in spite of vast differences in belief, ethnicity, religious and political ideology makes us stronger. To get along we don’t need to agree; we need to respect one another.
I was once giving a talk on respect and responsibility to a group of elementary school students. I asked them what the word “Respect” means. One young man, a first grader, stood up and said…
“Respect means taking care of one another.”
Have you ever heard a better definition? With respect, our diversity makes us interesting and exciting. Express your opinions with passion. Defend your position with enthusiasm. Respect other opinions as if they belong to you.
Best thoughts!
Jim
Respect others…!
yeah that’s the point
It is obvious to me why these 3 subjects could become heated is because these are the subjects that people are most passionate about, Good post
I think if you are careful about some of these issues you can have a decent conversation about it. I do believe that this is something you should stick by if you are unfamiliar with at least one person in the group, though.
Yes very true but one can search for dating and can get some fun buy exploring some websites siting in the office instead of looking fun by this making this kind of conversation.