Find Out Who Your True Supporters Are Through Action

Armen Shirvanian talks about how to find out who your supporters are.

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Editors Note: This is a guest post from Armen Shirvanian from

One of the quickest ways to find out who in your personal circle truly supports you is to put out loads of effort in activity that you are passionate about. Very little time will elapse before you find out who your prime supporters are, versus those who are relatively neutral, and those that will jealously try to discourage you.   It is advantageous for you to do this sooner than later, due to some of the various reasons discussed here:

true_suportersAction Filters Out Inactive Individuals

If you're looking at this from the perspective of wanting to filter out people who don't have your interests in mind, few other methods are as efficient. Your passionate efforts serve as pressure on those you know, forcing them to show you if they are there behind you, or if they actually have been wanting you to run into hard times.   It is difficult for a person to not try to tear you down if they don't want to see you succeed, and it is difficult for someone to not try to help if they want to see you succeed.   People tend to filter who they interact with at key points in their lives anyway, and taking action speeds up this process.

There Are Some People You Want To Hold Onto

One of the biggest benefits of this is that you will quickly find out who you shouldn't take for granted. There are people that will temporarily put aside their priorities to help and uplift you, but you often don't know where they are until you jump into being productive. These people may be currently sending you a signal or two to show that they are ready to be on your team, but they can't act as your auxiliary support system until you set the foundation.   You don't want to ignore what they are indirectly letting you know they are willing to assist you with, because they may get to a point where they label you as confused or unwilling to accept help, and you will then have missed a cooperative opportunity.

Your Supporters View Your Action As A Trigger

Someone can't spread the good word about your musical creation abilities until you start routinely producing jazz songs. Your friend who wants to support your financial consulting business will hesitate to offer you a cheap lease price for his back office until he gets the feeling that you are looking to expand by adding another office location.   A classmate of yours can't recommend you for an employment position to his boss until you give him examples of your current actions/skills to use as leverage.

Once you provide the signal that you are intently following your passion, silent supporters won't feel like their effort to help will be a waste. To emphasize this point, think about a time when you helped someone and they didn't show any sign of appreciation or response. You likely either responded in anger or acceptance by distancing yourself in some way from that person. Our pragmatic minds keep us from giving too much without seeing some sort of returned effort.

Your Energy Can Then Be Used With The Right People

The side effect of finding out which individuals are not on your side is that you can save the energy you would have put out trying to earn their support, and use it to engage with those who are in line with your pursuit. You have a limited amount of energy, so you don't want to look back later wondering why you tried to develop a relationship with someone who didn't have good intent for you and your future. That energy and time is there for you to build your success team.

In summary:

  1. Take solid actions in your field of interest
  2. Note who is not supportive of your actions and keep it in mind
  3. Notice who jumps in to help you further your goals
  4. Spend most of your energy with those who supported your efforts

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About the author

Armen Shirvanian

Armen Shirvanian writes words of wisdom about mindset, communication, relationships, and related topics at Timeless Information. You can follow him on Twitter at @Armen.