Lucky you. Your partner is beautiful/handsome and dreamy and everything anyone can ever ask for, and they’re also highly sensitive. You knew this going into the relationship and actually took a little time to research what it even means to be a HSP. You discovered some very interesting things about them but nothing prepared you for actually how to treat them or love them. Loving a HSP isn’t like loving anyone else. It’s not like you can just give them a love punch on the shoulder and a thumbs up and carry on your day like nothing happened. That would never happen actually.
Here is a small list of things you should know if you love a highly sensitive person or have just fallen in love with one. The HSP isn’t impossible to love, just different.
If you don’t have any, get some. If you don’t think you can ever be patient, this isn’t the person for you. You will be required to be very patient as they go through troubled times that are caused by nothing other than their own sensitivity. They feel everything 100 times more than the average person. What you think is nothing, is huge and tragic to them. Be patient while they go through this.
2. Be sympathetic.
You will need to be on high to rub backs, give hugs, caress hair and cheeks or whatever works to calm them down and show them you care and love them and th at though you don ‘ t exactly understand what they are going through, you are there for them, regardless. Because they feel things a lot, they may be sad more (or maybe even happier more). They may need an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Just be that person.
3. You don’t have to understand.
It’s ok. They get that you might not understand. As long as you are patient and loving and supportive, is all that will really matter to them anyway, really. Sometimes they really do wish people would understand them but they appreciate the fact that very few will. If you don’t understand them, don’t feel bad. Just love and support them. Let them know you are there for them.
4. Support them no matter what.
At times, their emotions aren’t really justified. They are just sad or happy or whatever they are feeling at the time. These emotions could h ave been brought on by a leaf falling on the ground or a dog greeting them with a happy little bark. It really could have been anything. Just support whatever emotion they are going through at the time. Don’t question it, just go with it.
5. Free space.
They like their time to connect with themselves, be alone, or just be quiet or sad. They need their time. Sometimes it helps them reassess what’s going on and they can get a clearer picture of it and realize that their emotions just might be in slight overreact mode. Give them their space. Let them be. Again, don’t question it.
6. Be gentle and soft.
The HSP will generally not get involved with anyone who is loud and obnoxious or boisterous. But being extra soft and gentle sure will win you some brownie points. Any kind of yelling or aggressive traits or actions will send them into a tailspin of emotions and quite possibly send them to tears. Watch your tone and your mannerisms. You can be sure they will be taking note of them as well.
7. Try not to argue.
Ever. Avoid arguments at all costs actually if you can. Any sort of conflict or arguing will upset them, for hours, days even and could even cause anxiety. They don’t ever want to argue. They want to talk things out and they want you to know how they feel and they really want to know how you feel and how things can be resolved. Arguing will not contribute to their plan at all and will only cause much unwanted and unneeded upset. Just talk it out.
If you happen to hook up with a HSP consider yourself fortunate to have found someone who is extremely patient, gentle, loving and kind. Handling them may not be easy and may come with a bit of frustration but you won’t love a more honest, loving and loyal person than the HSP.