Addiction comes in many forms, not just chemicals and alcohol but we can also become addicted to people too. This may sound ridiculous to some but unfortunately, it’s a sad and real truth. Co dependency is a very serious and toxic behaviour but if you know someone who shows signs of this, understand that they may not be aware of their addiction or they are and feel that can’t help themselves.
Contrary to what we all think, not all addictions are bad. Being addicted to the smell of fresh brewing coffee or flowers is a fun and wonderful addiction. However, keep in mind that the majority of addictions definitely are toxic, and being addicted to your partner is no different or less toxic. It is still an addiction that should be and can be helped. So how can we tell if we or someone close to us is addicted their partners? Here are a few signs; see if you recognize any of them.
1. Separation anxiety.
If they have to go out of town for a day, weekend or heaven forbid longer than a week and you feel a very sickening feeling of anxiety, you could be addicted to your partner. Many of us don’t like to be away from our partners, obviously because we love them and we would miss them but when the feeling is much more than that and it borderlines on physical illness, then something is not right. Could be you are addicted and the feeling of not being around them causes great separation anxiety.
2. Joined at the hip.
You need to be with them every minute and every hour of the day when they are at home. There is a sense of security for you knowing that they are right there beside you. It’s almost like a blanket for you. A comfort blanket. But it’s more than that. You need to have that blanket around you all the time. You feel lost, empty and naked without it.
3. You start picking up all their habits and traits.
I get that it’s pretty common to pick up some of your partner’s traits and habits the longer we have been with them, but there is a fine line between picking them up without even realizing it and picking them up because you want to be like them. You may adore them and the ground they walk on but being like them or wanting to desperately be like them is not a healthy thing. Be like you instead. No body does it better.
4. Spend money on them to keep them around.
Yes, you are buying their love. Many people do this. actually so many people that it’s more common than not. When we start spending all our money on them to keep them around, you are now paying for an addiction, for love, for company. If someone wants to be with you, you shouldn’t have to be paying for their attention or love. For some, doing this is their attempt at buying companionship so they aren’t alone.
5. Constantly seeking approval from them.
You need their approval for everything. Suddenly it seems you can’t make a decision without their approval or their final say. You have slipped into a zone where your self confidence has plummeted to an all time low and need constant approval and reassurance from your partner for everything. You lack enough confidence in yourself and feel that if you have their approval for everything that they will love you more, respect you more or want to be with you more. All of that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
6. You’ll do anything to keep them.
Anything. Lie, cheat, borrow, beg, steal, pay, whatever. You are so fearful of losing them that you will even jeopardize your values, integrity and self worth to keep them. It’s that whole being alone is a scary thing that has you doing just about anything so as to not be alone. Too often, many of us do this, just about anything, to keep a partner. That is partner addiction and not a good one at all.
Being addicted to your partner is never a good thing. so many of us lack self worth so we seek it in others. You must find it and grow it in yourself first. Having someone to love and love us back is a beautiful thing but not at the expense of your self. Take the time necessary to find out who you are and love yourself first. The rest will fall into place nicely.