6 Surprising Reasons Why You Might Seek a Dominant Partner

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Yes. Some people actually prefer dominant partners. (We're not talking about the chains and bondage kind of dominance, unless of course you are into that as well. Whatever floats your boat). Someone who rules the roost, controls the gang, and makes all the decisions. I'm not sure I could live like that but for some, it's what works for them. It's a simpler life. Some people don't even realize they are attracting dominant partners. It just happens. Personality plays a huge role in this. Depending on how you were raised, yes part of this goes back to your childhood, it might be the only life you know and are perfectly comfortable with it.

Are you one of the rare breeds who seek domination? Your friends and family are constantly baffled by your decision to choose dominant partners. Here's a few things they might not know and quite possibly some reasons you might not be aware of as to why this is a pattern and a preference.

dominant_partner1. You're simply not a good decision maker and prefer to be with someone who does all that for you.

You recognize that in yourself and you know your life would be so much simpler if you didn't have to make any decisions, ever. Because of this, you seek partners who take the lead and decide on the what, when, where, who and who and that suits you just fine.

2. You're actually turned on by people in power.

You think this is a beautiful and sexy character trait and you are drawn to them like a magnet. These partners hold their head high in cockiness, I mean confidence, and you admire that. It's a feeling of being with someone in power that turns you on and draws you in.

3. Nice boys are boring. (or girls)

You don't want someone to sit at the park bench with and feed pigeons. You want someone who has a daring and exciting side to them. Someone who isn't afraid of taking challenges and showing you a super good time and someone who is always up for flicking fear, taking the bull by the horns and living life, with you hanging on for dear life. That's the partner you want.

4. And speaking of nice boys/versus bad boys (and for this example we will use men) women are simply drawn to that

…cigarette smoking, whiskey drinking, scruffy and tattooed up guy and most of these guys are pretty dominant. That's not judging or stereotyping, that's fact. You are attracted to this type of dominant man because it allows you to slip into the damsel in distress role which many women secretly have.

5. You really just want someone to take care of you in every way, shape and form because it just makes life easier for you.

Being with someone dominant means you can pretty much just flow through life, not having to decide things, have things, many things, already done for you.

6. It really can stem from childhood.

It's all you know; it's how you were raised. Dad was dominant, or mom was. It's a lifestyle that is normal to you and without even realizing it, you attract that in a partner. Your submissiveness is quite apparent and dominant people can recognize it. This is who you are and it's a pattern that you see within your own family and, it works fine.

Not to be mistaken with abuse, dominance can be a very admirable trait, provided the person who holds this trait is not obnoxious or violent. It's also not to say that dominant people can't be loving and affectionate. On the contrary, they can be very loving and caring which adds to their dominance. They want to make sure absolutely nothing bad happens to you, that's how much they love you. But there's a fine line between dominance and abuse. Try to recognize it. If you are being dominated against your will, you are being abused. Get help if you can or speak to someone who can help you.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.