Relationships

5 Things You Must Do Before You Look for Love Again.

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Written by Iva Ursano

Ah, we all love being in love, yes? Who doesn’t? How we love to have that warm fuzzy feeling when you have that special someone  bring you flowers, open the car door for you, leave cute little post-it notes on the coffee maker for you.  Yes, love is bliss. With it, also comes that beautiful “I’m in love” glow that all your friends are so jealous of. You have a skip in your step, butterflies in your tummy and life is just so damn good. You wish you had that. That love. You’d do almost anything to have it, wouldn’t you?

Not so fast, sunshine.

That love will come at a very high price if you don’t have this one very crucial thing.

SELF LOVE! Yup, I said it. Self-love.

Do you have a history of attracting losers and cheaters and control freaks? Are you constantly attracting the wrong kind of guy? I’m going out on a limb here and assume that if you are reading this article then you answered yes to those questions. Do you ever wonder why this keeps happening to you? The answer is simple. You don’t love yourself enough yet. I know, I know, this sounds mean, but you have no idea how true it is.

When we don’t hold our values as high as they should be and our boundaries are weak, we allow less than desirable partners into our lives. Why? Because we want love so bad we’ll do just about anything, right?  Even settle for the wrong kind of partner. But what kind of love do you want? Don’t you want that happy, trusting, butterflies in your tummy kinda love? That faithful, beautiful, warm love? You know the kind. The kind that gives you a skip in your step.  The kind that makes you feel like the  most  beautiful,  most  loved,  most  adored and  most  important person in the whole wide world.

So how do we love ourselves first? There’s no magic pill here, no quick fix. This might take a bit of time. How much time depends on you and how fast it takes you to realize that you are awesome!!

  • The first thing you need to do is believe that: you  ARE  beautiful,  you  ARE  wonderful,  you  ARE  important, and  YOU  are the most special and magnificent person in the whole wide world. Yup, you sure are. Tell yourself this daily. Hourly if you have to. Say it. Mean it. Feel it. Believe it.
  • Make a list of what you want and what you don’t want. Do NOT compromise the *don’t want* part of this list.
  • Set boundaries. This will help you become a stronger person when you do this and stick to it!
  • Look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are and how much you love yourself. I do this all the time. Honest I do. ♥
  • Know what your values are and don’t sacrifice them for anyone, ever.

When you love yourself so much, you will soon feel happy and confident and with that, you will attract men that see this confidence and beauty inside of you. These men will treat you with respect, admire you and won’t try to take that away from you. These are confident happy men that want the same in their woman.

If there is something about yourself that you don’t love, then change it! Change it now! The longer you wait to do that, the more losers you will attract. It’s a vicious cycle, really. Stop the cycle. You have the power in you to do that. Oh yes you do!! Trust me on this one.

Geez Iva, can you be any more beautiful today? ♥

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About the author

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Iva Ursano

Iva is a freelance writer, blogger and author from Sudbury, Ontario, Canada. Her first book "The Shear Truth" is a funny and informative book that covers her 20 year career as a hairstylist. A lifetime of professional and personal challenges has ignited a passion in her to help people face their fears, chase their dreams and live ridiculously happy lives. Join her on Facebook here for daily inspiration or go to her website ivaursano.com and follow her blog. While you're there, why not sign up for her monthly musings and receive the free guide "21 days to a New You".