5 Steps to Meeting Your Perfect Partner

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Attracting your ideal partner

Okay, you have sown your wild oats, done the single life, bought the t-shirt in fact you bought the whole outfit. Then comes a thought in the back of your mind, a slow burning thought that gathers momentum: "˜I think it's time to settle down'. You might have been thinking it for a while and it's finally came to a head. You are not enjoying all those nights out as much, you'd rather sit in with a good book or a decent film, and you look at couples in love and envy them. This is the little "˜settle down' voice.


The settle down voice

This is not a sudden voice in your head, it is a gradual one and one that is hard to ignore. It points out couples who are in love, it points out cute little babies in prams, it points out how lonely you are in bed (even if there is someone lying next to you), it makes you aware of romantic comedies', in fact everything that involves loving couples and it will show you.

Yes, you try to ignore this little voice but it gets louder and louder and then you know it's time to listen and the little voice has convinced you that you want a partner. Someone to settle down with.

However, the little voice buggers off as soon as you start looking for your ideal partner. You look everywhere; in the workplace, in the pubs and clubs, you look at passers by in the street, and you still don't find them. What do you do to find your perfect partner?

Finding the perfect man or woman

First things first; there is no perfect man or woman. The quicker you realise this the better. However, there is such a thing as the perfect man or woman for you, which is a big difference.

Many people searching for their ideal partner assign certain characteristics their partner must have, and if they don't have all of them then they are not the right person for the job. This is where the law of attraction stops working for you.

The 5 steps to finding your ideal partner

  1. Know the type of person you would like to meet
    You have to know the type of person you want before you can meet them. If you don't know the type of partner you want, how are you going to recognise them? The first thing to do is assign the attributes you admire in a partner. Think of all the people you know and take some of the attributes you like and write them all down.

  2. Visualise them in your mind
    Once you have written down all the attributes you like, have an image in you head of your partner, their size, their rough looks, their personality, their sense of humour. Everything you want in you partner, try and visualize them and how the attributes you have written down play out in different scenarios e.g. how do they act in front of your friends, how do they treat you when you are out to dinner, how they act when they are with their friends.

  3. Let go!
    Let go of the thought of ever meeting your ideal partner. This may sound like a contradiction but it is very important. I am not saying stop visualizing them, as this is important, but let go of the outcome. By letting go of the outcome, you step back and trust another force to act on your behalf.

This is how I met my wife. I had been looking for the ideal partner for years and had visualised her, and her attributes. I remember vividly the day I let go of the outcome. It was July 19th 2002. I used to look out for her everywhere, and was disappointed when she had not met me yet. Then one day I was walking along Argyle Street in Glasgow and literally said to myself "I am going to stop looking for her, I am relatively happy being a bachelor, and if that's my lot in life, I'll learn to make the most of it…"  , I still had the image of her in my head, but I let go and stopped looking for her. After work that day, I was persuaded to go to a 40th birthday party.  I was walking along the street with two friends who practically pulled me into the pub for a drink, as I had been saying all week I wasn't going to attend. That night, I met my future wife at that party. I have now been married for 9 and half years and I love her more than ever and our two  sons.

  1. Trust
    Trust that you will meet them. You will meet them; it might take time, but trust that it will happen. When you trust it will happen you will not be as lonely. Knowing that something will happen is a relief, there is no pressure and you can go about your normal daily routine happy in the knowledge that there are a few cupids looking out for you.
  2. Be aware of little serendipitous moments
    Look out for hidden messages. Although you have to trust that, your partner will appear you still need to look out for hidden messages in other areas of your life. If you get a strong sense that you should attend a party, even though you can't be bothered, go to it. If you get a strong urge to go into town early one morning, go. If you feel a strong urge for a coffee and you see a starbucks, go buy a coffee. You ideal partner is waiting for as also. I wish you well and hope you meet your partner soon.

Do you have a story how you met your partner by coincidence, why not share it here.


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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.