You love to hang out with John. He’s a barrel of laughs. Always in good humour with a great joke or story to tell. Mary is also tons of fun to be around. Making people laugh all the time and always has something nice to say about the way you look. They are fun, you love hanging with them and it’s always a good time to be around them. But. All they want to do is drink and drink and drink. It’s a party all the time. That’s so not your scene anymore. maybe when you were in college but that was 20 y ears ago.
Then there’s the friend you’ve had since high school, who still has the high school mentality. Gossip, bitch, talk like a valley girl and act like a 15-year-old. that’s fine but we’re not 15 anymore. For some reason or other, you’re just not feeling your friends anymore but you can’t possibly dump them. Or can you? Remember you are the sum of 5 of the people you hang around the most. Let that sink in a bit.
Here are 5 signs you may have outgrown them and, yes, it’s ok to dump them, in fact, it’s necessary.
1. You’re 40, they are still 16.
Some of us grow up, some of us just don’t. We want to hang on to our high school friends because it preserves a piece of our youth. Stop thinking like that. Reflect on your youth in a healthier and happier way, not through your friends who haven’t grown up. Their mentality will hold you back. We want to move forward and progress, not stagnate back in time.
2. Cry me a river.
All the time. Your friend Debbie has suddenly turned into Debbie Downer. There was a time when the two of you used to have bitch fests. Whine complain and moan about everybody and everything, but you’re not there anymore. You’re not that person. You have grown, she hasn’t. Doesn’t look like she will anytime soon either. You can’t help her; she has to help herself. Time to move on.
3. You’re more interested in success.
They are perfectly content in their miserable day jobs that they constantly complain about. You are looking ahead at other options and improving your life. They are restricting your growth with their toxicity. If they don’t want to discuss options for growth and thinking outside the 9-5 box, then it’s time to let go. They will hold you back.
4. Family is on your mind.
You have commitments, family, home, work, etc., they are still single and living the bachelor/ette life. They want you to come out and party all the time or at least once a week. You’re just not there anymore. You no longer have anything in common except memories from college days. It might be time to say goodbye.
5. You are on a different journey.
A totally different journey. As we grow and age, many of us open to new ideas and thought patterns. Some of us just don’t. You are on a spiritual quest, your friend thinks you’re nuts and absolutely doesn’t understand. There is no common ground there anymore.
It’s ok to let go of friends we have outgrown. Many of us don’t want to and hang on to them out of guilt. We don’t want to hurt them and we certainly don’t want them to think that we think we are better than them. It’s not about that. Not at all. It’s about growing and progressing and wanting people around you that are like minded. You don’t have to completely kick your friends to the curb. Maybe just not hang with them as much anymore. Remember, you are growing, they are not. You will eventually get to a point where there is no longer any satisfaction or joy in hanging around them anymore. You’ll know when you get there and when you do, it’s time to move on.