You think you and your partner are going to make it to the next month, next year, next decade even? Are you struggling to hold things together as it is? Yes, of course you guys love each other, but we all know, sometimes love just ain't enough. What else is binding you two together? The better question might be though, how long are you going to hang onto a relationship that you know is unhealthy?
We never seem to know what constitutes an unhealthy relationship. What things are acceptable, what aren't. We are never really sure. Most of the time it depends on what sort of environment we grew up in. That seems to determines what we know and what we expect. Here is a small list of the things you should be watching for that constitute an unhealthy relationship. If you recognize any of these signs you should discuss it with your partner right away and hopefully try to work things out.
There is no place in any relationship for jealousy. Jealousy means insecurity and can lead to unwanted or undeserved resentment. Deal with it and let it go. Dig deep within yourself to find out why you are jealous. It stems from something. Find out what that is.
2. You are not sexually attracted to each other anymore, or have any desire to be intimate, yet you look at other people of the opposite sex with great interest.
What did yo u and your partner lose as far as intimacy goes and when did you lose it? Can it be retrieved? If you are both completely happy and in love with no sex then that's great too but if you aren't having sex with each other but are thinking about it, maybe with other people, that's a sign of something.
3. You can't wait to get away for some alone time.
Alone time is important no matter what kind of relationship you are in or who you are but when you actually check your watch for the time you know you are going to be alone, then there's a problem. Why are you in such a hurry to get away from your partner? Is there something they are doing constantly that is annoying you? Maybe it's time to discuss that.
4. Name calling.
There is absolutely no reason anybody should be calling anyone any names and if this is happening and has been for some time now, either get a grip of the situation and make it stop or get the heck out. This is a clear example of lack of respect for the person. Are you with an immature high school kid or in a mature loving union?
5. Too much fighting.
Are you fighting more than you are actually discussing things in a calm and mature fashion? Is the fight from last month still going on today and expected to continue into tomorrow? Sometimes we need a professional to come in and have a look at t he way we handle situations and to learn how to have a healthy argument. It might be that time. Nobody wants to fight all the time. We want love not war.
6. Fake or forced love.
You love your partner but not like you used to. I mean the love is still there but if you two broke up tomorrow you would be happy. You go through the motions daily. Like a robot with little to no feelings or emotions. If this is you, then it's time to pack it in. this is no way for anyone to live. Unless you can ignite the spark again, I'd say it's time to move on.
Nobody said relationships are easy 100% of the time but they don't need to be completely unhealthy either. A good dose of love, mutual respect and open and clear communication can make for a good relationship. Both parties have to be willing to see and do this. Remember, nothing really good comes easy. Sometimes we have to put a little effort into it, but if the effort becomes too much to bear or more of a job, then it's not the right thing for you anymore.
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