It's not always necessary to be the social butterfly of the crowd nor do you have to shine like the brightest star in the sky to get anyone's attention , if attention is what you are seeking. However, with that said, there are times when we need to be noticed or recognized for some reason, usually to get ahead in our career or social path.
So what does it take to get a little bit of love from social settings? You've worn your best suit, whitened your teeth, and took lessons for self-confidence all to no avail. What next? These tips may help you shine like the star you want to be.
People love to be addressed by their first name. It makes them feel special. When you first meet someone say their name repeatedly during conversation. This helps in two ways. 1) You won't forget their name and 2) they will pay more attention to you because you show you have a genuine interest in them.
2. Look at me!
Eye contact is great in any situation. When you look at someone and flash a genuine smile, they will be drawn to you and want to know more about you. When we make direct eye contact and hold the gaze for longer than 2 seconds, people will take notice. They won't forget your eyes, your face or that brilliant smile.
3. You're in my space.
We all have an area of about 3 feet of personal space. It's where our aura sits comfortably. Please don't stand any closer than that to someone you are in a conversation with, unless of course you're whispering. People may be uncomfortable if you get in their space. Respect the boundaries and they will love you.
4. Show some emotion.
We engage in stories that have emotion and keep us hanging on every word. We want more. Make your story interesting and exciting. If you are dull, monotone and boring, well, they will lose interest, very quickly and they will do their best to avoid you at future events.
5. Nod and smile.
Of course, only if it's a happy'ish kind of story. Show that you are totally interested and loving the conversation. If you are looking all around the room while someone is talking to you they are eventually going to catch on that you aren't that interested and not very sincere.
6. You mean business.
But not in the business sort of way. Fold your arms across your chest. Though you think this indicates a "back off" attitude on the contrary, it also can mean I'm pretty comfortable with you and this is a great convo. Your energy will be stronger than your position and people will get it.
7. What about you?
People love to talk about themselves. Ask questions of interest that make them happy you have asked. Family, hobbies, latest vacations. You sincerely want to know more about this person. Show them you care, even a little.
8. Confidence is far more beautiful than cockiness.
Don't pretend to be someone you're not. People will see right through that. Be you and stand tall in confidence. Try not to go on about something you know nothing about. If you only have a little self-confidence, show it off anyway. They don't know how much you have, they see what you show and that draws attention.
9. Stay calm cool and collected.
It shows grace, poise, and maturity and displays a warmth that will naturally draw people to you. They will be lured closer to you because of the vibration you are sending out which is, "hi, you can come talk to me, it's safe".
10. Find the leader of the pack.
You will see who people are gathered around and drawn to. Find that person and go talk to them. Show them your confidence and let them know you are on the same playing field. They will respect and admire yo u for that and others will see that too.
11. Spit your gum out please.
Silly as it may sound, gum chewing can sometimes be obnoxious or annoying to others. When we chew gum, we often forgot the manner in which we chew and it can end up like you looking like a cow chewing her cud. You get the idea. Get rid of the gum before you enter the building.
12. Ya like sure whatever bff huh … .
Watch the slang and speak like you have a good grasp on the English language as an adult, not a high school dropout. If you are just meeting people for the first time you don't want to sound like you are texting your bff. Try to be mature and well spoken.
13. Step away from the phone.
Right now, immediately. I am constantly irritated by people who pull out their phones in the middle of a dinner or a conversation. It's absolutely rude. Unless you are using your phone to enter their contact information or set a date with them on the calendar your phone should stay either in the car or your pocket. Period.
This is a small list and I could go on and on about tips to rocking your next social gathering but these ones probably come in at the top and should be practiced. If you have a hard time in social settings, start small and work your way up as you get more comfortable.