Psychology

29 Ways to increase your feeling of self worth

Boost_Self_Love
Written by Steven Aitchison

Having self worth comes from within and can easily be harnessed. Here are 29 ways to increase your feeling of self worth.

Self worth comes from within, you won’t find it by having more money, having more friends, having a fancy car or a big house.  It is something intrinsic and something we can’t gain extrinsically, meaning we won’t find self worth from external factors.  Here are some things you can do to increase your feeling of self worth.

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29 Ways to increase your feeling of self worth

 

  1. Write down 7 minor goals for the week and tick one off each day as you achieve it.
  2. Read a book a month.  Reading a book is actually an achievement in this technology and media  driven world and reading a full book is a great way to achieve a sense of accomplishment.
  3. At the end of each day before falling asleep write down something you feel proud about, either on the day or in the past.
  4. Tell someone else how much you appreciate them, being able to be open and honest is great for self worth.
  5. Say no! Learn the skill of saying no without offending the person asking.
  6. Everything you do, do to the best of your ability even if it cleaning the toilets or something equally as mundane, develop a reputation as someone who takes pride in their work.
  7. Walk tall and proud.  walk as if you’ve got somewhere to go and you need to be there now, never run just walk tall and quickly.
  8. Dress as smart as you can for each occasion, whether it be work, meeting a friend, or going for an interview.  Take pride in your appearance.
  9. Do something for yourself every day.
  10. Learn a new skill or take up something you’ve always wanted to and stick with it.
  11. Speak up for yourself in every area of your life, this might be hard to do at first but the first time you do it will be immense and if you carry on your self esteem and feelings of self worth will soar.
  12. Sing at the top of your voice, not outside but in the house and really give it loads (I love singing Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at the top of my voice, ah! such a good feeling.)
  13. Forgive yourself! (You know what I mean)
  14. Get rid of the people who are dragging you down (I don’t mean kill them, I mean just stop having them in your life.)
  15. Work on your strengths.  A lot of people focus on building up their weaknesses, instead get better at what you are good at.
  16. Take a walk in the rain………..Why?………..because you have the power to decide!
  17. Listen to other people and what they are saying.
  18. Reward your successes. As soon as you achieve something reward yourself.
  19. Never let anyone force you to break your core values.
  20. Stop the gossiping!
  21. Don’t read a newspaper for a week and gauge how you feel about yourself and the world around you.
  22. Help other people who need it.
  23. Always, Always, Always be honest with yourself and others.  There is no need for lies and the energy it takes to continue a lie is unbelievable.
  24. Take a chance and take a risk or two.  You don’t have long to live so just get up and do it.
  25. Listen to your self talk and slap the little person criticising you, I mean it, imagine there are two people one on each shoulder, the one who criticises you give them a slap or a punch in the mouth and start to pay attention to the one who is praising you.
  26. Don’t be afraid to accept help from other people, it means they respect you enough to help you with something.
  27. Start changing your thinking to be more optimistic about yourself, instead of ‘…I can’t do that….’ say ‘..I’ve never tried it, but I’ll give it a go…’
  28. Face your fears.  Nothing will send your self esteem soaring more so than facing your fears and eventually conquering them.
  29. Always leave comments on a blog you like :)

 

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

I am the creator of Change Your Thoughts (CYT) blog and love writing and speaking about personal development, it truly is my passion. There are over 500 articles on this site from myself and some great guest posters.
If you want to learn more about my products you can check out Steven Aitchison's Products or check out my books and Kindle books on Amazon

98 Comments

  • Thanks for this, I’ve really been struggling lately, these steps feel like a good place to start making a change I really need!

  • Hi all,
    another way to set your true value is to ask people in your environment (family, friends, colleagues, others…) to give feedback about your pros and cons. You will learn a few things you did not expected they really like others. On the other hand you will have also feedback on what things you can improve. There are several ways to put this feedback on track. Normally, somebody would prepare a sheet (maybe you want to ask for specific feedback as well) and mail chosen people.
    Brgrds!

  • Thnx for these tips… they’re really great, i’ll try to follow them and i hope this will help me build up my self confidence……..

  • Thank you for this great list of ideas. I feel like in life we get tests, and if we don’t pass it the first time it keeps showing up in different forms until we open our eyes. This blog post is greatly appreciated and I will coming back to it as a resource.

  • thanks a bunch for all this awesome info!!!! i am happily going to pass this along in a speech for my class!!!

  • I feel like I live only for the people I know, I’m not sure if that means I have low self-worth. Your tips here are great, and some of them made me feel good. But I still feel the same, although I do many if not all of them often. So I guess I just have to wait for the good of life. :)

  • Some good points thanks. About being honest all the time to all people, I have and still am, though it creates problems. Through being honest I have lost two daughters and my half of a business, in the Philippines. I will never see my daughters again, for if I go back to this country I will be killed. By being honest, I have upset many peoples pride and they will take their revenge if I go back.

    In the UK during a high court case involving my son and his Filipina mother, I was again 100% honest, never broke a court order, while the mother lied and broke court orders, needless to say I lost this case. Afterwards my lawyer told me that the courts are not about the truth. In reality the Royal Courts of Justice are the Royal Courts of Control.

    The person dragging me down, is the mother of my son and I am now forced to live with her, if I want him in my life, if not she will take him back to the Philippines.

    I will not change who I am, and will continue being honest.

    In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. George Orwell

  • This is great advice. the only that is holding me back right now is actually taking all these points into action. I’ve read a number of self motivating websites but still..i’m here..damn! i really need to do something about myself. but then again, thank you!

  • i damn agree.trying to face my fears is the reality i cant run away from.and dressing sharp will mek u feel cool n hence confident.this a nice article .tanx alot

  • well about getting rid of the person that seems to make u feel under,how do u do that when the person is someone you have to see everyday like your boss,roomm.ate, family relative etc

  • That a lot of good points there. really enjoyed reading this. I hope to follow some points listed down here.

  • I really love going through this page Sir, and this has really inspired me a lot. Sometime, no matter how good I think I am I always lost confident in myself, there is always that doubt in me that I can’t go through,even when I think my thought are genuine, this has been a negative impact me. Going through this page i think I have learnt a little bit. my question is, how will I do away with those thought and move forward?.

    My email is esedivine@hotmail.co.uk I need a reply. Thank you.

  • Fantastic article… Its exactly one need to increase their self worth.
    I have been going through many articles over internet and this one is by far the best I came across. Self worth is one of the most important factors for one’s success and happiness. Never let your self down and always work on being the better you…

    Great work Steven…

  • Hi,

    Thank you for this article, it makes such good sense. I love all of the points especially No. 28 facing your fears. I have recently had to deal with gaining several scars on both arms and hand. Facing my fears would be going out without a long sleeved top covering them. I’m scared of people looking and asking how I got them. My beautiful golden retriever who I had for 7 years and has never growled at anyone attacked me in front of my 2 children. So I do indeed need to forgive and face my fears.

  • a truely inspiring article….. self worth is the most imp ingredient to make any succesfiul, contended and a happy man…… above tips are a much help….. :)

  • very nice blog….

    i like it vry much…..

    i make this usefull in my daily rutin life & it gives me lots of strengh in my ife……

  • I have been dealing with depression due to depression and self-pity because of my appearance and repeated rejection. Thank you for this post because while I was reading it, I see some sense on the list and right now, I am planning to put it into action.

  • I really like your blog mate! You really understood what is the most important in life. Once i understood and i thank to God for this. I wanted to express my opinion about this blog and by the way start doing what you say in the list above. I mean point 29. Good luck!

  • Excellent piece Steve.

    I have been showing signs of depression especially a constant feeling of worthlessness. I am no longer certain if anyone in this whole world loves me and truly cares about me. I am no longer sure if my boyfriend still loves me and thinks me special. I find it extremely hard to concentrate in class. I am losing my ability to retain what my professor says the minute its out of his mouth. I just feel like wood set adrift. I will go by what you have written and get rid of self-destroying people and thoughts. I really hope I snap out of this. Thank you Steve.

  • Nice list! I would add a daily practice of doing at least one thing that scares you. It’s partly covered in 28 (face your fears), but I believe that it’s important to make it a daily habit. The more you expand your comfort zone, the higher your self-esteem is!

  • I have had a problem personally over the past few weeks and its just now that I realized that there was a problem. My first search for answers led me here and wouldn’t you know it it was a perfect post for my long week of professional and personal dilemma. In any case, Here’s for #29.

    Great job and highly recommended.

  • Very eye opening ways to increase our sense of self worth and makes us realise to appreciate those who helps us as they realise our sense of self worth.

  • the tips are excellent ….I am going to practice and post the feedback, Things which look simple are the ones where a strong discipline will be expected to be successful.

    Wish me all the best on my journey…..

  • IT HAS BEEN YEARS SINCE I KNEW WAT MY WORTH WAS!!! I LOVE THIS BLOG BECAUSE THE IDEAS ARE AMAZING AND I AM VERY OPTOMISTIC THEY WILL WORK….. THANK U!!!

  • gr8! Am gonna try 2 practise n internalise dis ideas!4 me d 29 steps ar all germane in enhancing man’s self worth.thnx!

  • Great post, I am hearby fulfilling step No. 29 :)

    But seriously, very heartfelt and empowering, keep it up! :D

  • how do i get self worth, i have no job have been looking over 1 year and getting harder everyday/taught to save money therefore how do i justify going to church/ballroom dance if i don’t have money/i also need others approval/need to hear people say the like me not just assume it/how do i get over my negative thinking etc

  • I appreciate this article as it is timely for my situation. I love that when it happens. I thank you for sharing your wisdom.

  • Very thought provocting, I just love this blog, so very glad I found you!You have helped me alot with your postings

  • Just read through your steps and had a real chuckle at some of them . Thankyou , i suffer low self worth and everyday lately has been tough. I am always looking for the answer to my woes and worrys even though i know deep down that the answers are all inside of me already , its just so hard sometimes to quieten the negative chatter . But thankyou so much for the tip to punch my negative voice in the nose , i like that image .

    Thanks again
    Moppie xx

  • Start changing your thinking to be more optimistic about yourself, instead of ‘…I can’t do that….’ say ‘..I’ve never tried it, but I’ll give it a go…’
    —- Yes, I’m Chinese, I’v never tried to leave a comment for a English blog because I’m not good at English, but today I’ll give it a go. Thanks, Steven.
    .-= Yu Yuanhong´s last blog ..Threadless Tshirt Giveaway at jaypeeonline.net =-.

  • Hello Steve,
    I am following you for a while on Twitter and I do like what I read.
    So I am leaving a positive note on this blog.
    Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us.
    We all know them but it is nice to read them and say: Oh yes!
    From Rotterdam in the Netherlands

  • oh this is such a practical way of building self esteem and the best part about it is it can be part of us every single day….i am so happy that i got a mail when i was browsing through some of the positive attitude sites…i totally vouch for such lovely articles which help you and guide you to lead a better life…keep it up and see i also followed up immediately by commenting what i like…ha ha :-)

  • I feel that most of the items in the list, if not all, are directed at boosting one’s extrinsic factors (that’s why they start with “Do …”) Self worth needs to be intrinsic, as you pointed out. Then we should be able to establish our worth without “Do …”. Some children can display an incredible degree of self worth without doing any of the items in your list. How do they pull that off?

  • Most people have low self-confidence because of past events in their lives which led to that state of mind. This lack of self-confidence puts them in an endless cycle where they attract results they think of, and that reinforces their state of self-belief.

  • Oooo- What an awesome list!!
    These are great positive things that we can do- that we can take action on and improve ourselves and other people around us!
    Facing fears is the one thing essential to moving forward. Asking ourselves- “What could I do to make facing this less of a problem for me?”
    And then implementing what we can do to make things better and actually face the fears. Action breeds confidence and so just doing it will help us grow a lot.
    All the best,
    Eren

    Eren Mckay’s great blog post..And I Await (poem about hope in the midst of trials)

  • People are complex, so a self esteem change can be initiated by emphasizing the things that the person does feel they do well. That is, even people with low self esteem feel they do some things well, and those things should be emphasized while the other things that they want to change are allowed to drop away.

  • I’m new to this blog. I have subscribed to it because of a recommendation.
    This specific post is really great. I will try to implement the suggested steps, starting with #1. :)

  • The more one can boost their self esteem, the greater their chances are of achieving success. One of my favorite quotes is by Zig Ziglar and he says “”You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

  • Interesting and thought provoking. Number 19 hit home! It’s good to think – thank you.

  • Hi Steve,
    I am having such a hard time picking up the phone to call people about what I am doing? The strange thing is it’s not a business or anything for sale. It will help anyone who chooses to use it without costing them a dime.
    Any suggestions on how to overcome phone fear?
    Janette

    • Hi, I was thinking about your post and I have some suggestions for you.
      1.) do something to boost your self esteem up before you go to use the phone.
      2.) walk around when talking it helps the anxiety level go down.
      3.) take a shower,get dressed as if you were going out on a date,something you look good in,this will help your self esteem go up and give you more confidence on the phone.
      4.) stand in front of a mirror it will help you to express what you are trying to say, it helps to see yourself in action, this will help to have more control over the conversation.
      5.) figure out a way to distract yourself but not to the point you forget what you called for in the first place.
      6.) make a note of what you want to say before you call but don’t write the script because it will sound like your reading a sentence and you want to sound natural (watch your facial expressions in your mirror).
      7.) try not to think about it so much! you could talk yourself out of wanting to use the phone and create more fear than needed.
      8.) make a list of 10 good qualities you see in yourself .in the mornings lie in bed and close your eyes, start with #1 try to visualize your self on the phone using this good quality that you have within yourself, get a good mental picture of you using this to your advantage at the same time sense your surroundings, is their a certain sent around you? whats in the back ground noises? and get comfortable with using it. every morning do a different number on your list until your using the whole list of 10 together.
      9.) practice, in no time you will pick up the phone like you have been doing it for years, don’t practice and build your fears more. just start making the calls that need to be made.i am sure you’ll do great!
      i too use to be scared of making phone calls, along the way i looked for tools to help and thought i would share some with you. GOOD LUCK:)

  • #9 anf #22 I feel are very important, you have to feel good inside to get the best out of yourself and the world around you.

    Do something for yourself, something nice, have some time, it will be worth the effort, you can change your whole outlook on life, then with your new outlook, find others that you could help, brighten their day, probably wont take much, and in return you will receive a huge emotional boost knowing that you have made the effort to improve someone elses life.

    This is like a snowball effect [ is it snowball or avalanche effect, I never know ] the more you do the better it gets.

  • Hi Steve, nice list. What an amazing coincidence, my June 1 newsletter (went out yesterday) was called “The Perception of Self-Worth.” It’s an issue that many people struggle with and I am sure this list includes something for everyone. Two of my top picks are #13 and #22, both are incredibly powerful. Thanks for this.

    Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills’s great blog post..Where Does Disappointment Come From?

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