Psychology

14 Little Thoughts That Can Shatter Your Dreams

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Updated 21st June 2021

Like a rough cut  diamond cutting through glass, your negative thoughts can penetrate your defences to leave broken shards of glass strewn across your mind.  These tiny little time bombs might not seem like a big deal now, but in time they grow, they fester and eventually shatter your dreams.

We all have negative thoughts that play on our mind day in and day out, but we have to catch them before they set in, and bury themselves in the deep recesses of your mind.

Looking Out At Sea

Take back control

There's so much stuff we can't control in our lives, and yet taking charge of our own thoughts is one of the easiest, with practice, things we can control.  So, it makes sense to take control of everything we can in order to start living the life we desire.

A lot of people I speak to say 'oh, it's impossible to stay positive all the time, it's just not realistic.'  Whilst it's not impossible, I am not advocating that the world is all unicorns and rainbows, but what I am suggesting is at least take some control back of our thoughts by being mindful of how we think, what we say, and how we act.   It all starts with your thoughts: your beliefs, your words, your actions, your habits, your values and eventually your destiny.

So here's a few of the worst culprits:

14 Little Thoughts That Can Shatter Your Dreams

1. I've had my heart broken too many times to love again

Surprisingly I hear this a lot from the readers on my Facebook page, and it just doesn't make sense.

You may have had your heart broken, but that means you weren't with the right person.  By learning just how much to open up emotionally to someone you learn more and more about yourself and exactly how much you are worth. You are worth so much more than you think, so stop giving people discounts, but don't give up on love.

When you learn to accept yourself for being the amazing person you are nobody will be able to break your heart. You will know instinctively when it is time to go your separate ways from someone, that includes friends, family and the people you love.

image of a heart in two pieces

2. I'm not good enough

Effectively what you're saying here is 'I can't be bothered to take the time and become good enough.'

That sounds a bit harsh, but think about it for a second, nobody was good enough until they put in the time and effort to become good enough.  This goes for everything in your life whether you want to write a book, become an actor, start a business, or raise a child.

You are good enough to be where you are right now. if you want to be in an elevated position in a specific area of your life, then you keep on working at it. You will find that when you get to the top of your specific area, there will always be a way to become better.

So, you ARE good enough, a better affirmation to use then would be "I am getting better at (insert your specific area here) e.g.

I am getting better at writing
I am getting better at loving myself
I am getting better at loving others
I am getting better at being a mum/dad/parent
I am getting better in my job

3. I don't have enough time to do that

image of a man with watch

Okay if we're being really honest here, you're really saying 'This is not important enough for me to give it my time.'  

I am terrible at sending out birthday cards on time and I always make the same excuse 'I'm just so busy with other stuff that it slipped my mind.' which is utter rubbish, I have everyone's birthday on my calendar in my kitchen, but I keep putting off getting that birthday card until the last minute.  So I am effectively saying your birthday is not as important as all the other stuff I have going on in my life, which is a selfish.  

So now if I ever miss a birthday I drive over to the person's house which can be 50 miles away and give them their card, which is just mental 🙂

You make time for what you prioritise, don't ever make the excuse of not having enough time as that is insulting to yourself and to the person you're making the excuse to.

4. I wasn't born with the talent to do that

Nobody is born knowing how to play the piano, or knowing how to play golf, or how to write.  Yes, some people have a natural aptitude for doing certain things, but they're not born with the knowledge.  

If you really want to do something in life which requires a degree of skill, and I mean really want it, you need to put in the effort to master that skill.

Do not think about how well you're doing or what the outcome is, keep working at your skill until you become unconscious competent (Four stages of competence)

5. I will put my dream on hold until I have done (insert something here)

Happiness concept, positive emotions, happy girl

If you're not living your own dreams you're helping someone else live theirs.  Your dreams are an important part of living life to the full and without them, you might just wake up on your 70th birthday and think 'Shit, I wish I had chased my dream, instead of working all those hours for someone else.'

Don't put off your dreams until something else happens e.g. I will go to university when the kids are grown (newsflash, your kids will always be kids until the day you die).

6. What if I fail

So what if you fail, at least you've have learned something along the way.  When you jump a net usually appears to support you.  Not doing something you want to do for fear of failure is failure itself.

Ask yourself this one question every time you think a thought like this:

What is the worst that can happen? When you have figured out what the worst is then you will probably see it's not actually that bad.

Now when you have figured out what the worst that can happen is, you now have to flip and ask: What's the best thing that can happen if I do this.

7.  It's too difficult

Nobody ever grows inside their comfort zone.  What that means is if it's not challenging then it's not worth having, you won't learn anything.  Imagine for a second if everything you wanted in life came to you easily: you wanted to become an Indie 500 driver, boom you got it, you wanted to write a best selling novel, boom you get it on your first try.  Pretty soon you would become bored with life and nothing would challenge you.  We need things to be difficult in order to appreciate the journey we took to reach our goals.

8. They were so lucky to get to where they are today

image of pot at the end of a rainbow

This is a biggie.  I used to think this a lot before I started my online business.  I would look at people like Eben Pagan, Frank Kern, Jeff Walker and my other online heroes and think 'Yeah but you started at a time when it was easy' or 'yeah but you've got the personality to pull that off' or other excuses for me not being able to become a success.  As soon as a realised just how hard these people worked to get to where they are today, I changed my whole way of thinking and got off my arse and worked harder until things started happening.

9. My life is shit

Please! Get off the 'poor me' train, and believe me I've been on that train many times in my life.  You have so much to be thankful for it's just not real.  you might say, you don't know my situation, and that's true, but whatever way you look at it you can always find a ton of reasons to be grateful for the life you have.

10. It's just not the right time

So many relationships, businesses, dreams, and goals have been broken with this one little thought.  There's never a good time to start anything.  The important thing is to start it with a good heart and keep going and give it your very best shot.

11. I'm too old

Eh! No you're not.

12. People don't like me

Sorry, you're not a mind reader, you can't possibly know if people like you or not.  This is all to do with feeling uncomfortable in your own skin.  Work on yourself so that you're so comfortable with yourself that you just don't care what others think of you, at least this way you're being true to yourself.

13. One lie is not that bad

image of woman looking sad

One lie leads to another to cover up the first one, and then it snowballs from there.  Practice being radically honest, if someone asks your opinion about something ask them first if they really want to know what you think, that way the people who really want the truth will value what you have to say.  Don't lie to cover up your embarrassment of a situation, come clean, take the consequences and move on, at least you'll gain some respect for being honest.

14. I wish I was intelligent enough

Big secret here: you're as intelligent as you believe you are.  If you believe you're a not intelligent then guess what, your brain looks for ways to prove you're not intelligent.  If you want to start to believe you're intelligent, start feeding your brain intelligent material, and it sure as hell isn't watching the latest episode of 'The Real Housewives of 'I've got so much money and bored that I'll make a TV program about it'

Over to you

I've just read over this list again and it comes across as being a bit harsh, but I hope you take it in the way it's intended which is a gentle kick up the arse 🙂

Leave a comment below to let me know what you think about the list and add any more that you have come across

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.