13 ways to be a better lover

About Steven Aitchison

I am the creator of Change Your Thoughts (CYT) blog and love writing and speaking about personal development, it truly is my passion. There are over 500 articles on this site from myself and some great guest posters.
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13
ways to be a better lover

Okay this one is for the guys. Guys often get a bad rap when it comes
to their bedroom antics. It doesn’t have to be this way. An explanation
might be needed for the women reading this. Guys, when we are young are
labelled a freak until we’ve had sex with someone, it often doesn’t matter
with whom and where as long as we get sex. It’s like a ritual. we
start to go a funny shape if we haven’t had sex by a certain age.

Now for some men this ‘go get it’ attitude never really leaves them and they
carry this on into their long term relationships. we are not taught how
to make love properly and it’s kinda embarassing going into borders and buying
‘the joy of sex’ book, although amazon has changed all that. However
with these 13 tips you can become a Casanova in no time and you will be ‘getting
it’ more than ever.

  1. Always, always, always be attentive.

Guys are often seen as being a bit insensitive. This is not always the
case but it is generally true that they are less sensitive than women. We
need to pay close attention to our partner’s feelings and wants and act
on them accordingly.

  1. Spoil your partner

Spoil them in every way, in the bed, in the house, lavish them with attention
when out, buy little gifts, leave little notes. All this stuff is not
just for newly weds; it’s for the rest of your life if you want it.

  1. Touch

Touching and stroking your partner is great for us and even better for them. A
warm sensual oil massage can be the most sensual thing in the world and it
gets you brownie points. However don’t spoil the massage moment
by giving her a quick 5 minute rubdown and then expect a long sensual 30 minute
massage for you.

  1. Make it last another 10 minutes

If you are used to making love for 10 minutes, which can be great, make it
last another 10 minutes by touching, kissing and caressing more. Then
after a few weeks increase it again by another 10 minutes.

  1. Kiss before and after

There is nothing better than a full on kiss before making love. However
there is nothing better than a full on kiss after making love. I know,
I know the sleep monster is trying to kick in at this stage but it is well
worth paying attention and kissing and stroking for 10 minutes after making
love.

  1. Caress, don’t grab!

I have often confused breasts with lumps of clay to mould and shape as I see
fit, apparently this is not how it’s done. Caressing is much better,
teasing and kissing softly is much better, you should see results immediately.

  1. Try new things

If you partner suggests a new move or a new anything else be willing to try
it. If you don’t like it then be honest and tell her.

  1. Tell her you love her (if you have a partner, not needed
    if it’s
    a one night stand!)

This might sound too simple, but it’s important for women to hear this. Don’t
just glance from the TV and say ‘love you babe’, every once in
a while tell her why you love her, she’s sexy, intelligent, a great mother,
a great lover, a fantastic wife just tell her why you love her.

  1. Kiss all over

Try every area of the body until you find the sweet spots and then concentrate
on them in the future. Vary the routine. I used to think there
was a set formula of 5 minute fumble, kiss a little, make love, and fall asleep. Thankfully
that was in my younger days, now its 6 minutes for the fumble (only kidding!). Try
changing your love making habits, lie making love during the day not just in
bed before going to sleep, try it in the morning, you get the picture.

  1. Ask what your partner likes

There is no better way of knowing what you partner likes than asking them.

  1. Dress it up a little

This can be a great way of injecting something different into your lovemaking. Don’t
be afraid to tell your partner your kink and ask them to oblige and similarly
be willing to dress it up.

  1. Foreplay

This can be the most important part of lovemaking for your partner. If
we are being honest, guys are brought up to relieve the tension quickly. However
it can be great for both partners to experience increased tension by making
foreplay last much longer.

  1. Enjoy the experience

It’s great, it can de-stress us, it can give us a great ‘after
sex sleep’, it brings us closer to our partner, enjoy the whole experience.

 

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Some Amazing Comments

comments

Comments

  1. My partner complained that I was not attentive enough and I admit at one time i believed i simply needed to turn up. I do definately love her, and the thoughts and feelings i have need to be expressed with her. My only problem was that she has had over a Dozen Lovers and at times this put me off although she never got my name wrong lol. Therefore building trust is critical if you are to truly love someone as I now love her.Having confidence in yourself I think is also important

  2. In my opinion in most relationships people don’t pay nearly enough attention to kissing. It’s fun, healthy and keeps the spark alive between the two of you. People who are physical with each other have much happier relationships.
    Alison @ Femita recently posted..The Secret To The Perfect Kiss

  3. The greatest happiness is to love and to be loved

  4. Spoiling your partner is a good way to be a better lover for girls. I enjoy being pet by my bf, I think every girl enjoys, too.

    Joanna Spilioti’s great blog post..Michael Jackson – Do you wish your picture had been torn off the wall? [Sally Edwards]

  5. Hello there and yes you are very right about your 13 ways to make love. I found out a long time ago that to really satisy my partner was to have some serious fun before sex and then during sex to spueeze those breasts and the legs and during doggie style to give the butt cheecks a good hard squeezing too. After just run my hands all over her body and kiss her gently for a while, then let the sleep monster have his way with me and knock me OUT.

  6. Know her/his personality type BEFORE you make love. Each type has “instinctive” love making, relationship oriented preferences…our way of love may not be their way of love….etc.

    Regards,
    Ken

  7. Ouch. That’s too hard to do. Do you have some easy steps? :) Like “Spend 13 minutes to be a better lover”?

  8. me and my husband are soulmates…we make good love..the only thing he will not kiss full …. i love kissing its such a turn on he;ll olny do it very once in a while…what can i do to get himm back to doing it again?

  9. Thanks Dan And Jennifer for commenting, I thought this post had been as welcome as a dose of the flu.

  10. Hey Steven,

    Great post! Welcome to the dark side. :-)

    Have an awesome day!
    Dan & Jennifer

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