Do you want a happier, healthier relationship? Who doesn’t! But what many people don’t understand is that relationships take work. They require your patience, love, support, and most importantly – your effort. That’s why we’re looking at the main pillars of a successful marriage.
And just what is a pillar? It is often defined as a strong structure used for support. Imagine a great pillar holding up a beautiful building. Without the pillar, the building would come crumbling down. Similarly, without these relationship pillars, your marriage will crumble.
This is exactly what we're looking at today. The three pillars of a strong and healthy relationship are love, caring, and sharing. Keep reading to find out what role these three qualities will play in your love life.
1. The Pillar of Love
Love is one of the most important pillars of all. It may not be as pivotal as respect or the need for communication in a relationship, but love is what will give couples the strength to endure through hard times.
Love each other. This is a no-brainer when it comes to having a healthy relationship.
Love your faults. Sharing your life with someone else is incredible. Having someone there to share fun and exciting experiences with, to have a shoulder to cry on, and to love and cherish is incredibly rewarding. But, that doesn't mean your partner is perfect or that you won't ever feel irritated with one another.
Nobody is perfect, meaning that there will be times when your spouse's foibles will drive you up the wall. Remember to love them at these moments, too.
Be faithful. Part of showing love to your partner also means taking a vow to be monogamous.
Infidelity is a huge betrayal that can leave trust shattered in your relationship. It causes untrusting and unbecoming behavior from both spouses.
On the other hand, monogamy brings forth an element of trust into a relationship. It allows the marriage bond to solidify and for partners to be vulnerable with one another.
2. The Pillar of Care
There are many different aspects of caring for your partner. There is caring for their physical, mental, and emotional needs. All of which are essential to building a happy, healthy relationship together.
Care for each other's needs. As a couple, you have blended two lives together. This means you are now responsible for caring for one another's emotional needs. Being emotionally available, trustworthy, and empathetic are all qualities that show your partner you care for them.
Learn to communicate. Communication is the key to healthy and happy relationships. It's how couples resolve conflict, get to know one another better, and strengthen their romantic friendship.
Respect one another. When you respect your partner, you show that you have deep admiration for them. You honor their opinions, thoughts, qualities, boundaries, and privacy.
Show empathy. Another way you show your partner you care is by having empathy for them. Try to see things from their point of view and sympathize with their feelings. This is especially helpful when you're having an argument. Not only will empathy deepen your connection, but it will help diffuse disagreements.
3. The Pillar of Sharing
When you enter a marriage, you enter into a partnership. You become a unit of shared experiences. One study researched the effects of couples using the term "We" when talking about their lives, instead of using "I". For example, saying, "What do we think about those things?" instead of asking "What do I think about those things?"
The results found that couples who practiced "we" language had boosted marital satisfaction. They also displayed desirable interaction qualities, such as lower cardiovascular arousal and more positive emotional behaviors.
Share your lives. Sharing your life means being vulnerable with someone else and trusting them with your secrets. Research shows that couples are happier when they are sharing friends, which is exactly what you do in a marriage. You share friends, family, goals, and ideas.
Your finances. It is completely fine if couples aren't comfortable sharing bank accounts, but sharing financial information is essential for a happy marriage. Couples must discuss debt, budgets, saving strategies, and other issues of financial management in order to truly share their lives together.
Your time. Research shows that couples who have a regular date night each week show boosted sexual and emotional satisfaction rates, are less likely to get divorced, and have a deeper marital friendship than those who do not make quality time a must.
Do what’s best for you and your spouse by building up the three pillars of a healthy relationship – love, caring, and sharing.
Building a loving relationship is well within your reach. Vow to love one another through thick and thin, stay faithful and show respect.
Show a genuine willingness to share your lives together. This may involve doing things that make you feel vulnerable, but it is well worth the effort.