Making Friends: Why Leaving it to Chance Doesn't Work, and What to Do Instead

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If you ask the average person, "what do you do every week for meeting new people and making friends?" their mind goes blank.

They completely leave it to chance. They think that these things can't be controlled and they should let fate do its work.

That sounds great. Problem is, it doesn't" work!

And where do most people end up, socially? Well, they DO NOT have the friends they want. And they don't meet enough new interesting new people.

making_friendsSo they either keep feeling lonelier and lonelier everyday, or get stuck with some friends that don't encourage them, and maybe even bore them.

In this article, I want to share with you how to avoid the pitfalls of leaving your social life to chance, and what to do to get the friends that you dream of.

Do You Need a "Plan" for Meeting New Friends?

Here are some of the reasons why everyone needs to have a clear idea on how to meet new people, and NOT leave it to chance. Read through and see if this applies to You:

  1. If you happen to be an introvert, then your natural instinct" doesn't" push you to go socialize with people. That's why, if you don't proactively do it, it won't happen.
  2. Many people or friends you have will probably fade out of your life. Maybe they'll move to new cities, get new jobs or get in romantic relationships or even get engaged and will no longer have any time for friends.This is why I say that "If you're not constantly making new friends, you're making less."
  3. If you do have a clear plan to meeting and making friends, you can consciously choose to be with people that will understand you, tolerate your flaws, encourage you, and also have lots of fun with you.
  4. If you don't have a clear idea on how to make new friends, then it's hard to get out of loneliness. Loneliness is a viscous circle: it is caused by lack of social connection, yet it discourages you from seeking it! If you have a clear idea on how to meet new people, you won't get in that circle in the first place.
  5. Meeting new friends is never boring, and it can energize you a lot to know exactly how to find new people, hang out with them, and learn from their stories.
  6. If if you're shy and happen to fear that others will judge you, then having a clear plan on how to make friends prepares you mentally, and the tension is gone.

In fact, shy people can solve this by planning to go to more low-pressure environments instead of going to incredibly intimidating places.

  1. Also, having a plan for your social life makes you mentally ready to have conversations with people you just meet, even if you usually have trouble maintaining conversations.
  2. Last, but not least, not having a plan makes you simply not remember to take action and meet new people.

We often set "making new friends" as a goal for our lives, but many months go by and we find that nothing happened! And of course, that's because we didn't intentionally build a way for ourselves to remember it.

How To begin to Plan For Meeting People and Making Friends

Here are some steps that can get you started making progress in your social life:

  • Your hobbies and topics of interest: Take note of your top interests and hobbies. They can be the "social glue" that will help you connect with new friends.
  • The places you like to go: This seems too simple. But it's very important. Be sure to have a clear idea on where you want to hang out with friends, and what you want to be doing with them. This is especially helpful when you're suggesting plans to people. The more you know about how to have fun, the easier it will be for people to join you.
  • The Hubs: These are the people or places that will help you connect with new friends. For example, if you like meditation, or yoga, enroll in a class, or two or three, and join a meetup group, and attend. All the clubs/group, online and offline, that are related directly or indirectly to your hobbies or interested are the "hubs" that you need to be aware of.
  • The Routine: This is about taking the plan from paper to reality. This is where you realistically decide how often you're going to go to the "hubs". And you need to stick to it. You can put it in your calendar, if you want. But, to take it to the next level, enroll to the class, so you have to go, or join a meetup group, contact the manager and tell them that you want to help with the events that commitment will motivate you to go there every time.

By going through these steps, you put yourself in the EASIEST position to make friends. Even for people who have big social skills problems, the things that work are simple.

Yet, most people don't know how to make them in the right sequence to make them work.

It's the proper use of the simple techniques that can make all the difference in your social life.

Just imagine what life would be like if you had people you can spend time with, have mutual understanding and appreciation. You could go out with them, having a great time, have awesome birthday parties, and memorable holidays and trips.

Be sure to apply the steps I shared with you. They should get you started.

And, if you would like to get more ideas that will help you get the friends you want, you can subscribe to my Free Social Skills Newsletter here.

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About the author

Paul Sanders

Paul Sanders's Get The Friends You Want teaches you how to:
Overcome Shyness & Loneliness ; Master Conversation & Social Skills ; Make Friends & Build a Social Circle.
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