Letting go to get what you want

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Go get it, but let go first!

Have you ever gone for a job interview not caring at all whether you get the job or not and invariably you end up getting it? This has happened to me a few times and in different areas of my life. The best time it ever happened to me was the night I met my wife.

For years I had been dreaming about my perfect partner. I visualised a woman with long dark hair, she was petite, intelligent and able to stand up for herself. I pictured us having two children and I pictured the house we lived in, I gave it the works. I had this in my head for about 6 years. Every time I went out for a night out I would look for her.

I dated in-between but never really found anybody whom I could say "˜she's the one'. I eventually grew tired of looking and on the 19th July 2002 I was walking along Argyle street in Glasgow on my way to work and I said to myself "˜that's it, I love being a bachelor and that is the way I will stay for the rest of my life' and at that I gave up the fight to find my perfect woman. During the day I was saddened as I hadn't found "˜the one'.

Earlier on in the week I had been asked to go to a 40th birthday party from some colleagues at work and I had said maybe but on that day I didn't feel like it, I was feeling a bit down. Later on I decided to go as everybody else seemed to be going.

I got chatting to a few friends on the night out and we were having a laugh and at 7.30pm a woman walked in wearing a red t shirt and a pair of brown cord trousers, I looked up and said "˜who the hell is that!' I later found out it was a colleague's sister. She was not interested in me at all at the beginning but then a song came on that I loved, I held out my hand and asked if she wanted to dance and it was electric.

Her name is Sharon, she had two boys from a previous marriage whom I adore, we have a fantastic house, we have a love that I have never known and we have a little dog called Trinity (after the character from The Matrix), perfect.

The point of that story was to show that I had all the ingredients of getting what I wanted except I had emotionally held on too tight to my desire of having my perfect partner. As soon as I let go of the desire she came to me.

All areas of lsuccess imageife

This happens in many areas of my life and I have to catch myself before I
become too emotionally involved. Michael Neill stated in his book "˜You Can Have What You Want Imagine
what you want is like a beautiful butterfly in your hands. If you squeeze too
tightly the butterfly will be crushed, if you hold your hands too loosely,
the butterfly will simply fly away. The secret is to hold it gently.

This is true in most areas of your life. Have you ever dated someone who just held too tightly to you, they clung to you, they called all the time? How did you feel? A bit claustrophobic I would guess and I would also guess that you are no longer with that person.

I have noticed that my web design and hosting business bradlewdesigns ticks over nicely as I do not focus on it too intently and I don't need money from it. I get passive income from the hosting side of it and I get to do something I love from the design side of it, and that is working with computers and learning new technologies. And due to the fact that I don't need the income from it I tend to get more work.

The recipe

The goal "“ you need to have a goal, preferably written down so you can check on it from time to time.

Visualise "“ Picture in your minds eye everything about the goal, how it looks, what it smells like use all your sense. Now get emotional with it how do you feel inside about it. Do this often but feel relaxed when you are doing it.

Steps "“ Take gentle steps toward your goals. If you want to start a business, enquire about it; enjoy the process of research and finding out. Too many people want everything to happen yesterday. If you take it easy you'll enjoy every minute of the process, setting up the bank accounts with your business name on it, doing your website, getting an accountant (one who you feel connected to and who knows your business), if you take gentle steps you will feel less stressed and enjoy the whole experience.

Relax and let go – Let go of your goals for a bit. Stay focused on what you want but let the tension and stress you might feel go. Just hold up your hands and say I need some time with my family, I need a break, and I need to go fish. You need to let the cosmos catch up with your goals and their next step. You can't do everything at 100 miles per hour if the cosmos only works at 60 miles per hour.

Just take some quality time to reflect and you will reach your goals a lot quicker.

When I first started this blog, only 4 weeks ago I checked my stats every hour I was obsessed. I then dropped it to every few hours then every day and now I check it when I feel like it. I try to concentrate on the articles and the ideas in the articles rather than the money now. It took me 4 weeks to pull myself back, but I love doing this now, even if nobody writes a comment or clicks on the ads or makes a donation, I will continue as I love doing it.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.