The world has never been so connected but we have never been so alone. When was the last time you had a conversation with your neighbours? When did you last strike up a conversation with someone in a lift (an elevator)? Our world has become so exciting and manic that we are forgetting to connect with each other.
If we want to speak to someone we send a "˜quick email' or give them a "˜quick call', if we want to see our friends holiday snaps we check out their Bebo site, if we want to meet someone new we check out a dating website.
If we want to make true friends with people, we have to start connecting with them on a genuine way.
A lot of us have become so psychologically and politically aware that we are all playing games with each other. When you are dating someone new have you ever held off calling that person for fear of them knowing you like him or her, have you ever come across this scenario:
You have met someone you like and it's clear they like you, you go to call them to meet up:
You: "˜He might think I like him too much so I will hold off calling them, I'll wait another few days'
Them: "˜I wish she would call, I don't want to call in case she thinks I am desperate, I'll wait another couple of days and call her'
We play games at work, in our love life, in our business life and even in our family life. All of this adds up to us feeling even more alone and isolated from each other.
If it's one thing I have learned in life that has helped me more than anything and that's being honest and genuine. By genuine I mean not having an agenda when speaking to someone. I have gained a reputation of being a very honest and open person. If somebody asks me a question that they may not like the answer to I always ask "˜Do you want me to tell the truth here or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?' I have mixed reactions to that question, but it has gained me a great reputation of being trustworthy and honest.
It's time to stop playing games and being honest with yourself and being honest with others, this will start you on the road to connecting with others again.
Being honest can be hard for some people however the effort of being honest will stand you in good stead for making friends easily.
We all need people to help us in life, we need love, we need praise, and we need conversation. Even online we need people to help us reach our goals. If it wasn't for you reading this article right now I wouldn't have a blog, I wouldn't have 2000 subscribers to this blog, I wouldn't have written one single word if it wasn't for you. I have made some great contacts through blogging and I am one of the most anti-social people you could meet, however I choose my relationships wisely and don't collect friends for the sake of it. I recognise the importance of creating lasting friendships for myself and for others.
We are social creatures and we all need somebody. Why not smile at that person in the lift and strike up a conversation, stop and speak to your neighbours for 5 minutes, have a genuine conversation with no agenda with your work colleagues. It's time to become a social-human again instead of a techno-human.
The next article in this series will be "˜The art of honesty' and I look forward to seeing you here.