Change Your Life: Part 2: Gaining Back Your Energy

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Lots of us are giving our energy away needlessly every day. It  is no wonder that a lot of us feel drained, in the morning and at night when  we have finished working.   It's time to start gaining back your energy.

We are giving our energy away to people and  projects we shouldn't be. We can all save our energy and distribute it  more to ourselves and the  people who truly matter in our lives.

What do I mean by this?

Think of your typical day it could go something like this;

wake up with an alarm clock at 7am, drag yourself out of bed, get the kids  wakened for school, brush teeth, shower, get kids wakened for school, make  breakfast, shout at kids to get up for school, put make up on (if you're a  woman, or a guy whatever flicks your switch), tell the kids to stop arguing,  get packed lunches ready, shout at kids to get ready, get them into the car,  kiss your partner goodbye, go into the office, read your e-mail, think of all  the things you've got to do that day, talk on the telephone getting harassed  sometimes, you get worried as time is running out and you haven't finished  your work, go home at 5pm or stay on, feeling even more harassed as you know  your partner might be upset, you eventually go home, speak to the kids and  your partner, make the dinner, clean the dishes, kick back, relax and then go to bed,  and do it all over again the next day.

This is a typical scenario and I've only scratched the surface.

We drain ourselves every day by talking to people who steal our energy. We  drain our energy by waking up in the middle of a dream (we are more lethargic  if we have woken up during REM sleep). We drain our energy shouting at  our kids, getting upset over the little things. We drain our energy fighting with loved  ones, when you argue and fight with someone and it upsets you afterward you  are giving someone else your power, you need this power so keep it to yourself.


Here are 7 tips for raising  your energy

1. Ditch the alarm clock

Alarm Clock

If you get up  each morning with an alarm clock try and stop this habit. It  might sound a little scary at first but it is worth it. Whilst we are  sleeping we go through stages of sleep. In the morning we are often drifting  in and out of REM sleep. If are awakened abruptly from REM sleep it is  difficult to recover from the grogginess we feel. The alarm clock often  wakes us up smack bang in the middle of REM Sleep

By ditching the alarm clock you wake up naturally and your brain will automatically  adjust to your sleeping cycle and prompt you when to wake up at the right time. Sound a  bit far fetched. I have been doing it for over 12 years and I have honestly  never used an alarm clock in all that time. If I need to get up a little  earlier than normal I remind myself what time I need to get up. What does  happen is that I sometimes wakes up a few hours before the stated time and  then 1 hour before it and then half an hour before it, but I still get a good  rest as my brain is taking care of the sleep.

Don't go cold turkey; set the alarm clock for 10 minutes later than normal. Before  going to sleep tell yourself what time you want to get up.

2. Stop shouting at the kids

Children Fighting In Front Of Father At Home

This is a tough one for some of us. I still shout but only when I've  reached saturation point. Children learn by example and I started to notice  that my boys were using the same technique as me when they wanted to get their  point across or they were upset. This is clearly not good for you or for  your children.

Now if my kids do something they shouldn't have we will sit them down make  them know we are angry or upset and punish them accordingly (by this I mean  take away something they like e.g. the TV, computer or something else).

When you shout when you are upset you are literally throwing your energy to  that person and the bad vibes it creates can last a long time.

3. Fighting with loved ones

Couple Arguing in Bed

One of my clients was really upset a few weeks ago and couldn't stop crying. I  asked him what the problem was and he said he had had a fight with his girlfriend  and they had split up.  He felt as if he was having a breakdown. I spoke  with him for over an hour and once he had calmed down I asked him if he realised he was giving his power to another person.

He was letting someone else  control how he thought about his life therefore how he felt and how he acted. This  was a simple statement but a powerful one, my client got it. He was able  to control himself and to a degree his thoughts and able to reclaim some of  his power.  That's not to say you shouldn't get upset, I was simply pointing out that he felt his life was over, and in that statement he had given all control of his life to his girlfriend.

Every day we lose some of our energy by giving credence to what other people  think about us or say to us. Be yourself always and you will lose less energy.

4. The silly things

How many times have you got angry or upset waiting in a traffic jam, a queue  for a bus, a queue in the shops, losing your keys, your wallet. If we  stop to think about the things we get upset about we would realise how silly  it was. I lost a sheet of paper this morning for an insurance pack I  had to send back. After 5 minutes of looking for it and not finding it  I was starting to get angry. I immediately recognised this and just  let it pass. I still couldn't find it and thought "˜what's  the worst that can happen'. I wrote a quick note to the insurance  company and explained I had lost the paper they had sent but I was sure they  would have a copy of it themselves.

It's the little things that can upset us the most.

5. People you work with

They are just that, they are people you work with. They are not your  friends, they are not your relatives they are people you work with. Their  opinion of you doesn't matter therefore do not let them upset you. If  you need to say something to them do it immediately and don't let a small  comment from them simmer inside you. If you do this you will gain a lot  of your power back and sometimes a lot of respect.

6. Stand up for yourself.

Woman confidence

The quickest way to gain control of your energy and gain more power is to  always stand up for yourself.

When I was younger I was bullied and later on in life I had massive problems  with confrontation, I just couldn't handle it at all. I realised  what an effect this was having on me and over time I realised I didn't  really stand up for myself. An incident happened when I was around 17  and I stood up for myself, scary as it was, and I was empowered. I gained  my self respect back and gained respect from others.

I always stand up for myself in the right situations, choose your battles  well. Don't think everyone wants a fight with you; you can still  have a laugh with someone if they are making fun of you as long as it is with  your consent i.e. they're laughing with you.

7. What's the worst that can happen?

This is one of my favourite phrases  "˜What's the worst that  can happen?'. If you find yourself panicking about things, anything,  ask yourself "˜what's the worst that can happen' and most  times it's not as bad as you think it is. When you're panicking  you're giving your energy away to something non existent. When  you worry about things you're giving your energy away to something non  existent. Change your thoughts, gain back your energy and change your  life.

Read Part 1 of This Series: Change Your Life Part 1 – Grab Your Balls

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.