Why did he just do what he did? Why on earth would she say that to me? What was that all about? Ever find yourself asking some of these questions and maybe others because of something someone just did or said to you. And not just anyone, but someone who claims to love you. It's often said that the people who are closest to us, or the ones who love us, are usually the first ones to hurt us. Funny how that works.
Why though, if they love us, do they continually mistreat us? These are the people who we should be able to go to no matter what, and trust wholeheartedly. But we can't, and we don't. We find ourselves lashing out to them or to others about them and the horrible way they are treating us. So why does this happen and when does this vicious cycle ever stop. Below are a few reasons why this might be happening.
Topping off the list is jealousy and for good reason. Most people who love us really are secretly jealous of us for whatever reason. Some reasons, in their mind, are valid, others are just plain ridiculous. No one ever needs to be jealous of anyone else. We are all very gifted and special in our own ways. However, with that said, you may have something they want which results in them lashing out at you.
Much like jealousy but with a bit of an angry twist to it, they just may be harbouring ill feelings towards you about something from the past. For any of us, if we don't resolve issues from our past, they will continually creep up and bite us in the arse. When doing this, it often is someone else's arse they are chewing on too. Figure out where the anger comes from and maybe it can be diffused in the future.
You are way too submissive and many bullies or angry people will gladly take advantage of you simply because they can. You are their dart board, their angry venting board. They can yell, snap, disrespect and treat you poorly because you let it happen and let it go. They will always gravitate to you as an easy target. For some submissive people, this rolls off their back like water on a duck, for others, it's painful.
They really just don't like you, period. There is no easy way around this one. If you are a family member and they really dislike you, you're pretty much doomed until you decide to distance yourself from this person and surprisingly, many people won't because it's family. We think because Jane is our sister or Tom is our brother we have to put up with them and their mistreatment. You don't. Stay away from them until they learn respect.
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some have motives, others just do it because they can get away with it. careful of the bully with motives. They will mistreat you because they think they can get something out of you and they will continue to be mean to you until you cave in and give them what they want. Learn to say no to this person and stand your ground. They'll eventually back down and away.
Some people are just angry. Plain and simple. They are angry at the government, angry at their spouse, angry at the weather, you name it, this person is pissed off. These are the ones who lash out for no reason and could not care less about doing it either. I mean, the world owes them, right? There is little anyone can do to help the angry person. It's best to just stay away from this one until they recognize the anger in them.
Though these reasons don't justify their actions it certainly helps to put things into a bit of perspective so we know better in the future how to handle the mistreatment and to try to come from a place of love and understanding. It's still important to stand your ground and say no to this treatment and let them know, under no circumstances, is it acceptable. They'll catch on eventually.