We loved, we lost, we loved again and lost again. We love him, we hate him, we love him, we miss him. Oh how we want this to work. There are so many good things about our ex. So many wonderfully beautiful qualities about them. Our hearts are torn. Surely we can make this work, right? Wrong. There are many reasons why you should never go back to your ex but well list only 5 of them here.
When we first meet the person who claim to be the love of our life, at the time, we couldn't ever imagine a life without them. We have butterflies in our tummy, our hearts are lit afire, our eyes twinkle and sparkle when we see them and there's a rosy glow in our cheeks. In the first 6 months anyway. Unfortunately, for some, true colours shine through by year 2 and suddenly we want to break free. That's not always an easy thing to do either. There may be money invested, children may have come into the picture by then and various other things may have come up in that time. We separate anyway.
6 months later, we long to be back in each other's arms. This truly is just a bad idea. Unless you both have gone through some total life transformation, going back to your ex is never a good plan. Here are 5 reasons why.
1. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Promises often fall flat. They are empty and you've heard them all a million times before. She promised this, he promised that. When people sincerely want to change toxic behaviours they will do it, not for you but for themselves. You can't change someone either and expect them to behave the way you want them to. It's up to them to do that. If they aren't ready to change or eliminate these negative patterns, you can't control that or force them into that.
2. Annoying habits don't go away.
Remember that one thing that used to drive you crazy? Maybe there was more than one thing. It would grind on your nerves, all the time. It hasn't gone away. They still do it, still have that annoying habit. If you go back now you will think it s cute but in 6 months it will drive you crazy again. You are finally free of it now. Don't go back to that. You'll be sorry.
3. Where's the respect?
If respect was one of the issues, and your ex partner hasn't learned the value of respect yet, you are walking back into the same disrespectful situation. It may be ok for the first little while, the honeymoon phase if you will, but once that has fizzled down, the ugly head of disrespect will show up again. It never left in the first place. It was just a little quiet for awhile.
4. Show'em love.
Remember all the fights you two used to have to endure surrounding family gatherings? You hate her family, she hates yours. They won't miraculously start loving your family after a break up. This will always be a point of contention. If it hasn't been dealt with and handled in a responsible and mature manner, that problem will never go away. If you desperately want your ex back, remember and be prepared for the family fights. There will be more again.
5. Trust. She/he broke it.
Not once, not twice, but three times or more. They swear up and down they are so sorry and promise to never lie again. There s that empty false promise again. how many times have they already lied to you? Unless they have done a complete 360-degree turnaround, that lying trait is still there. Even if it isn't it will take so much effort for you to even try to believe them again and you will spend days, weeks and maybe even months questioning their every move. Are you prepared to live like that?
Always try to keep in mind that when we eliminate one toxic thing in our life, we are opening to receive something good. If you keep going back to the stuff you had before, new and better things will have a hard time getting to you. Forget your ex and embrace the new. You'll be glad you did.