Let me guess. You don’t understand why your relationships never turn out that great, right?
It looked promising at the start, but now…there are times when you wonder why you bother.
Except being alone doesn’t feel that great either.
Well, here’s a little secret…
You are designed for love in its highest form and here’s 5 things to start doing right now to improve your relationships.
1.First Be Complete
No one can complete you, in spite of those really moving words you hear spoken in movies.
Nor do you need to be completed. You are a whole life just as you are. You are one with creation.
It’s easy to lose yourself in your desire for love, but it’s one of the most painful things you can do and never leads to a deep fulfilling connection .
And should anyone ever say ‘you complete me’ run for the hills. They’re telling you they’re not whole, they need you to fill a hole or to heal themselves with you. This is just a recipe for disaster be it in friendship, or love.
2.Accept the perfectly imperfect
Acknowledging that nothing and no-one is perfect is another great starting point.
We are all perfectly imperfect, it’s part of the balance that life has on offer. Everything in this journey called life brings ups and downs, yes’s and no’s. Love and anger. Pain and forgiveness.
Rejection and acceptance.
Once you let go of seeking perfection you are open to discovering the relationship that might be a perfect fit for you. The imperfectly perfect one who dovetails perfectly with you. And it’s a whole lot easier than looking for Mr or Mrs Perfect, especially since they don’t exist.
3.Get a handle on your relationship story
What’s your relationship story? You know the one. The one you’ve told yourself ever since that first relationship blew up scattering your heart into a million pieces.
Ask yourself…”Do I talk to my friends about how hard relationships can be? About the things that are wrong or have gone wrong in my past or present.?”
Be honest. If the answer is yes bear in mind that whatever your beliefs or expectations are around relationships, if you want to do just one thing that will improve your relationship it’s revise the stories you’ve been telling yourself.
Remember it’s a lot easier to be negative than positive and each time you think, or talk about what’s challenging in your relationship, or what doesn’t work you are magnifying the problems.
Amazingly enough once you start telling yourself a new story such as “I deserve a wonderful, loving, supportive relationship.” Or. “I am deeply loved.” Things will start to change. The Universe will come to your aid and support you in experiencing this.
It’s life at its magical best.
4.Start your day with love
Look back on your life? Can you see that your best moments, the ones that were the happiest were those when you were coming from love?
Good relationships don’t appear out of the clear blue sky. They take nurturing, a willingness to talk, and an effort to make sure that the ‘We’ of you is as important as the ‘I’ or ‘You.’
Don’t wait for a reason to love. Love because you can. Love because you’re so full of love it naturally radiate to all those around you.
Love can be the greatest source of strength, happiness and inner tranquility you could ever know and even if it doesn’t improve the relationship you have today, it will definitely lead you to a greater one tomorrow.
Remember it is only with the heart that we get to see clearly what is invisible to our eyes.
If someone has cheated. If someone is controlling, forget punishment. Forget the silent treatment, or the yelling, they never changed a thing.
Give yourself time to process what’s happening. Be kind and loving to yourself, and only when you’re ready, not when they’re ready. When you’re ready…talk about it.
If you can look at the entire experience as a gift to either transform what you have, or transform yourself, you will have moved into a place of creative power. The place where you get to decide which it is. Time to move on or rewrite the relationship agreement.
Wise Last words
I know I said here’s 5 things to start doing now to improve your relationship, but in all honesty I can’t tell you that every relationship is fixable. Not everything is.
Sometimes the best we can do is to understand that relationships are mirrors, revealing who we are and what we believe, and when viewed in this light they can be a wonderful tool for our healing and growth.
“Many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You’re aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can’t be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn’t be.” Wise words to remember, from C. Joybell C.
Encourage one another.