“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” Helen Keller
Comfort zones: Nice cozy little pockets of reality.
There is nothing wring with comfort zones per se. We all like being cozy at times and there is an ebb and flow to life. There is a time for pushing ourselves and ‘being out there’ and there is a time for rest. If we trust ourselves we start to sense when the time is right for doing and when it is right for resting.
Where the comfort zone becomes a problem is when we are stuck in it, when we don’t let ourselves move on with the natural flow of life. When we hold ourselves back and hide in our comfort zone we are effectively saying no to life.
Recognise where you are stuck
The first step to moving out of your comfort zone is realising that you are in one! They can be so comfy and ‘normal’ that we don’t know where we are. Taking the time to sit down on a regular basis and assess how we are progressing in the various areas of our life is a great way to flag this up. We can then start to see how happy we are with each area and where we are dissatisfied. Take the time to listen to your feelings. A supportive friend or coach can also be useful here. For a long time I didn’t ‘guest post’. I wanted to but I was scared of putting myself “out there”. Once I recognised the feeling I could move past it. Now I love guest posting. It doesn’t mean my fear has gone completely, but I now know many of my fears were unfounded and I can see for myself that there are so many benefits from guest posting. I get a real buzz from it!
Identify ways to move forward
When you know you are stuck in your comfort zone you have made a big step. Awareness is power. Now is the time to take action. Once I had realised my fear of guest posting, I started writing more posts and emailing sites where I wanted to be featured. Take the time to work out what actions you now need to take. Fed up with being single? You could join a dating site. Want to get fit? You could commit to an exercise plan and kick it off by going for a short run. Find what is right for you and just do it!
Know your fear
Some fears are good and help us weigh up our choices in life, but a lot of our fear is unnecessary and counter productive. We scare ourselves senseless about things that haven’t even happened. Stare your fears in the face and see them for what they really are. They are often related to feeling that we are not good enough e.g.: “they will never like my work”; “I am not attractive enough” etc. You are good enough! Watch out for your secret saboteur!
Do what scares you
When you are coming up with ideas for actions you could take and you notice that something scares you it is a good sign! Write this idea down and notice if you try to talk yourself out of it. Usually the scared feeling is accompanied with a feeling of exhilaration. You are scared but the idea thrills you at the same time. There is gold here! Commit to that action.
Make it a habit
Do something that scares you every day! The more we can make a habit of pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone, the easier it becomes. Talk to a stranger at the bus stop! Tell a joke at work when you normally wouldn’t! Send off that guest post!
You will build up confidence and resilience. You will start to know yourself as someone who takes risks and challenges themselves.
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Hi Jen
Welcome to the CYT community of authors and thank you for a great post. Comfort zones has been well written about but you have given it a fresh slant and I like your ideas about how to break free from comfort zones.
Do what scares you is perhaps the single best thing we can do to break out of our comfort zones and it is also the most liberating and self empowering.
Thanks again Jen, I know everyone will give you a warm welcome.
Thanks Steven! It’s really great to be here.
Doing what scares you is such a great way to get out of your comfort zone – we all know what scares us and if we can use this to move out of our usual behaviours it does turn into a great feeling and as you say is liberating and self empowering too.
Dear Jen,
I’m big on stepping outside the comfort zone and have been since I was pretty young. I’m not afraid to enter into the new. I’ve always sought out the new and adventure of one sort or another.
Interestingly, I also like my comfort zone and have some habits I enjoy regularly. The thing is, I don’t think I fool myself into thinking the comfort zone means life is predictable and can’t change dramatically in an instant.
A great quote at the beginning of your post. It’s so true – no matter how we try to insulate ourselves from change, it is an illusion that we can.
On my 40th I took a skydive. On my 41st was given a motorcycle as a present. I saw both as “symbolic” of my willingness to step into the adventure zone of life.
Really, a sense of stepping outside the comfort zone is an internal state and I love it, although it can feel scary at moments. Especially when we don’t feel we’re choosing to, but rather that life is thrusting us into a change we don’t prefer. That’s when a sense of mastery really matters. When we can ride the waves even in the face of tremendous moments of crisis.
Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
Regards,
Lauren
Hi Lauren
Thanks for sharing your experiences here and it’s great to hear about your sense of adventure! It’s really inspiring and highlights that everyone’s approach to comfort zones is different. I also really like how you distinguish between staying in your comfort zone and enjoying some of your habits vs being stuck. I think this is key – some things work and we don’t have to shake everything up. I think if we can be honest with ourselves we can then distinguish between the two. Also as you said, often our reaction can depend on whether or not we have “chosen” the change – we can really test our reactions out then!
Thanks for joining in the conversation.
Jen
Hi Jennifer,
Yes, Comfort Zone are a big one. As you so eloquently put it those “nice cozy little pockets of reality” is what keeps us from accessing our infinite power of creation. The contents of our Comfort Zone will kick and scream, it will not tolerate our attempts to tamper with it. Our real intelligence knows that there is something beyond the imagination our comfort offers us. The comfort zone is a painful psychological barrier when it prevents us from experiencing our unlimited nature. The infinite power of creation is ours if we make a determined effort to use it.
I for one am glad you decided step out of the comfort zone and guest post… what a great gift to the community.
Hey Rob
ah yes, you make a really good point …our comfort zone doesn’t like change does it?! but as you said so well, our real intelligence knows there is more out there … we really are capable of so much!
Thanks for the lovely welcome Rob,
Jen
I am scared to hurt others, but I see your point. I must learn to let people know that I have to live my life my way even if they do not agree to this.
.-= Bert K. Badrinath´s last blog ..Don’t call my name, Jerry Seinfeld =-.
Hi Bert,
I think you answered your own question there, well said.
All the best
Jen
Awesome post Jen. I can really relate to this right now as I’m sort of went out of my comfort zone when I started to interview people on my blog. But even in life, we have to face our fears, and I believe the more exposure we have, the easier it gets as it goes on. Everybody has their own set of fears that make them discomfortable and it just takes one step at a time to go through it in order to make something that’s not comfortable into something that’s comfortable. Good job with your guest post here!
.-= Hulbert Lee´s last blog ..Interview with Justin Popovic =-.
Hi Hulbert
Thanks so much! it’s great to hear about your own experience stepping outside your comfort zone with your interviews… as you say anything does get easier with practice. You will look back and realise how easy you find it now compared to then. When I look back at starting blogging just under a year ago I remember how scared I was to publish my first post. It’s amazing how much we grow if we are open to it.
Thanks for your support,
Jen
Hi Jennifer, I think there are two kinds of comfort zones. There are the ones where we go because they involve activities that we love, and that make us feel centered. That’s a healthy zone to be in.
On the other hand there are the ones defined by fears of all sorts. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, etc. This is where doing what scares us is really useful. Fear is a perception rooted in insecurity of some sort. We can deal with those insecurities in several ways, but sooner or later we move away from them by pushing beyond the limits of our comfort prison.
I really enjoyed this article and your refreshing perspective.
.-= Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..Do You Truly Value Your Closest Relationships? =-.
Great point Jonathan, it’s really good to know which comfort zones nourish us and are healthy and which deplete us and are ruled by fear. It is amazing how the illusion of fear can disintergrate when we push through and stare it in the face!
Thanks for your encouragment.
Jen
Hi Jennifer,
If we want to grow, we have to break away from our comfort zone. One of the best ways is to practice taking risks and doing something that we feel not comfortable doing. The more we practice, the easier it gets. Thanks for sharing
.-= Dia´s last blog ..5 Ways to stay energetic throughout the day =-.
I completely agree Dia.
Thanks for your tips, Jen. It has been said that success just lies outside the comfort zone. If we remain in the comfort zone, we get stuck, indeed, and nothing worthwhile will ever occur out of our own doing with our life.
Dare to get out of your COMFORT zone into your COURAGE zone to accomplish things you have never done before within your CORE zone.
.-= Percival J. Meris´s last blog ..Juice Fast Detox: Delectable Internal Body Cleansing and Weight Loss =-.
Hi Percival
I really like how you put this … I think pushing ourselves to do something different really pays dividends in lots of ways.
Jen
Hi Jen,
Impressive work. I am agree with you, if some not going to leave his/her comfort zone then he /she will never get success. And always remain stuck, indeed and worthless.
Thanks Jimmy – I am glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks, Jennifer, for this nice and helpful post. Great tips! I like it!
.-= Roman Soluk´s last blog ..How to cope with high blood pressure =-.
Thanks Roman.
“When you are coming up with ideas for actions you could take and you notice that something scares you it is a good sign!”
I agree, taking the first action step is big in dealing with fears head-on, even if it’s simply formulating a plan.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Full Disclosure =-.
Thanks Colleen – the first step is so important just to build momentum.
Just discovered this blog and look forward to reading more of the motivating articles. Thank you for this post Jennifer on Comfort Zones and I agree with you about the first step to moving out of a comfort zone is recognising we are stuck (we sometimes have so many signs that we choose to push aside/ignore). Val
.-= Valerie´s last blog ..Family Rules =-.
Great to meet you Valerie. I agree, we do get signs and it is about listening to them and taking action.
Hi Jennifer. I really needed this today! Thank you. For lots of different reasons (some a little outside my control at the moment..) I am feeling a little stuck. I have, however, recently started blogging. I’ve never done anything like it before, never really done any writing but I wanted to have a go. Every time I press the publish button I am shaking. What if I’m no good, what if no one reads it, what if, what if, what if….but I have promised myself I will not let this fear stop me. And you are so right, the fear is kind of exhilarating!!
.-= Sofa Karen´s last blog ..Feeling grateful. Kind of… =-.
I am glad this helped Karen.
Great to hear you have started a blog … I have found blogging a really helpful way to keep confronting my comfort zones and also to reflect on my actions…. it is wonderful to hear how you are facing the fear and not letting it stop you! Keep it up.
Jen
Hi Jennifer. I really needed this today! Thank you. For lots of different reasons (some a little outside my control at the moment..) I am feeling a little stuck. I have, however, recently started blogging. I’ve never done anything like it before, never really done any writing but I wanted to have a go. Every time I press the publish button I am shaking. What if I’m no good, what if no one reads it, what if, what if, what if….but I have promised myself I will not let this fear stop me. And you are so right, the fear is kind of exhilarating!!
Hi Jen,
“Do what scares you”
I couldn’t have put it better myself, I think this is something we all should do once in every 2 weeks
Cheers!
.-= Parker Lee | howtomingle.com´s last blog ..I’m, Too Sexy For My Shirt–Gawd-Daymn It Hurts! =-.
ha ha! I agree Parker!
Jen
Hello,
Great post thank-you! I think facing your fears is the only way to overcome them….and they are never as bad as them seem! Actually I did my first guest post this week, was SO nervous but that was part of the fun!
Kate
Hi Nate
Thank you – how wonderful to hear you have started guest posting – I always get the fear doing a guest post but it is always a great experience as you said! Definately a great way to expand your comfort zone!
Jen
Dear Jen — Great post and I enjoyed it while I squirmed. I often stay in my comfort zone too long. I laughed about the guest posts. I’ve had some offers recently and it does scare me. So much my writing is done the day before I post, with little advance planning. You have to think about a guest post and it does require planning. So, guest posts do push me to step out my comfort zone.
I liked what you said about the first step being “acknowledging” that you’re stuck in your comfort zone. This is really true. I usually know this when I’m putting things off. Out of my comfort zone are the items on my TO DO list that have been there for weeks! If this happens, I usually have to find a smaller step I WILL take to get moving.
I like your ideas very much. Thanks:~)
.-= Sara´s last blog ..Treasure at the Long Red Light =-.
Hi Sara
I can really identify with what you shared here and have the same experience. You are so right about the todo list! It is usually the things we resist the most that are just outside the comfort zone and will make the most difference once we get moving!
Jen
Jen,
An insightful article indeed.
Although I’d personally define comfort zones a bit differently.
Comfort zones: Nice cozy little pockets of that part of the reality which makes you feel at ease.
Reality, in itself is a word which does include the things that are way beyond one’s comfort zones. Won’t you agree?
Anyway, good to read you here.
Hi Abubakar
Thank you – it is good to look at things from another perspective and I agree, reality covers a huge spectrum.
Cheers
Jen
Jen,
Perfect timing! I’ve been feeling stuck all day. It’s the small stuff that holds me back…like obsessing about a tag line. Like I can’t change it or something; )
Hi Tess!
Same here – the small stuff can be the worst but once we recognize that it is really freeing isn’t it?
Jen
Doing something that scares us, on a daily basis. I like this idea! I think we can start with smaller things, such as your suggestions to talk to someone you don’t know and visit a place you’re not familiar with. These things can help us rise up to bigger challenges.
.-= Julius´s last blog ..Why Is It Good For The Economy To Hire People With Disabilities? =-.
Hi Julius
The small things really do add up to bigger changes don’t they?
Jen
This is awesome….I tend to think of it as “creating a new comfort zone.” Which necessarily requires a bit of discomfort at the beginning.
Tim D
http://www.momentary.org
free mobile gratitude journal
I really like that idea … at some point the new comfort zone becomes easier with practice!
Jen
Hi Jen,
I am a firm believer in pushing boundries and going against my comfort zone. I have found success in doing just that. When I was in college I majored in software engineering. After taking a few classes I realized this was not the career path that was sutible for me. I took a chance and went into a career field that I knew nothing about and now I have a career that I enjoy and love. If you don’t know what is out there you will never know what to look for. Thank you Jen for sharing this valuable information I enjoyed it.
We must think alike because I just wrote a post about facing fears and taking the next step.
.-= Frank´s last blog ..When Fear Turns Into Action (conclusion) =-.
Hi Frank
How wonderful to hear about your experiences! Really inspiring stuff.
Jen
Hi Jennifer,
I really love article about out of comfort zone. Potential is only realized when the individual moves out of their comfort zone.
In the end, each of us determines if there is anything good to say about being in one’s own “comfort zone”. But the evidence clearly points to “comfort” as an obstacle to success.
.-= Ben Tien´s last blog ..NLP Sport Psychology and Mental Attitude =-.
Hi Ben
I agree – we are all individual and our comfort zones personal but as you said pushing through comfort can really help us move forward.
Jen
Hi Jen!
Fun to see you writing here. Congrats on doing more guest posting!
Such an important topic. I love your first point about having a way to check in and assess what’s happening with comfort zones in our lives. I love the idea of looking proactively and regularly to see what may be getting stuck or stifled.
Hugs to you!
Tara
Thanks Tara!
I think pushing past our comfort zones is such a personal journey – unique for each of us. I really find listening to my intuition and checking in regularly really helps me see what’s going on.
Jen
Hello Jennifer and thanks for your wonderful post. As a naturally cautious person, it has taken so much effort to begin doing things that scare me. I was so afraid of making a mistake that I just avoided ever taking a chance. Well, as you said, that is like saying no to life. I’m still not a big time risk taker and I never will be, but the key is to challenge yourself from where you are. I’m doing that more and more everyday.
.-= Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last blog ..Why People Lie So Damn Much =-.
Thank you Nea – I think you make some great points. We are all different and what is a risk for one person will be different for another. Getting to know yourself and as you said challenging yourself from where you are is what it’s all about in my opinion.
Jen
Hi Jen,
I’m so glad you mentioned doing things you’re scared to do. I think that is the best way to build up your confidence as you pointed out in your post. Once you know you can do something you were originally scared to do it propels to try other things you were scared of too –
Thank you for this great post.
.-= Angela Artemis´s last blog ..What Happens When you Ignore Intuition Don’t Make this Mistake =-.
I agree Angela – it has a ripple effect really helps us to build confidence!
All this information is well and good, but…what about a person who isn’t just “quiet” and in their comfort zone, but someone who experienced alot of rejection about their appearance due to health problems; inability to make or keep friends or get a date and single for all of 49 years of life. Actually an attractive person with model features, but scalp and skin disease, and as a youth a bike accident ruined the front teeth with parents unable to fix it til age 17, and that just as the skin/scalp was finally clearing up. How many people spent their life running home from school til after high school to keep from getting beat up everyday? Men/boys approaching me eagerly only to cringe when I smiled. Go through Years of that and your advice to us “quiet”, “comfort zoners” would be alot different. I spell peace “A-L-O-N-E”.
Hi Eileen
I didn’t write this post for ‘quiet’ people, we are all different and as you rightly point out all with our own unique sets of situations and challenges. However the one thing we all have in common is the ability to choose our reaction to life. You may not want to hear this right now Eileen, but it is true. Just look at people who have forgiven the most horrendous attrocities and moved on or who inspire people despite disabilities or huge disadvantages. We all have the potential to overcome mountains. Yes, your situation has been tough, I am not pretending I can imagine what it’s been like and I can understand your anger but are you going to let your past dictate your future? The fact that you are at Steven’s site in the first place indicates to me that you know more is possible for you.
Love
Jen
Hi Jennifer, thanks for the great blog. I especially like reading about moving forward as I have been trying to think of new ways to that all day. Keep up the great writing and thinking. Robert
i love this site. It’d probably help me to declutter my mind.
Hey Steven,
I have done nearly everything that I know of to change myself, life & surroundings in my life. I have recently cleared a few toxic people in my life but nothing of what Ive done has made any nessessary change in my life in the direction that I have wanted it to go in. Admittedly I have had alot abuse in my life, from others & myself through drug abuse.
Anywho I am writing to get some advice or to get some assistance in finally getting over life issues.
Kind rgds & awaiting your response
Lindsay Fox