10 traits to lose friends and lovers
I think of myself as a fairly pleasant person who is kind of laid back and likes most people. I have been teaching my sons, which is an ongoing process, about potentially harmful traits. As children we all learn our personality from the feedback we get from those around us, if we lie and get a lot of attention for it we will continue to lie. If we are rude and get a reputation for it we will continue to be rude.
I have looked at some traits that I dislike in other people and hopefully am teaching my sons to avoid. I think if people could rid themselves of the following traits the World might be a better place.
The ten most hated traits
Arrogant– (Meaning = unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people). We’ve all come across people like this. When I think of the arrogant people I have met it seems to be mainly men that display this trait. I have also noticed that it seems to be a class trait i.e. people who are in the ‘upper class’ can be arrogant with the ‘lower classes’ (yes the class system is still very much embedded in UK culture).
Rudeness – (Meaning = not polite; offensive or embarrassing)
When I think of people who are rude I tend to think of shop sales assistants. I know in America they are much more customer focused but in the UK customer service in shops can be terrible. It’s especially annoying when someone is serving you and they are talking to their friend about what happened last night.
Domineering – (Meaning = inclined to rule arbitrarily or despotically; overbearing; tyrannical: domineering parents).
People who try to control others are not a good trait at all. Again this can often be seen in the office and at home. It is a form of abuse and can be hard to spot sometimes. Of course some people like to be dominated (stop that!!) but that is a choice, which is different altogether.
Dishonesty – (Meaning = not honest)
The trait that I abhor the most in people! Everybody lies whether it be a white lie or a big ‘honestly I didn’t kill him’ lie. However when someone lies constantly it is very irritating and annoying especially after you have pointed out that you know they are lying and they continue with it. I am teaching my boys that honesty is always always always the best way even if it feels difficult. If you are honest all the time it will lead to people trusting you more and valuing your opinion more.
Temperamental – (Meaning = describes someone whose mood tends to change very suddenly)
Sorry ladies, but I have found the most temperamental people tend to be female, especially if you’ve ever worked in an office. I don’t know if it’s the office air or sick building syndrome but people change as soon as they enter their office of work. I have seen me standing chatting to someone outside and then when I see them again in the office their eyes have turned blood red, little horns have sprouted from their heads and they talk like they’ve just smoked 100 cigarettes “ what the F%*& are you talking to me for”, at that point I’m outta there.
Conceited – (Meaning = Holding a high opinion of yourself)
Much like arrogance and just as annoying. It great to have a good opinion of yourself but when it is displayed to others in a manner as to make others feel small it can be very unpleasant.
Unreliable – (Meaning = cannot be relied or depended upon)
Another trait that can extremely annoying. Again we’ve all come across people like this at work, at school, at university, in fact every area of life. We also know, very quickly, not to rely on that person for anything. When reliability is not there we tend to think they have other traits related to this such as lazy, disorganised, selfish etc.
Dependent – (Meaning = relying on someone or something else for aid, support, etc).
I am talking here about people who are overly dependent especially in relationships. There is no bigger turn off for a person than the man or woman who seems to depend on your relationship to survive.
Pessimism –(Meaning = the tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes, results, conditions, problems, etc)
How to lose friends quickly = be pessimistic all the time. It’s quite funny when you get the grumpy guy in the office who moans about everything but deep down you know he likes the world. However when you get the person who moans about their job, their house, their life, their children, the world and are serious about it– how quickly do you run away from them? It can be very draining being around people like this they literally sap your energy.
Condescending – (Meaning = showing or implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority).
This is another trait which riles me. Of course this is open to interpretation in many cases. On a few occasions I have asked people if they are meaning to sound condescending and often they are embarrassed and explain that it was not their intention, so it can be a tricky one.
Conclusion Do you recognise yourself in the list above? If you do it is easy to rid yourself of these traits. The main trick is to recognise it when it happens. As soon as you recognise you can change you. For the next few days be aware of how you interact with people around you, listen to your language, be aware of what you do when you are listening, and be aware of what you do when you are talking.
Next week I will talk about deleting old traits and installing new traits. Sounds simple when you put it like that but it really is simple to install a new trait.
Why don’t you leave a comment and tell me what traits you hate.