So often I hear shame, frustration, guilt, anger, resentment, and sometimes a deep sense of hopelessness about food being the enemy from my kind, caring, compassionate clients "“ and I get it "“ I've been there. It's not a fun place to be in. In fact, it sucks.
But today, I want to ask you to open your mind and be willing to shift your perspective.
You with me?
Because what I'm about to tell you may be very different from everything you've ever been told. But hang with me"¦ (because this way of thinking was a radical change for me and it can be for you too).
Here's the deal"¦ Food is not your enemy (especially the right foods). You literally need food to survive. Vitamins, nutrients, antioxidants, and phytochemicals all come from real, whole, fresh foods. Food allows our cells to thrive, our muscles to move, and our bodies to miraculously function day in and day out, without us even thinking a second thought about it.
Food (or nourishment) is never the enemy.
It's why we eat when we're really not hungry that's the issue.
It's why we choose foods that we know won't make us feel good long term that makes us upset.
It's why we create a dysfunctionally functional relationship with food that's the real issue.
We tend to use food to fill a void and if it's not to fill a void, it's for immediate comfort. And usually at the core of the void or need for comfort is a lack of a deeper sense of connection and purpose to one's self, their community, and with their physical being "¦ aka their body.
My main goal in my Eat Love Thrive, virtual, 6-week coaching program is to allow women to find this deeper sense of connection and purpose. To be their own best observers of their life. And to show up for themselves the best they can, with what they know, for where they are right now.
It sounds simple, but boy oh boy is this a moment-to-moment practice that I'm still working on til this day.
It's worth the practice though because this quiet (non-judgmental) observation of why you do what you do will change your life. And the coolest thing about it is that you'll start to see that the answers stem within you, not outside of you.
To help you be your own best observer of your life, here are 3 questions to ask yourself when (or after) you find yourself emotionally eating, mindlessly eating, eating when you're not hungry, or eating for comfort.
#1 How was I feeling?
#2 What do I need more of in my life right now?
#3 How will I bring "the more" into my life?
Question #1: How was I feeling?
Get real with yourself. Be honest. Dig deep and ask yourself how you're really feeling. Once you discover that piece (even though you may not like it, it may be scary, or it makes you feel shameful) OWN it.
So often we're afraid of our feelings, or we don't want to admit that we're anything but superhuman. By pushing away our feelings, we only feel inauthentic and disconnected.
Communicate your feelings with the key players in your life. Allow yourself to simply sit and feel your feelings and be honest with yourself.
I 100% get that you may feel shame here, but the only way to remove shame is through vulnerability and speaking your truth, so speak (or write) your truth, even if it is just to yourself.
It's amazing what happens when we take ownership of our feelings. And it's equally amazing as to what happens when we share these soul answers with those in our circle "“ we immediately deepen the connection, naturally allowing us to work through the feelings instead of work around them. There's a substantial difference between the two.
Two of my favorite quotes that help me work with my feelings are:
"Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go." "“ Mooji
"The best way out is always through." "“ Robert Frost
Question #2: What do I need more of in my life right now?
I ask every client this question at some point or another.
This question, when you truly allow yourself to go there and uncover the answers that you already know (we all are our own best teacher), is g-o-l-d.
When you find yourself struggling, in a funk, or veering off your path and using food as a clutch, ask yourself what it is you truly need? And by "need," I don't mean "to be a size 4," "a six-pack," or "the latest hot boyfriend jeans." I mean what do you need on a SOUL level?
Things that will actually light you up inside, where you feel grounded, centered, and at peace. Think more connection, more movement, more joy.
Dig. Explore. Ask yourself: How do I want to FEEL?
Question #3: How will I bring "the more" into my life?
When you get to this question, you get to have some fun. You get to dream, design, and activate places of your imagination you haven't in a long time. So allow yourself to play with this!
Because here you get to see what you're actually going to do (yep "“ because we gotta DO to get) to help you feel how you want to feel.
If you want to feel more community, maybe you'll join a yoga studio, a hiking group, or a book club. If you're craving more joy, perhaps you'll start saying, "No," more, allowing you to spend more time with people, activities, and downtime that brings you peace. If you need more movement and ways to feel connected with your body, you may pick that activity back up that used to bring you so much joy years ago, or you may start by simply moving your body in a way that speaks to you now.
Bottom-line: no one is going to change you or your life, you've got to show up every day to do the work and if you're reading this, I absolutely, 1000% percent know you can do just that. So allow yourself to stop telling yourself you can't and find a different story because once you do, magical shifts are going to kick in.
Above all, I want you to know that you are NOT alone and no single human being is perfect.
So the next time you find yourself feeling shame, frustration, guilt, anger, resentment, or hopelessness around food, stop beating yourself up and instead, use these 3 questions to get curious about why you did what you did. Observe. And let your observations influence your actions to lead the way for change, fostering a healthy, confident, beautiful relationship with food.
You can "be in" on this. You already are. You're here.
Original Source of Article Posted With Kind Permission of Corinne Dobbas
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