The #1 Reason You Haven't Had More Success In Life

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I bet everyone of you dreams (at least sometimes) about having more money, love, joy, energy or health in your life? Right? And I also bet, that everyone of you has already done a zillion attempts to achieve just that. And though you had successes in some areas, I bet there are some areas, where you just couldn't make it happen, no matter what? You try, you push, you change approaches, but you'll always yield the same results. Why?

Because there is a subconscious mechanism within you, that won't allow you to succeed in those areas. It is sabotaging your own efforts, to make sure you won't leave your "Comfort Zone."

the_reason_you_have_not_had_more_successAlthough you might have heard of your "Comfort Zone" before, you might have never heard about a way to alter your Comfort Zone, so that it allows your dreams to become true.

Would you like to learn such a system? I bet you do, so let's go.

The Concept of Your Comfort Zone

You've heard the term "Comfort Zone" several times already. But although this concept is a true and useful one, it needs to be specified even more to become useful in tackling with your problems.

Your Comfort Zone has 3 key points:

  1. Your Unconscious Upper Limit (UUL) – The Stall Mechanism
  2. Your Unconscious Lower Limit (ULL) – The Kickstart Mechanism
  3. The Neutral State (NS)

We should get to know these 3 key points of your comfort zone a little bit more in detail.

Your Unconscious Upper Limit (UUL) – The Stall Mechanism

This subconscious limit will stop you from rising above a certain level of success, money, love or happiness. This is the internal barrier that you have built up in your head, that won't allow you to ever experience more joy, love, happiness, success or money, than you feel you are worth. It is like a plane going too high that will stall and fall down to a level, where the pilot is again able to catch the fall in a zone accustomed for the type of plane. If you compare it to a thermostat, this would be the temperature when it get's too hot and the air conditioner kicks in. And that is how your subconscious feels. It's getting too hot in here, so let's cool it down. This limit is tightly connected with the concept of self-worth.

No matter how much you believe in yourself as a limitless, spiritual being, we all have these limits in our minds.

Even the most successful people have them. They have just learned to raise them, so they won't stop them from achieving what they want.

It is not about whether you have an upper limit, it is about whether that one causes you trouble, frustrates you and hinders you from growing further at this time.

The Auto-Mechanism of Your Subconscious Mind

It is as if your subconscious had a built-in auto-mechanism driving you directly to the events that will guarantee the (maybe not so desired) outcome for you.

And that is exactly what happens. You have an internal feeling of comfort within a certain range. Let's go with a money example now. Let's assume you are making 60,000$ per year. And you did so for maybe 3 years now in a row. If I would ask you how sure you are that you would make 60,000$ next year, you might be pretty sure that you can make it again. What if I challenged you to make 70,000$? Well, you might feel a little bit uncomfortable about it, but not that much. You might have some ideas on how to get it. How about 80,000$, 90,000$ or even 100,000$. Now that uncomfortable feeling might be getting worser. Maybe you could imagine yourself making 80,000$ putting in a lot more effort, but I might have lost you with 90,000 or 100,000$. Then you might realize, that 80,000$ is your upper limit.

What Is the Psychological Reason for the Unconscious Upper Limit (UUL)

You subconscious is not your enemy. It is your friend. And it's only reason to install limits within you is to protect you.

It wants to protect you from harm and from being dissatisfied. There is safety in shooting low. Missing a goal you were really going for, could be a devastating experience for the self worth (as long as you identify your self worth with attaining that goal, but that is another point). And your subconscious doesn't want you to experience this pain. So going for less, for the safe side or the easy, achievable goal is a self-protecting mechanism.

Your Unconscious Lower Limit (ULL) – The Kickstart Mechanism

On the other side is another mechanism working. This limit is the lower threshold. This is how low you allow yourself to go, before all your instincts, all energy and focus is brought into play to get you back up. It is the level, where your subconscious associates a threat for your survival with the current situation. Again, comparing it to a thermostate, this is the point where it is getting too cold, so the heater kicks in. And so your subconscious gets you to move things and kicks in your efforts to get back into the comfort zone again.

Let's assume now, again you are making 60,000$ (and you did so for 3 straight years). How would you feel, if next year, you would only make 50,000$. Well you might feel uncomfortable again, but you might come up with some things you could cut your expenses on. Let's go even deeper – 40,000$ or 30,000$. I bet you won't feel so comfortable then. How about 20,000$ or even 10,000$. There is again a level, where your subconscious would scream "NO WAY – I won't allow this to happen. This is dangerous for my survival".

Well, even if it won't be threatening your physical survival (there are a lot of people surviving with less than 10,000$ or even less) there is a level where your subconscious associates massive pain with making only that much money. Again, you should find out that level for you.

The Neutral State (NS)

This is the state where you are okay with a situation. Not great, not bad, but okay. In the above mentioned example that might be making 60,000$ – or maybe not, depending on the feeling a person associates with this amount.

Establishing Your Comfort Scales

You need to establish your comfort scale, so you can exactly pinpoint how much comfort or discomfort you associate with anything. The key to this is focusing on your body feelings. Your body feelings will tell you much more precisely how comfortable you are with a situation, then your intellect.

Comfort is associated with body feelings.

Let's establish a scale from 1 to 10.

  • 1 being so much discomfort and pain, that there is no way to tolerate it. This is the ultimate life threat.
  • 10 meaning the most enjoyable state you could think of.
  • 5 would be neutral, so this would be the Neutral State (NS), where you are okay with a situation. It isn't great and it isn't bad, just okay. Although this sounds boring it is essential to know where this level is for you.

Now let's fill this theoretical scale with life. For this money is a great tool, because for most of us, money is an essential ingredient of life and therefore, a good measurement for our comfort level.

So remember the Comfort Scale:

1 (Ultimate Discomfort or Pain) "¦ 5 (Neutral, okay) "¦ 10 (Ultimate Comfort or Joy)

Establish your Comfort Scale for HAVING THE MONEY

  1. Consider you current annual income. Where on this scale are you with making that much money? Make a note, and experience how you feel in your body. Do you feel any signs of comfort or discomfort, when thinking about it? Look out for any change in your body: tightness, relaxation, warmth, cold, tingling, pain, sourness, nervousness, salivation just to name a few. This is your baseline point. It could be 5 or a bit below or above. Note that the baseline couldn't be 1, since 1 is so much pain, that you would find a way to change it, no matter what. Even if you are not satisfied on a conscious level with your income, there is a part within you, who feels comfortable enough with it not to change the situation.
  2. Think about how comfortable you would feel if you HAD 10%, 20%, 30% and more money per year. Go up as high as you like. Note for every amount, how comfortable you feel inside thinking about having it. Note for every new level the change in your body feelings.
  3. Then think about making 10% less per year or 20% or 30%. Note how your Comfort Level changes and how your body reacts to this.

What you should have at the end are the body signs, that signal you the different comfort levels of your scale. You should be aware how your body feels when confronted with the different levels of discomfort and comfort.

Establishing this scale once is a very important step of the procedure.

Now let's go one step further. This time don't think about having the money, think about MAKING it.

Establish your Comfort Scale for MAKING THE MONEY:

  • Start with your annual income. How comfortable are you with making it again next year?
  • Then go up 10%, 20%, 30% and higher. How comfortable are you with making that much more money next year?
  • Then go down 10%, 20%, 30% and lower. How comfortable are you with making only so little money?

Now compare those 2 scales, and you might be surprised.

You might find, that if you go lower than your actual income, that the pain of only making less money than you have is growing stronger but the trust in yourself that you can make it is also getting stronger. If you are currently making 60,000$, you will feel quite a discomfort about making only 40,000$ (maybe that is level 3), but you are quite sure, that you could make it (or better) next year (maybe Level 8,9 or 10).

Conversely, if you increase your annual income, you will find, that you would be quite comfortable with having it but the higher you go, the less you are sure, that you will make it. So if you currently are making 60,000$ making $90,000 would surely feel good (maybe level 6, 7, 8 or higher) but you are not so comfortable with your ability to make it (maybe 4 or even 3).

Remember – these levels are actual body feelings. This is key for the next step.

Raising Your Comfort Zone

Now you have 2 Comfort Levels for each $-amount. A Comfort Level for "Having the Money" and one for "Making the Money". Remember money is here just an example. I could also say you have 2 Comfort Levels for "Wanting it" and "Trusting in Yourself that you can make it happen".

The key to raising your Comfort Zone is by associating the feelings of comfort with the image of making a certain level happen.

Here is how to do it. The whole process consists of 2 Steps.

Step 1 – Dialogue With Your Fear

  1. Ask your subconscious, why there are feelings of discomfort associated with you making more money.
  2. Write down in your journey what comes to your mind. What negative consequences might be associated. Write them down.
  3. Consider if these are actual, real problems, that could occur. Then thank your subconscious for bringing them up and consider them in the future.

Step 2 – Associating Comfort With the Steps Beyond Your Current Comfort Zone

  1. Remember the good feelings of comfort in your body (choose intuitively from Level 6-10)
  2. Imagine doing the thing (e.g. imagine making 90,000$ – not having, but actually earning them)
  3. Now listen to your body. Once you really think about it, those old feelings of doubt, worry and discomfort will come back.
  4. If so, drop the picture and try to remember the feelings of comfort again in your body
  5. Bring back the pictures of you making it happen (e.g. making 90,000$)
  6. If your feeling of comfort vanishes, drop the picture again, bring back the good feelings and then bring in the pictures again.
  7. Continue to do so, until you are able to see yourself doing the things necessary to make it happen while at the same time feeling in your body feelings of comfort and trust.
  8. Repeat this process for at least a week, better 30 days. Do it at least early in the morning and before going to sleep. You can do it more often if you like. Once you've done it 3-4 times, you will get it much faster.

Once your subconscious has build a neuro-connection for this new couple (picture of future success and feelings of comfort), you will no longer need to push towards making things happen. You will feel yourself drawn towards them. This will be one of the most interesting and releasing experiences you will ever have.

How to Use This Process to Change Anything in Your Life

This process is not only able to change your comfort zone towards money. Money was just picked for demonstration purpose. You can use this process for anything you can quantify and rate on a scale from 1 to 10.

Could you rate:

  • your experience of love?
  • your feelings of happiness?
  • your health and vitality?

Of course you could and therefore you could use that process for all these areas. Try it and watch out for enormous changes happening to you.

Break through the glass ceilings that are limiting you in every area of life. Enjoy the ride.

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About the author

Patrick Stoeckmann

Patrick Stoeckmann is the founder of - one of the fastest growing blogs in the area of Personal Development. He has been trained by some of the most influential thinkers in the area of human development including Anthony Robbins and Tony Buzan. He is a professional and personal coach, a certified non-medical practitioner, a certified classical homeopath, owner of a highly successful computer consulting company, part time actor and trainer for acting and improvisational theatre. In a nutshell - he likes variety very much.