Self Esteem refers to the overall beliefs, opinions we have about ourselves; the judgments we make, the value we place on ourselves as individuals. It involves the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness from the ability to think/deal with the issues life.
Self-esteem fluctuates and it's affected by a series of encounters and events with other people. Each of us is unique in our own way and we possess various strengths and limitations.
These factors create our framework and as we seek to change or develop them, we move towards a higher level of self awareness and self acceptance.
Building/developing ones self esteem centers on being realistic: Taking a cautious and practical view of your goals, ambitions and desires.
My "˜prescriptions' are as follows:
This involves building on areas of strength, comfort, craft etc. One important fact of self development is identifying what you are good at. Do things which require little or no effort from you, things which make you feel better about yourself, things which make use of your own special talents and abilities. The result: a huge boost in energy levels and an increase in the level of self confidence.
In areas were you experience limitations; find out your insecurities, lack of confidence in these areas and the motivation for a change. Make only one change at a time, always checking your progress report before making further changes.
Feel good about yourself
- Always feel good about who you are (positively), where you are now and display confidence about what to look forward to in the future.
- Avoid excessive self criticism because over time, constant negative feelings result in negative affirmations.
- Spoil yourself occasionally, it won't hurt!!!!.
- Give yourself a pat on the back, appreciating where you've come from, what challenges or obstacles you've faced on the journey.
- Take time to rest and not push it, particularly when things come to a stand still and there's of wall of confusion around you. "˜LEARNING NEW THINGS REQUIRES PATIENCE, TIME AND DILIGENCE.'
Be Clear About What You Want
This is where being clear about your goals is very important. I have always advocated setting realistic goals. One of the major disputes I've had with several life coaches is creating unrealistic expectations in the minds of people and the end result is depression, disappointments, low self esteem etc.
In simple terms "˜YOU CAN'T BE THE NEXT DAVID BECKHAM, WHEN YOU CAN'T KICK OR DRIBBLE THE BALL.'
- You need to sit down and make a list of your abilities.
- Create the goals in stages.
- Be proactive, initiative and decisive about what you want.
- Be realistic about the time frames of your goals. "˜Low standards gives rise to little achievements while perfectionism undermines the pleasure derived in your exceptional achievements.'
- Think about how people you come in contact with assist you in reaching the desired goals.
Build your personal and physical appearance
- Fix up look sharp: Dress smartly and decently. It doesn't mean you have to buy expensive clothes all the time but look "˜cut out', creating a good first impression.
- Avoid being sluggish:It is said "˜people with confidence walk briskly and quickly because they are time conscious, have targets to achieve and deadlines to meet.
- Exercise often: You'd notice I didn't say go the GYM. Some people are comfortable going to the gym, others prefer jogging, walking…… Any form of physical exercise is okay as long as you stay in shape. "˜Being in shape' is relative; I believe a lot of people feel unattractive, insecure and less confident when they are out of shape.
- Remain Thankful: Be thankful for things you have, people who love you and have spent time impacting your life.
- Eat Wisely: Pay attention to what you eat. Remember "˜YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!!!'
I intend to continue from where I stopped in my next post, but in the meantime it would be lovely to note your "˜prescriptions'.