Update: Please click on this link for more information about The new Mind Alchemy course. All the links to the downloads have now been removed. I would like to thank all 800+ readers who expressed an interest in this course and for everyone who completed the course the first time round, it is becasue of you I could make the course better.
Before we start
You can still join the course by Clicking here
A few readers are now blogging about their experiences on the course, and it would be great to lend your support:
Read the interview I have done with Angela Artemis from Powered by Intuition
Read the interview I have done with Sandi Faviell from DevaCoaching
Watch an interview I made with Suzie Cheel on Mind Alchemy
Mind Alchemy Day 3
Welcome to day 3 of the MIND Alchemy course, I hope you are enjoying it so far and ready to take the next step on your journey?
We spoke yesterday of our motivation direction. You should now know what general direction your motivations lye, either “˜away from’ or “˜toward’.
Now you know what your motivation direction is, it’s time to learn how to inject a little fire into your outcomes, which we will be working on in day 5.
Today we will be looking at our core values, which guide our whole life on an unconscious level. we’ll look at ways of developing new values and look at the values that guide our life just now.
A lot of us have lost our direction in life, we’ve forgotten what we believe in, what values are most important to us and we wander aimlessly through life not standing for anything or anyone.
Making decisions becomes harder and harder, because we don’t know what our values and principles are in life, therefore we don’t know what we stand for.
Think about the most respected people that you know, people that you admire. Sometimes you might not know why you admire them so much, but if you look close enough, you’ll more than likely find it’s because they live their lives based on their values and principles, values that guide them through life and values that they don’t deviate from; they stand to protect.
What is a value?
Simply put our values are psychological constructs which determine the way we act, the way we dress, who our friends are, our self confidence, our beliefs; in essence our very being.
An example of values could be when you meet someone new in the workplace and have befriended them. You find out they have started to lie about silly little things and slowly your original opinion of them begins to change if one of your core values is to always be honest and transparent. If you find out this person lies all the time then chances are you will never be good friends as their values differ dramatically from yours. This is a simple example and obviously if that person has other values which match yours then there will be a play off as to which values win out.
Values provide valuable filters for us to live our lives and to a degree control the way we think about something or someone, control the way we behave and control how we act emotionally to the world around us, in other words the way we live our lives.
When we see the most successful people around the world we can quickly see what their values are how they have managed to get where they are today. people like Oprah Winfrey , Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Eben Pagan, Richard Branson, and Martha Stewart to name only a few. Their values obviously include; self-reliance, hard work, commitment, discipline and more if we were to dig a little deeper.
Away from and toward values
Just like yesterday we have values we move ‘away from’ and we have values we move ‘toward’.
You will no doubt have seen in the news recently that the people of Tunisia stood up for their values, and collectively managed to bring about a change in government after President Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali was forced to step down. This came about because the people of Tunisia became increasingly disillusioned with the government over unemployment, food price rises and corruption. They fought for what they believed in, stood up for their values and brought about change. Many people lost their lives by standing up to their values.
What were their values here? For a lot of them their values of security, comfort, and freedom will have been obstructed because of their perceived corrupt government. They wanted to move ‘toward’ their values of Freedom, security, and comfort so when one or more of those values were challenged they stood up and fought for those values.
Living by your values
I believe one of the ways to be truly happy in life is to live by our values, even if other people don’t agree with them, you’ll be known as a person of integrity, someone who stands up for what they believe in.
” We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values..”
How are values formed?
Your values are formed from a very early age through a process called imprinting and mostly influenced by your primary and secondary caregivers.
As you get older your values can be aligned with the teachers who work with you, your friends, and role models you associate with.
The power of values is what makes our society tick, laws are based around values, wars are waged because of cultural values, groups are formed through a shared set of values. Almost everybody we are friends with will have shared values.
When we keep digging we will find that values affect every aspect of our lives and that is why I believe it is so important to know your values and change and adapt our values.
How to know your values?
A simple exercise in finding out what your values are is to look at what you don’t like either about yourself or someone else. For example ask the questions;
Do you like people who are lazy?
Do you like people who are dishonest?
Do you like people who are pessimistic?
Do you like people who rely on you to get things done?
Do you like people who are closed minded?
Do you like people who are unfaithful?
By looking at the questions above you will discover what some of your values are, simply by knowing what you don’t like in other people. If you don’t like the fact that someone is dishonest one of your values, either weak or strong, is honesty.
To figure out more of your own values look at someone you like a lot and ask yourself what you like about them, conversely look at someone you don’t like and ask yourself what you don’t like about them, you will soon have a long list of values. More digging will uncover a list of values you would like to have or like to strengthen about yourself. A lot of people say I wish I was more like “˜her’ or “˜him’. What we are really saying is that we wish we could acquire their values.
An example of this would be assertive people. They are admired a lot because they can stand up for themselves and seem to say the right thing at the right time. A lot of people would like to have their values of; honesty, respect for others, self-reliance, independence, integrity etc. So if you admire a trait about someone, dig out the core values of that trait and align it with your own and work on the values that make up that particular trait.
You will find that everyone you admire and the qualities you like about them can be traced back to their core values and it is often transparent. so there’s no need to run up to Bill Gates and say “˜Excuse me Mr Gates, I know you’re a busy man, but could you possibly tell me what your core values are?’ This is not necessary because a little observation on your part can uncover their core values. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is based upon finding the good traits of others and modeling yourself on them. Steve Andreas in his book “˜NLP ““ The technology of achievement’ states that “If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it.”
Today’s exercise – Deciding what values you want
It’s now time to look at some values and decide what ones you would like to have:
Download today’s exercise worksheet
You might not be able to choose 10 values for every category, but it’s worth the effort of trying.
All of the values in the exercise are what we call ‘toward’ values i.e. Values that we want to bring into our life and that we aspire to live by these values.
We also have to look at the values that we want to move away from and that cause us pain in some way, however I think this exercise is big enough for now and we will skip looking at your ‘away from’ values.
Start living your core values
You will most likely have some of the values you have ticked from the todays worksheet and are already living them however there will be other ones which you are not living but would like to start living. Start putting them into practice immediately and start aligning yourself with your new values. Your might have higher priority values depending on the life category it’s in for example you might value honesty higher in your family category than in your workplace, as other values take precedence in the workplace.
An example of this could be the value of ‘Hard-working’; if you’ve previously been a lazy so and so and not too bothered about your quality of work, and want to be a hard worker start telling yourself that you are hard working and care about your work and take actions that show this. Start to look for evidence to prove that you are a hard worker, make the belief stronger. The more you do this the more hard working you will become and the more your new core value is imprinted in your mind. Does that sound too easy? that’s because it is easy. The hard part is uncovering a value you would like to become aligned to.
It’s important to remember that our values change over time, so it’s important not to adopt a value and think it’s rigid and cannot change. I am sure your value of health has changed from when you were 16 to your current value of health, at 16 we probably didn’t even think about our health.
Tomorrow we will be working on ‘Personal Vision statements’. Until tomorrow my fellow Mind Alchemists”¦”¦..
Action follows a thought”¦
This course is about taking action, and to become pro active in changing your life. Take time to do this exercise and really think about it throughout the day. You don’t need to wait until tomorrow to take steps to improve your “˜Wheel of Life’, but with the support and encouragement from all the members we can help each other and support each other, but ultimately “˜you have to bring something to the table!’
As always it’s good to talk about your experiences and share it with the rest of the members of the course, so let us know how this exercise went for you and if you gained any insights or had any revelations about yourself or your life.
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Or of course you can leave a comment below.