Mind Alchemy Day 12 "“ Letting go of Your Outcomes

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Mind Alchemy

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Mind Alchemy Day 12

Welcome to day 12, can't believe we're on day 12 already 🙂

Today we are going to release the energy blocks in our mind.   In Qigong, the Chinese believe "When Qi flows freely along the meridians, people are free from illness; If the Qi is blocked, the pain follows."   This is also true of the mind when we want something so badly in our lives that it blocks the energy from flowing.

Blockages in the mind

I believe that that we have blockages in our mind which can prevent us from moving on with our life, and essentially keep us stuck.

The blockages happen because we are trying too hard, trying to control too much or obsessing too much.

As an example of this I'd like to share a story from my past.

For years I had been dreaming about my perfect partner. I visualised a woman with long dark hair, she was petite, intelligent and able to stand up for herself. I pictured us having two children and I pictured the house we lived in, I gave it the works. I had this in my head for about 6 years. Every time I went out for a night out I would look for her.

I dated in-between but never really found anybody whom I could say "˜she's the one'. I eventually grew tired of looking and on the 19th July 2002 I was walking along Argyle street in Glasgow on my way to work, and I said to myself "˜that's it, I love being a bachelor and that is the way I will stay for the rest of my life' and at that I gave up the fight to find my perfect woman. During the day I was saddened as I hadn't found "˜the one'.

Earlier on in the week I had been asked to go to a 40th birthday party from some colleagues at work and I had said maybe but on that day I didn't feel like it, I was feeling a bit down.  I was cajoled into going to the party from a few friends at work.

I was chatting with a few friends on the night out and we were having a laugh and at 7.30pm a woman walked in wearing a red t shirt and a pair of brown cord trousers, I looked up and said "˜who the hell is that!' I later found out it was a colleague's sister. She was not interested in me at all at the beginning but then a song came on that I loved, I held out my hand and asked if she wanted to dance and it was electric.

Her name is Sharon, she had two boys from a previous marriage whom I adore, we have a fantastic house, we have a love that I have never known and I seem to grow happier every day.

I was holding onto the outcome too tightly, in my mind, that I didn't take the time to appreciate life around me.   As soon as I let go of the outcome it happened, quite literally.

The Butterfly point

In his book 'You can have what you want' Michael Neill talks about the 'Butterfly Point', which is

Imagine what you want is like a beautiful butterfly in your hands. If you squeeze too tightly the butterfly will be crushed, if you hold your hands too loosely, the butterfly will simply fly away. The secret is to hold it gently.

We can also start living life on our own terms if we can learn to let go of ourselves and stop holding our outcomes too tightly in our minds.   We have done a lot of work on our outcomes over the last few weeks now it's time to reach the 'Butterfly Point' with them.

The trick here is to focus on our outcomes but let go of them at the same time and that is what todays exercise is designed to do.

Today's exercise

Today, we are going to look at letting go and releasing some of the blockages in our mind, to help us have a healthier attitude towards our outcomes.

Download today's exercise sheet

Alternatively, just open up a word document and use this for doing today's exercise.

In this exercise we are going to look at all the amazing things that would happen if we reached our outcome.   Then we will look at the flip side and look at the bad things which might happen.   It may sound a little counter intuitive to do this, but it keeps us from obsessing too much and teaches us to let go of the outcome a little: 'If you squeeze too tightly the butterfly will be crushed.'

Always take steps toward your outcome but let go of the outcome itself, just let it happen in a more gentle, easier way.   You are detaching from your outcome without losing the desire for it.   This can be a hard concept to grasp.   the best example I can give here is in relationships.

We may have experienced a relationship in which either you or your partner was holding on to tight.   You may have done everything for the person, idolised them, wanted to be with them at all times, got jealous when the person spoke to someone else, had arguments about why they wanted to go out with their friends etc I think you know what I mean.   This is a type of control, and whilst it can be flattering for a week or two it becomes tedious and you soon start to view your partner as being needy or you become needy, and that means the relationship is bound to fail, unless something is done about it.   Letting go in relationships is all about trust and confidence, trusting yourself and trusting your partner, and having the confidence in yourself to be who you are.   If they do something to displace that trust then it's time to let them go, but whilst you are in the relationship you've got to have, and got to give, room to breath.


Tomorrow we will looking at organizing your life to organize your mind.  Until tomorrow my fellow Mind Alchemists"¦"¦..

Action follows a thought"¦

This course is about taking action, and to become pro active in changing your life.   Take time to do this exercise and really think about it throughout the day.   You don't need to wait until tomorrow to take steps to improve your "˜Wheel of Life', but with the support and encouragement from all the members we can help each other and support each other, but ultimately "˜you have to bring something to the table!'

Your thoughts

As always it's good to talk about your experiences and share it with the rest of the members of the course, so let us know how this exercise went for you and if you gained any insights or had any revelations about yourself or your life.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.