Psychology

Get Me Out Of This Mess!!!!

Written by Ayo Olaniyan

Ayo Olaniyan talks about how to find resolutions to life’s issues

As we walk through the journey of life, there would be obstacles in our way, giants to conquer, problems to deal with, disappointments to cope with, which could become stepping stones or stumbling blocks depending on how we perceive, handle or work hard towards finding a resolution to life’s’ issues.
I subscribe to the school of thought who believes “˜Not all things will happen the way we want them to, or go according to plan.’ Being able to deal with obstacles/problems swiftly, carefully and effectively could create a turning point in our lives.

There are several responses that occur when we face such challenges. There is a category of people, whose response would be to become so focused on the problem, thinking and worrying about their present circumstance, thus giving rise to sleepless nights, fear, discouragement, low self esteem….. If this builds up overtime a huge distraction is created and we no longer see it as POSSIBLE to find a way out.

mess

There’s another category of people who just sail through as if nothing ever occurred and they experience so much joy, happiness and success in finding solutions to their problems.

How did they arrive at this stage? My answer: They approached their problems in a different way to most people.

Here are my suggestions:

Stop Worrying: Stop thinking or worrying about the existing problem. We wouldn’t find any resolution doing
so and it will take us nowhere. There’s a tendency to adopt the “˜VICTIMS MENTALITY’, trading blames on anything and everyone, wishing we never went down certain routes, made certain judgements, taken decisions etc.

This is a very difficult phase but it’s very important because it keeps us from FEELING SORRY FOR OURSELVES and makes us proactive with a view to resolving our current problems. Worrying will get us nowhere.

Learn from your experiences: Good character, maturity and patience are developed when we learn positively from our experiences. We must accept as a fact what has happened and then look for as many ways as possible to reach a solution. This helps us concentrate on one thing: A RESOLUTION!!!

An important virtue acquired in this phase is endurance. Endurance builds our strength as we face tough
challenges.

Learn to appreciate who you are: Many times we seem caught up in our circumstances, failures, the
economy, negative events that we fail to APPRECIATE OURSELVES and what we’ve been through. We need to develop the habit of seeing a lot of good in ourselves no matter what state we are in.

There is usually a lot of good in us but it is often overshadowed by problems we face and being hard on
ourselves. If you think deeply, you will see positive sides to life.

Talk about it: There is a proverb “˜a problem shared is a problem solved.’ Learn to share your experiences with trusted friends, family, spouses, colleagues, etc. It expands your horizon and level of reasoning because there are different approaches to resolving different issues. Sound advice could help you solve your problems, reduce stress and bring about happiness.

Take a step: Take a step towards resolving the problem. Taking action moves you closer to finding a resolution and you are able to control the situation at hand. Take important steps to prevent the worst-case scenarios from occurring; highlighting, identifying and reducing the risk factors.

Taking a bold step, leaves you feeling empowered, reduces your worries and gives you a perception of events surrounding you.

On a final note we must make a conscious effort to focus on resolving our problems rather than drowning in it.

Be optimistic, keep hope burning fervently knowing that as long as there is breath in your nostrils, you can live each day with a purpose.

“˜It’s not over, until you accept it is.’

Do you want to get out of your mess? READ THIS AGAIN!!!

About the author

Ayo Olaniyan