We are going to experience many changes in our life. Change is the one constant that is a certainty but how many of us welcome change and how many fear change and are threatened by it?
Most parents overprotect their children by not allowing them to try, fail and learn another way to succeed. The parental focus is on making life easy for their children and preparing the ground for their smooth passage through life. This parenting role creates a Trust Fund kids mentality not only from a monetary viewpoint but from preventing them experiencing life’s challenges too.
I know many genuine Trust Fund beneficiaries and most have been robbed of real life’s challenges and growth as a human being. These Trust Funds kids go through life in first class and focus on acquiring shiny objects and thrills. This ego-based process creates an insatiable hunger for more and shinier objects and excitement, and that pit is bottomless. The explosion of using illegal narcotics in the fleshpots of the world is where many a Trust Fund kid ends up with rehab the next stop on their life’s journey. Rehab has a meager success rate. I consider being such a Trust Fund kid a curse and not a blessing.
The same Trust Fund kid mentality happens in lower middle class, middle class, and upper-middle-class homes too as parents overprotect their children from trying something new, failing and finding another way to succeed. If the parental attitude changed from removing the word “failure” and instead using the words “ a learning experience” then children would seek new learning experiences knowing they will be admired for attempting something even if they did not succeed. Each time a child stretched itself beyond their comfort zone, they grow experientially, and now their comfort zone extends too.
Parents allow their children to learn to walk unaided because the parents know that in time their children will walk properly. But why stop there? Encourage your child to attempt whatever they want to do, providing they won’t severely damage or kill themselves in the process. Broken bones will heal in six weeks but a broken spirit of lack of self-belief through being too scared to attempt something new will remain forever.
Self-confidence comes from learning to have the ability to do what is required when it is needed. Such self-esteem comes from trying and doing and picking yourself up and trying again, perhaps a different way, and then succeeding. The proven success builds confidence including having a positive mental attitude that one is capable of achieving their goals.
In most classes at school, there are one or two children who have such self-confidence and the other children gravitate to them as their leaders. Success breeds success. These confident children weren’t born with such inner confidence, it was learnt by having the opportunity to challenge themselves and to try and fail and then succeed. The confident child’s parents allowed their child to get outside their comfort zone and experiment with new challenges to grow and to learn.
Victors and victims in life begin in their formative first seven years where their role models are their parents and other siblings. The Jesuits have a saying “Let me have your son for the first seven years of his life, and I will bring you back the man.”
Learning to embrace change is the starting point of building such inner self-confidence. My acronym for CHANGE is Clearing Healing And New Gifts Emerging.
Change then becomes a process of growth as you clear out what is no longer required, such as fear of the unknown. The process continues, and you heal from the fear being ripped out of you, and you find new gifts that were waiting for you at the other end of your comfort zone. You then emerge as a human being who has grown through the process of removing fear and replacing it with hope and attained success.
Such CHANGE is the road that Victors in life choose to travel. They embrace the challenges of change as learning experiences and as a necessary part of the journey. They build their self-confidence one attained success at a time and look for more and more challenges brought upon by change in their lives.
These are the real Trust Fund kids as they have a self-created Trust Fund of succeeding in handling life’s challenges brought about by the need to change and grow.