Personal Development

9 Things Introverts Won’t Tell You

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Introversion is among the major personality traits widely discussed all over the world. Introvert people focus on their own thoughts, moods, and feelings more than they seek external motivation. They are more secretive, quiet and meditative. Even after being in social places and interacting with people, introverts will feel the need to be alone. This way they will feel energized. Some do not like social interaction at all and they tend to avoid them at all costs.

However, introverts do open up often to the people close to them and who they know they can trust and in turn, they will not be judged. For, other people, there are some truths that even though an introvert would want to share, they will never tell you.

Here are the 9 things introverts won’t tell you:

1. We don’t want to attend the party you invited us to

Introverts find it hard to say no to people even though they don’t like the idea you are suggesting. They may not want to attend that invite party with you but because they do not want you to ask a lot of questions, they would rather just tag along. Such are the people that you would find isolated when the party is rocking.

Some may enjoy going to the parties, not because they are excited to meet new people, no. They go there to spend time with people they already know and are comfortable around. Their aim is not to meet new friends.

2. This talk is boring, we don’t want to listen to it

An introverted person does not like small talk. So, while you are there with your chit-chats thinking you are making them happy, you are actually annoying them. They believe these idle chat results to anxiety. To others, these talks are nothing but lies. They may want to tell you to stop just as badly, but they won’t. They will just sit there and pretend to like it since they do not want to complicate the situation.

Generally, introverts hate small talk because they believe it creates barriers between people.

3. We actually don’t like you but we pretend that we do

Introverts do not like many people in their circle. They are acquainted with and trust only a few. It can be due to many reasons from when they were growing up to who they encountered this morning. Unfortunately for them to survive they have to pretend to blend in with other people and be nice to them which sometimes is hard especially for them, and they won’t tell you this because they do not want to hurt your feelings.

4. Introverts don’t need your help, they can do it on their own

Introverts will tell you that they need their alone time to concentrate on their stuff. Be it a project they are working for or a big idea they came up with. They would rather bury themselves in research than find help. You offering to share the knowledge you have may be a waste of time and a bother to them.

They believe that when they spend time alone they are able to experiment with new concepts and expand their imagination. To introverts, working in solitude with minimal destruction can help them come up with life-changing innovations.

5. We don’t care about your life event celebrations, don’t care about ours either

It doesn’t make any difference when you remind an introvert that next weekend is your birthday and that you are inviting friends over for a party. You will be expecting them to feel all excited and offering to throw you a party but no, they won’t. They are really not looking forward to joining your group of friends for a celebration. All they want to do is go home after work, get rested and wake up to work again. Their work revolves around their home and the office.

Don’t feel excited either if you know their birthday is around the corner. Some don’t even celebrate the event. If they happen to celebrate then they will invite only a few friends who they feel care about them and don’t be surprised if you will be missing in the list.

6. Being with you is a choice, embrace it

These people love their time alone. They are very choosy about who they hang out with. They would want you to appreciate the time they are spending with you or they will leave. Most of them choose to hang out with other introverts instead of extroverts who to them, neither know their limits nor respect boundaries.

7. We don’t hate people, we just love being alone

An introvert will tell you that they have a lot going on in their mind that they need time alone to reminisce. Others believe that spending time in the company of friends will only add to their stress rather than solving their problems. Introverts do not need advice from others, they can work their issues out on their own.

These people also hate being told what to do. For them, they know the best mode of entertainment, best food, the best time to hang out etc. Do not interfere with their program.

8. We are not shy. Neither are we impolite nor hot-tempered

Because they like spending time alone, getting to know them can be a bit difficult. You might think they are rude or hot-tempered when they tell you off on stuff they don’t like. But after knowing them you can easily hold a conversation. For them, socializing is optional, do not force it on them. Sometimes they do not like talking about certain topics. Not because they are shy, they just don’t like it.

9. We don’t like going to networking events

This is for those introverts who operate businesses. The problems come when other business partners are sharing their achievements. Introverts don’t like people knowing what they are up to, especially strangers. This makes them feel they are being forced to deliver. This kind of people also finds a hard time trying to listen attentively. For them, even when it comes to business they have to be connected to someone they know and trust.


Most people are unaware that they are introverts because they believe being an introvert is being shy. However, introversion comes with a lot more, from avoiding human interaction at all costs to not sharing that which you really ought to.

In a world that celebrates extroverts, it is a big blow to introverts because most people do not take time to understand them, save for their closest friends. That is why an introvert will try to tell you any of the above things to try and improve your relationship but they never get to say them.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.