Everyone needs to be loved and to love. But most people want to feel loved before loving others. Do you agree with me?
You should. Welcome to the selfish world. Nobody is ready to give without getting nothing in return, and nobody likes the scary, lonely experience which results from giving your all and getting nothing in return.
Here’s a bit of more clarification. We’ve seen cases where people are lonely even in their relationship because one party is giving so much while the other is offering close to nothing.
So how do most people react to this?
They go out putting on a well-staged personality drama to get people to like them and to gain a sense of “belonging.” We all want to belong to something or someone, a family, a friend or a lover. This action has done more harm than good, especially to youngsters.
Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” ? Jodi Picoult
I knew of a young guy who perhaps never got the love he so craved for from his parents and close relationship. He ended up engaging in shady activities, smoking, drinking and doing drugs, as long as he got the love and attention and the sense of belonging, he’s ready to put up with these new habits. What about countless stories of people who end up committing suicide because they feel so lonely and rejected? These victims end up disappointed for depending on others to provide for their emotional need and happiness.
You probably are familiar with stories like this, or perhaps you’ve had your share of experience. Truth is the world we live in is full of people having faked personalities, professing fake feelings and making false promises. Many are scared to put themselves out there for fear of worst situations like heartbreaks and depression.
Research has shown that many cases of loneliness have led to depression which in turn leads to suicide cases. How can one live in this kind of world without feeling unhappy? How can you live with loneliness and be satisfied?
#1. DO NOT BUILD YOUR HAPPINESS ON PEOPLE OR THINGS:
If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more. Roy T. Bennett
Why build your happiness in people or things which would not last? You will be doing yourself a great deal of help if you do not depend on anyone to make you happy. I say this because you are a master of your own emotions. You can choose to respond with happiness in any situation even in your single state.
Here’s how it has worked for me! I’m happy because I chose to be, no self-attachment. Until you learn how to charge the joy from the inside, nothing will make sense to you.
#2. APPRECIATE YOUR LONELY MOMENTS
How? By seeing it as an opportunity to build strength. As a writer, my lonely moments are times when I read to gain more knowledge. You too can get busy during your boredom building your Inner strength.
Give it a try! It work like a charm.
#3. DO FUN STUFF WHEN ALONE
There is a whole lot of fun you can catch on your own. Do you like cooking? Why not find a new recipe for that favorite dish of yours or instead try out an entirely new dish. Yours might be dancing, singing or chatting online. This might be a perfect time to do that one thing you enjoy. Just do it!
#4. GIVE YOURSELF A TREAT
Giving yourself a treat is far better than sitting in your boredom. Go out, treat yourself to a nice meal in a fine restaurant, go shopping, go on a tour, visit that place you always dreamed of, take pictures, make videos and you will be just fine. Who knows you might meet genuine people who share your likes and interest. Because though the world is as it seems, there are still people like you who want to be accurate and find faithful people. You will meet these people and voila! To hell with loneliness.
#5. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Being alone for some time might bring to your mind thoughts like you are destined to be alone for what seems like an eternity or that no one will ever care for you. And then you wear these thoughts on your face, in your words and actions wherever you go. You have to shake off these mindsets and start believing that you’re not alone in your single state and it’s just a stage which will eventually pass.
#6. EXPRESS YOUR TRUTH
This might seem hard but it’s the best way to bring back a spark in your relationship with friends and family. At your single state, you feel less interested in socializing, and this makes you start turning down opportunities to socialize. You have to challenge yourself to get out and find ways to connect with those who now seem far away like your family and friends, by just telling them your truth “I feel lonely.” You will be surprised at the love and care that comes your way afterward.
#7. GIVE AND LOVE
Be the one who gives and loves; you don’t have to be selfish cuz no one is giving back. Giving makes us fulfilled, while withholding makes us feel empty, lacking, and needy. When you open your heart to love, giving becomes easy and not just giving in monetary terms, but also giving your time, a warm embrace, a simple compliment and a smile to brighten another’s days. When you do these, you begin creating an atmosphere strong enough to overcome your loneliness.