Personal Development

7 Mental Habits That Will Keep You Unhappy

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Happiness. Something that is so easy to be, is deep inside of us already, all the time, yet so hard to have. Why is that? Why do we keep blocking ourselves from something we so desperately want? Many of us buy happy. Bigger houses, nicer jewelry, more dresses, more boots. We just keep buying and buying, desperately seeking happy. We all know, you can't buy happiness. Try all you want. You will only buy temporary happiness.

If happiness is inside of us already then what is it that we are doing that is blocking us from achieving it? There are many factors and forces, some external, but mostly internal, that keep us from embracing the happy that is buried deep inside. Here are 7 things you could be doing right now that is keeping you from happiness.

habits_happy1. Lack of appreciation.

Especially all the little things. It's all the little things that can fill your heart with happy much quicker than the big stuff. Not only that, when we show appreciation for all the things that we have, yes even your shitty job, suddenly more sweet little things show up and your job slowly becomes not so shitty after all.   Take time every day to appreciate every single thing in your life. The good and the bad.   Won't be long before the bad turns into good too and then you're happy.

2. Complaining.

Which is a horribly negative trait to have anyway, and also ties in to lack of appreciation, but really, complain less. About everything. Try and go one day with no complaining whatsoever and see what happens. You end up smiling more. You also see that there really isn't too much to complain about in your life anyway. The end result? You will end up just being that much happier.

3. Judging.

The more we judge, the more we see ugly in things, the m ore ugliness we see, the less we feel happiness. When we judge, we fail to see the beauty in things and remember there is beauty in everything all around us. When we see the beauty, and only the beauty, we see love and happiness. Judging is time vampire. Time that could be well spent finding love and happiness rather than criticizing something we know nothing of.

4. I can't do this.

I'm not good enough. I don't deserve this. I'm too stupid to know how to do that. Any of those limiting beliefs sound familiar? The more we tell ourselves negative things and stay stuck in those limiting beliefs, the unhappier we will be, and stay. Instead of telling yourself you can't, aren't, won't, shouldn't, etc. try telling yourself you are amazing and can do anything and you are smart and good enough. Convince yourself that you are awesome. Keep doing it and the mind will have no choice but to believe you. And then, more happiness enters into your life.

5. Overanalyzing.

Which also equates to worrying too much for nothing. Oftentimes we worry about things that haven't even happened yet and 9 times out of 10, don't even end up happening. You've wasted all those hours and days worrying about an imaginary thing. The less you worry, the happier you will be. If there is something that is troubling you, take the negative variable out of the equation and give it a positive spin. Give it happy energy. Happy energy outside, happiness inside.

6. Holding a grudge.

This really is just a time and energy vampire. If you are doing that you need to dump it immediately. The person you are holding a grudge against doesn't care that you are holding a grudge and I'm pretty sure they couldn't care any less. You are giving them more of your time and energy than they deserve. Not only that, when we hold a grudge there is a little pot of boiling anger in our heart and soul. No wonder you're not happy. Get rid of it. Right now. Forgive them and move on, in peace, joy and happiness.

7. Being jealous.

There's no need to be. You should be happy for everyone and everything. Happy for others' successes, happy that your best friend just bought a new car, happy that your friend found a partner even if you've sort of both been looking at the same time. Just be happy for people. Jealousy will keep you trapped in misery. This being happy for everyone may take some practice but start doing it. The more you feel happy for them, the more you will feel happiness inside of you. It's a win win really.

You see, in order to be happy, we just need to dump the negative stuff, one thing at a time.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.