Everyone hates to hear the word no. When we want something that we think is good for us, when someone tells us no, we're heartbroken, frustrated, pissed off and agitated. It's almost like getting punched in the gut. I know that's how I feel when I hear no, or should I say, that's how I used to fee l. Like someone just slammed you, hard, and left you hanging high and dry. Your hopes and dreams left in a puddle at your feet. With your tail between your legs, you walk away.
Yes, that's what no does. Rejection isn't just the actual word no but also the physical act of rejection from someone or something. You want to hang out with someone and they simply don't call or text you back, or ever. You apply for a job and you never hear back from the company. You want your ex back (why you would want that is beyond me) and they completely ignore you. Rejection comes in a few different forms and we don't like any of them. Plain and simple.
It took a little bit of personal development work and studying for me to get past the fear of rejection and I can say almost 100% I've kicked it to the curb, but every now and then I get that gnawing in my stomach. I have learned to deal with it, however, and I'd like to offer up some pointers in hopes that you can get past your fear of rejection too.
1. It's not you, really.
If it's a job you really want ed and you didn't get it, it's not because you suck or you're not good enough. It simply isn't the job for you and the universe is holding out for something better for you. Remember this next time you are out looking for work or have an interview for a job. Don't be hesitant because you may get rejected. Apply with confidence and just know that if you didn't land the job, it's because you're too good for it.
2. Act like you can live without it.
Whatever it is. If you can't have it for whatever reason, tell yourself that you don't really need it nor did you really want it in the first place. It was just a thing that you thought you might want but in the end you realized your life will still be perfectly fine without it. Have a devil may care attitude towards it.
3. Embrace new opportunities.
You love new things and you have a bit of an extrovert personality in you. Remember if you are constantly fearing rejection, you will miss out on new opportunities. What if you were going to get a yes but you held back on even asking? You just missed out on something that could have been spectacular because the fear of rejection took over and made you question your motives. Let it be. Take chances.
4. How's your determination these days?
How bad do you really want something? Yes, there will be a chance that you might get rejected but you won 't know until you try or ask. And even if you do get shut down doesn't necessarily mean that's the final answer either. Push a little more. Chances are a yes might be coming your way after all. If you let your fear of rejection stop you from getting what your heart truly desires then may be you better check your determination and ambition. Be bold.
5. Find out where this fear came from and deal with it.
Is this fear from childhood? Did something happen in your teen years? Was it something someone said to you one day and you've been afraid ever since? Have a look deep inside or trip down memory lane to find out the root of this fear. All fears can be dealt with in some way. Time line therapy is a great way to help with this and shoo it away once and for all.
These are just a few things I had to go through to nip my fear of rejection in the butt once and for all. It may take a few tries for you but after a while you' ll get it and fear will have no place or no room in your life.