Happiness doesn’t just come to people by chance, it may seem that some people have ‘the gift’ but they are proactively moving through life in such a way that is making them happy. What you will find is there are also things that they are NOT doing that greatly enhances their chances of happiness.
Below are 5 things that could be ruining your chances of being happy.
1. Focusing on What You Want and Missing Out on What You Already Have
If getting everything that we ‘wanted’ made us happy then all millionaires and billionaires would be happy, right? The challenge is, this really isn’t the case, if it was we wouldn’t be reading about so many celebrity trips to rehab and depression clinics.
You are putting yourself in a position where you are training your brain to place happiness as something in the future. You are always saying to yourself: “I’ll be happy when…”If you think like this, your happiness will always be in the future!
To be happy you need to start with what you already have. What can appreciate right now? Your health? Your friends? Your ability to see? Whatever it is for you, bring it to the front of your mind and realise how happy you are about it.
2. Constantly Criticizing Yourself
We are all excellent and being our own worst critic. Are you allowing yourself to self-criticize to the point where it is becoming ridiculous? You know the thought process: “I can’t believe I didn’t make that sale. I’m going to get sacked now. I won’t be able to pay the mortgage. Now everyone is going to hate me.” This may be a slight exaggeration but you get my point. How is possible to be happy if we have thoughts like this bouncing around our heads all the time? The fastest way to fix this faulty thinking is to transform the inner criticism into inner ‘coaching’ as soon as it happens. For example, if you hear yourself say something like “I can’t believe I didn’t make that sale. I’m going to get sacked now”, quickly transform it into some self-coaching like, “What have I learned from that call that will enable me to do better next time and become good enough to get a promotion?” This may take a little practice, of course, but when you find yourself doing it automatically, you will be happy a lot for often.
3. Placing too Much Value on What Others Think
Are you deciding what shoes to buy based on what other people are going to think? Do you ever keep quiet when you have a new idea so you don’t upset the status quo? For true happiness to be present in your life you have to be your authentic self all of the time. If that means you love bright green shoes, by all means grow your collection of bright green shoes! It’s who you are.
When you get to a point where you have stopped other people dictating who you are and what you do, you will reach a level of happiness that you never even imagined was possible.
4. Spending Time with ‘Energy Drainers’
It may sound like a cliché but you really are becoming who you are spending most of your time with. The way we think and act will eventually harmonize with those that are closest to us. This is wonderful if you are surrounded by happy, positive, ambitious people all day long but if you aren’t, you are robbing yourself of your true happiness.
5. Focusing on your Goals so much that you Forget the Present Moment
I love setting goals and I believe that they are integral part of success and happiness. However, if you are too busy focusing on the final destination; the chances are you are missing out on the splendor of the journey. All of the little triumphs and successes are easily missed if we don’t celebrate them. It is essential that you regularly remind yourself to enjoy the present moment. An amazing way of doing this is to STOP and realize how grateful you are to be making progress today and how much fun you are having right now and why.