We're so hard on ourselves. Really. How often do you hear yourself saying "Omg I'm so stupid, I can't believe I did that?" and other such negative queries? Even though we definitely are a result of our upbringing, even people who were raised in a supportive and loving environment still fall prey to bout s of negative self-talk or mental beatings. Sometimes we just spew out negative declarations without giving them much thought. It's not until later you may find yourself wondering why you said such a derogatory thing about yourself and make a note to try to curb that in the future.
It's easy to continue this vicious cycle. Negative talk, reprimand yourself for doing it, promise to not do it again and then tomorrow, do it again. We expect perfection from ourselves and when we fail to perform up to our ridiculously high standards, the mental beating starts.
Have you about had enough of that yet? You are aware that your self can hear you say all those negative things, right? You say I can't and your self says, ok. You say I'm dumb and your self says, yup you are. It doesn't know any better. It only knows what you tell it. Ready to turn that into something more positive? Here's how.
1. Start the day off right.
First thing in the morning , as soon as you wake up and right after you say thank you, you should be greeting the day, and your self, like this "Good morning beautiful/handsome, you're awesome!". When you start the day like this it will automatically make you smile and feel super great about yourself. This is a great little exercise and though it may not be easy to do at first, once you get the hang of it, it will come naturally to you.
2. Stop yourself in your tracks.
As soon as the first negative comment comes out of your mouth or into your head, stop it right away. You'll hear it creep up and before the thought has a chance to finish just yell STOP. Ok I don't mean yell like alert the neighbours and have cops surrounding your house within 5 minutes, but loud enough to jolt the thought and make it go away. You already know how it will end if you don't stop it immediately.
3. Analyze it.
If you didn't get a chance to stop that thought (though I really hope you did) take a moment to figure out why you had it, where it came from and how you can avoid having it in the future. Did you flub something up really bad? T hat's ok, we all do silly things like that. Did you say something inappropriate to someone? Just apologize to them. It's never too late for redemption. Get to the bottom of your negative statement and work it out. When you start doing this, their frequency will lessen.
4. Get a little exercise.
Yes I get it. Not everyone likes to exercise. But how about getting outside for a nice walk and some Vitamin D too? All that fresh air and sunshine can only inject you with positive freshness and make your feel good hormones kick in. The better we feel about ourselves, the less we will mentally beat ourselves .
5. Spend time with people who worship the ground you walk on.
There are people who absolutely love and adore you and can't ever think of anything bad to say about you. Hang out with them. Way more often. This is fabulous for your self-esteem and your ego (careful not to let the ego get too big though). Often when we go through ours elf-doubting periods, it's always nice to be around the people who can lift us up from there. Their words will ring in your head for a long time afterwards. If they tell you you are amazing, believe them. They mean it.
Mentally beating yourself comes at a high price and I think many of us don't realize the implications. Continually doing this will lower your self-confidence to a dangerously low point where you will think it impossible to achieve greatness. Remember, we are all brilliant and we all have greatness within us. Try talking nice to yourself from now on and watch what happens.