Personal Development

5 Beliefs You Need To Let Go of to Put Yourself First

Theresa Ho
Written by Theresa Ho

You are tired of saying yes to others and putting yourself last.

You know you should take care of yourself first.

After all, how many times have you heard people use the metaphor “˜put the oxygen mask on yourself first’ in an emergency situation before helping your child on a plane?

You know the importance of filling your own cup first or you will end up with nothing to give to others.

Yet for some reason, your beliefs gets in the way and it holds you back from taking care of your own needs.

yourself_first1. You believe people will stop liking you.

Some will. Some won’t. So What? Next. – Unknown

You are afraid people will start to dislike you if you start to say no and set boundaries. You believe you’ll lose the love and connection you have with people.

The reality is people will judge you left and right. Those who truly love you will continue you to stick by your side no matter what.

At first it may be difficult for them to understand what is going on but they will adjust to the new you.

Because I’ll bet those who love you would will not stop liking you. They would rather hang out with you when you are happy rather than see you exhausted.

And wouldn’t you rather spend your energy and time with people who loves you back for being just the way you are?

2. You pride yourself for being a tireless caregiver.

Admit it.

Deep down you are proud of how much you do for others.

Even though you are tired, it gives you a sense of purpose. And secretly you don’t know who you’d be if you start to put yourself first.

The truth is when you start to balance your needs with others, you’ll have so much more to give.

3. You Believe You Will Miss Out

Need I say more? You are too busy keeping up with the latest trends, hippest scene and checking out what everyone else is doing. You are afraid if you don’t keep up with all your friends you will miss out on the fun and opportunities.

Reality check.

What you see on people’s social media pages is skewed. You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes in their lives.

When you start over comparing your life with others instead of enjoying your own, you miss out on living out your own life.

Next time when you feel like you are missing out, ask yourself

Is this something I even really want to do?

Is this an accurate representation of reality?

Is this something that will enhance the quality and experience of my life?

If you said no to two or more questions, chances are you are not missing out.

So next time I dare you to say no to people’s invite. Save your energy and zest for doing something you actually want to do.

If you got to do something because it’s part of your job etc., find ways to compromise and negotiate. Ask for what you want. Find a happy medium with the other parties so that you come to an agreement to willingly do something not compromising your integrity.

4. You believe you are not worthy

Growing up you are taught to put others first.

When this is practiced continually it becomes a habit to negate your own personal needs. Unconsciously this implies that your need and wants are not as important as other, which can lead you to believe you are not worthy.
When you neglect your needs you can begin to feel resentful and depressed.

5. You believe you are responsible for others

When you play the part of caregiver, it is easy to feel responsible for the needs and emotional wellbeing of those you love. But you are not responsible (other than for your children ““ to what age is to be debatable).

Some questions to ponder upon:

Is it possible by caring too much and taking on the responsibility of your friends and family can hinder their ability to think for themselves and stifle their growth?

How would you feel if they are not able to develop their own ability to respond to situations by themselves when you are not around?

Do you actually have control over every moment of their life?

You know self-care is extremely important.

Before you run yourself to the ground and push yourself to the breaking point.

Ask yourself is it worth it?

Is it worth it to keep things afloat as you continue to strive to be perfect, to please everyone when you are running on half empty all the time?

When your physical and mental health is taking a toll?

Don’t wait until it is too late to start taking care of yourself first, because it is the only way you will maintain your health and healthily give to others.

So start practicing say yes to what your body, mind and heart needs.

Find a way to balance “˜me’ with “˜we’.

Your Being will Thank You.

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About the author

Theresa Ho

Theresa Ho

Theresa Ho is an 80's music lovin' old fashioned drinkin', freedom-lovin' Wellness Travel expert sent to help people travel to recharge from their daily grind. Treat yourself now. Get ideas for your Next Getaway and Tips on How to Stay Well HERE. Follow her on Instagram (@happyfreelifestyle) and Facebook.