Personal Development

4 Reasons Why You Always Should Spit Out Your Feelings

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We do it all the time. We hold in our feelings and we only show them when we really have to. Sometimes there are certain things in our life that prevent us from opening up and showing our feelings. Even though sometimes holding your opinion in isn't even that big of a deal, in other situations cropping up your feelings can lead to some unpleasant consequences. Therefore, lets take a look at the reasons why you should show your feelings not only when you need to, but also when you want to!

express_feelingsIt prevents miscommunication

When you're not expressing your thoughts and feelings towards the person you're speaking with then two things can happen: you're creating an awkward situation or you're so good at faking that they think that you're fine with a certain decision or whatsoever and you continue on with the conversation. As you probably already realize, both options are bad. If you choose for the first option then you're lying to yourself and if you choose for the latter one then eventually this will backlash at you in the form of a random outburst of emotions towards that person. The person you were talking to could think that he/she did something wrong when in fact you were the one that wasn't completely honest. By not being transparent with each other, no matter if it's a partner, friend or a family-member; you're seriously putting the relationship with that person in jeopardy. Nobody likes being lied to, so in order to prevent damaging your relationship with someone you care about always try be as transparent as possible. It's better to be slapped with the truth than to be kissed with a lie!

Opening up lowers stress

We all know what stress is and what it can do to your body and mind. One of the solutions to lower the amount of stress in your life is to be honest with yourself. We often stress about what other people think of us and how they perceive us. Therefore we don't want to leave a wrong impression on people by saying something that you think that they won't agree with or that they'll take the wrong way. But when you behave differently every time around a different person, you'll also have to maintain this "˜image' of yourself and this causes cognitive dissonance. When you're experiencing cognitive dissonance you're attitude and behavior aren't aligned with each other and this causes you stress. That's why you need to make sure that your mind and behavior are aligned with each other and the best way to do that is by expressing your own attitudes and feelings regardless of how people will think of you.

You'll find out who really cares

Sometimes we keep our feelings to ourselves, because we might think that others won't take us seriously and that they won't care. If your friends, partner or whatever person you consider that you're close with won't take your feelings seriously then you're in the wrong environment. A person who truly cares about you will never take your feelings for granted or just tell you to; "˜shake it off'. Consequently, a great benefit of opening up to people is finding out who the people are that you can count on when you're having problems. Surround yourself with these people in your life, because they are ones that will always lend a listening ear, regardless of your situation.

Your self-acceptance increases

When you decide to always tell people how you really feel without compromising yourself, you'll begin to love yourself even more than you already do. Furthermore, you'll also start to feel more powerful.   Powerful in the sense, that you'll realize that you don't always have to agree with the public view or that you can show your vulnerable side by opening up, without immediately your confidence being negatively affected. You know who you are and you're not afraid to hide it, and that attitude is a "˜keeper' if you want to live a life full with joy and fulfillment.

Of course, sometimes it's "˜not the right time' to tell someone how you feel about a certain subject and it isn't always even necessary either. But what you never should allow is feeling forced to keep your mouth shut and therefore compromising the "˜real' you. Like the great Oscar Wilde said; be yourself, everyone else is already taken.'

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About the author

Krishan Kalpoe

Krishan Kalpoe is the founder of Shrinksdom & an aspiring psychologist who has a passion for personal development and wants to share his knowledge with the world for the purpose of making people's lives better.