Personal Development

10 Things You Need To Know Before You Start A Long Distance Relationship

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So you've finally found true love. Isn't it bliss? A match made in heaven. Where have you been all my life? No seriously, where? Clear across the country apparently. It seems that internet and online dating has become one of the most, if not the most, popular ways to find love these days. You can screen the other person as if you are taking them through a polygraph exam. You get to spend all kinds of time finding out all about them before you finally meet and then when you do, the sparks fly. Yes, love is bliss.

long_distance_relationship2And now for the challenge. You are hours away from each other. For some, it's not just 3 or 5 hours by car either. Nope, for some it's hours away by plane. It's great, but it can suck. Yes, it's not going to be all it's cracked up to be. Your new partner doesn't live a block away like your last one did. This one is going to come with many many challenges. Are you ready for them?

1. You will still spend many weekends alone.

If you got into a relation ship because you were lonely, being in a long distance relationship isn't going to cure that. You're still going to be lonely. You're just going to be lonely and in love.

2. Travel costs money.

Lots of it. Gas, airfare, boat, whatever your method of transportation is going to be, I assure you, it won't be free. Make sure you have extra cash to spend on travel because you will need lots of it.

3. You will still argue.

And most of the arguments just might stem from the fact that you both live a million miles away from each other and neither one of you can pick up at the drop of a dime to go visit the other. Get ready for that.

4. Patience is a virtue.

If you don't have patience, don't get involved in a long distance relationship. Plain and simple. You will need it because there will be times and moments that you can't share with each other in person and it will be very frustrating. Patience. Really .

5. Trust is a big thing.

Oh you have no idea. If you ever thought you were a jealous person or consider yourself to be one then you definitely are not made for a long distance relationship. You will question everything all the time and only lead to driving yourself bat shit crazy and your partner too. If you have lots of trust, you're good to go!

6. One day one of you will have to move to the other's city.

Be prepared as it may be you. If you are not open to moving and never were, don't put that kind of pressure on your partner if they have no desire to move either. You will be in quite the predicament unless you two both just want to carry on like this forever. Kudos to you then.

7. Make sure you are mentally strong and tough.

The challenges you will be up against are huge. Time, emotions, hours waiting for replies, nobody really understanding you, disconnected from the real world. The list goes on and on. You will have to make sure that online time doesn't consume you and you will have to remember that it is important to still get out and see your friends and family.

8. It doesn't get better or easier as time goes by.

Sometimes it can get more frustrating. Same old story again, he/she can't make it this weekend, no money, I have to stay home for my family. Yes another list goes on and on. No, it won't get easier.

9. You will learn a lot about yourself because you will question your values, your boundaries, your purpose and yes even your patience.

You will also wonder what the meaning of life is to you and if all this is worth it. This whole long distance thing. Are you really cut out for it? Time will tell, that's for sure.

10. If you make it through all that, you guys are solid.

If you can get through challenges, trials, loneliness and everything else that comes with a long distance relationship and still come out smiling and crazy in love, then you guy rock. You made it and you are role models for others.

I know some people who actually prefer relationships this way because it doesn't interfere with the great life they have now and they get to see their partner whenever and it works perfectly for them. If you are one of those people, then you got something good going on for sure!

Are you in a long distance relationship now or thinking about one? What are your thoughts, views, experiences? Share them below.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.

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